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In this digital story Hinemoana talks about growing up and dealing with depression.

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Details

This story is available on the Rainbow Touchstones DVD. Please get in contact for more information.

This project was funded by a NZ Mental Health Media Grant and proudly supported by the Ministry of Health's Like Minds, Like Mine Programme and the Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand.

Summary

This digital story, recorded in Paekākāriki on the Kapiti Coast District, is a poignant narrative relayed by Hinemoana regarding the personal struggles with depression that spanned the 1970s. The narrative delves into the challenging experiences of dealing with mental health from a young age, providing a candid look into the complex journey towards understanding and managing depression.

As Hinemoana shares, a perception of oneself as a misfit and the feeling of disconnection from family are illusions birthed by depression. This story underscores a critical distinction; these feelings are not present when the individual is healthy, highlighting the deceptive nature of depressive thoughts. Despite an acceptance of one's sexuality and a self-awareness that came naturally, it is revealed that an individual's struggles with depression often overshadow other realizations.

The story reveals a harrowing journey, beginning with the individual's first depressive episode at fourteen—an age marked by familial upheaval and the trauma of a non-consensual sexual encounter, leading to a subsequent suicide attempt. These events set the stage for a path characterized by self-destructive behavior aimed at numbing the pain. This account offers an unflinching look at depression’s physical manifestations—its heavy toll on the body and its ability to transform simple tasks into insurmountable challenges.

The turning point in the story arrives much later, with the first official diagnosis at the age of twenty-eight. A doctor's acknowledgment of depression provides a cathartic moment, even though it does not immediately reshape the personal perspectives of self-worth and the normality of depressive experiences. It took a subsequent severe episode and the intervention of medication to confront the deeply ingrained skepticism of treatment and acceptance of the condition's seriousness.

The concluding part of the narrative emphasizes the crucial role of self-care and routine in managing mental health. Medication is presented as one of many essential tools in a larger kit, one that is coupled with a sound support system and lifestyle adjustments tailored to mitigate stress and triggers. The story closes with an empowering lesson aimed at disbelieving the lies of a depressed mind and embracing the impermanence of depressive episodes. Coping mechanisms are essential, and the toolbox of strategies is personal and adaptable.

The recording ends with a powerful affirmation: understanding and addressing one's mental health is an ongoing process, and self-compassion is vital for healing.

This summary is created using Generative AI. Although it is based on the recording's transcription, it may contain errors or omissions. Click here to learn more about how this summary was created.

Record date:12th June 2010
Interviewer:Gareth Watkins
Copyright:pridenz.com
Location:Paekākāriki, Kapiti Coast District
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Archive:The master recording is archived at the Alexander Turnbull Library (OHDL-004557).
URL:https://www.pridenz.com/rainbow_touchstones_green.html