The title of this recording is "Snapshot 2000 - Jay". It is described as: Jay talks about coming out and first sexual experience. It was recorded in Auckland, Aotearoa New Zealand on the 24th January 2000. The duration of the recording is 9 minutes, but this may not reflect the actual length of the event. A list of correctly spelt content keywords and tags can be found at the end of this document. A brief description of the recording is: In this podcast Jay talks about coming out and first sexual experience. The content in the recording covers the 1960s decade. A brief summary of the recording is: The abstract for the recording "Snapshot 2000 - Jay," captured in Auckland, Aotearoa New Zealand, concerns an individual's personal journey of self-discovery and acceptance of their sexual identity. The narrative encapsulates the social pressures and internal conflict experienced during the 1960s, a time when societal norms and cultural expectations significantly challenged the notion of being openly gay, especially in certain cultural contexts. The speaker recounts recognizing their attraction to the same gender since their teenage years. Growing up in an Asian culture, where there often exists a heightened stigma surrounding homosexuality, contributed to suppressing these feelings. The individual discusses the societal expectation to conform, which led to a heterosexual relationship and an engagement to a woman. However, a lingering sense of unhappiness and the realization of living an inauthentic life prompted the speaker to call off the engagement. Seeking to discover their true self and to escape the weight of family expectations, the speaker decided to move abroad to study, using education as a cover for their real motivation. Canada became the landscape for their real introduction to gay culture. It was there that the individual began frequenting gay bars and truly understanding and embracing their sexuality. The speaker shares insights into gaining confidence and realizing that being attracted to the same gender was not a mistake. This newfound clarity and self-acceptance culminated in the speaker coming out to their family and revealing their sexual orientation. The sharing of the coming out experience with family highlights the varying reactions, from outright rejection to acceptance. Despite some family members struggling to come to terms with the revelation, the speaker was prepared and independent, willing to face the possibility of family estrangement. One sibling stood out for being predominantly supportive, acting as a pillar for the individual during this process. This highlights the complex dynamics of familial relationships when it comes to accepting a family member's sexuality. During their time in the military, the speaker shares their first sexual experience with someone of the same gender. This encounter was unplanned, and despite initial feelings of guilt and awkwardness, its repetition highlighted a complex exploration of sexual desire. This account sheds light on the individual's internal struggle and the external factors that contribute to understanding one's sexuality. The individual's narrative culminates in living openly as a gay person, embracing authenticity, and understanding the journey to self-acceptance. They underscore the importance of finding confidence within oneself before deciding to come out. The speaker compares the difference in acceptance between Western friends and those from Asian backgrounds, underscoring cultural differences. Ultimately, the speaker emphasizes the necessity of living truthfully for oneself. The recording provides a snapshot of the emotional and societal challenges faced by an individual coming to terms with their sexuality amidst cultural prejudices and expectations. It also discusses how geographical relocation can serve as an avenue to explore and accept one's identity. This story reflects broader themes of self-acceptance, the pursuit of happiness, and the impact of societal and cultural norms on individual lives. The full transcription of the recording begins:  Uh, how did I feel when I know I'm attractive guy? I probably, um I think I think I knew it from since I was very, very young. Probably like teenagers. I knew it already, but, um, everybody has different background, family and society, especially if you're from why countries supposed to be easier and and it's usually very, very, very difficult, especially in in Asian cultures. And so, most of the people, I think you probably know it, and then you just suppress it, and you just don't don't do anything with it. Some people even get married, which is very popular in in, you know, wherever you come from, um, for myself, I think I I knew it since I was I was a I was a kid. Um, I didn't do anything with it. Uh, I was still, like, do whatever, um, society or my family or other people or my classmates and what they do, you know, get a girlfriend and, you know, hang around with them. So I actually got a girlfriend, and, um, we've been, um, sort of seeing each other for quite a long time. And, uh, most of the time, I'm with her. We actually talk about getting married. That was when I was in my twenties, early twenties, and we actually got engaged just because I think it's the right thing to do and and also both of us, our family side are, you know, willing to see that happen. And I kind of go go along with it. But I, I knew the whole time, I I wasn't happy. And it's not really me. Um, so I kind of cancelled the marriage, and But I had to get away from it from my family and order with the people because I feel like it wasn't right, and and I had to find an excuse for for for both of the family, um, did have them ready for me. So I then I, I started to think about, um, going abroad to study that, um, So I decided to go to Canada. Actually, that was the main reason why I did that. It, um, to get away from my family and and, you know, to find myself. And that was perfect excuse for everybody. So, I, I said I just wasn't ready. I'm too young. I'm not really ready for for everything Yet Then I went to, um went to Canada to study. And that was the time I really exposed to myself to the to the gay culture. And that was the first time in a in a Western country. And I was free and, you know, willing to explore. And finally, then I start going to gay bars and and then just getting to know more people. And then I realised, being gay, it attracts men. It's not a mistake or it's not something wrong. You know, I I'm not the only one. There are a lot of people like they are very confident about themselves being gay somewhere. So I gain more and more confidence and then realise it is like, you know, I don't have to hide it. I think eventually you need to be honest to yourself and ask yourself, What are you? They are. And if you prepare for the worst, like I came out to my family as well a couple of years later, because I've been I've been I got a job and now I get to travel a lot, and I work in the United States and and it it helped a lot more to be really happy being who you are. So I decided to came out to my family and and everybody and it actually turned out to be OK. I mean, they had some. We have some, um, family problems when I told them. But I was really prepared to, um, to say, Hey, if they're not going to accept me, that's OK. I still can't handle myself. I still can and they'll support myself. I've been supporting myself all the time anyway, so I have no threats from them if they're not going to accept it and which some of my family are not very happy about it. But I didn't I didn't really care because, you know, that's my life. And I live for myself and I. I don't need anything from them. Even if they're emotionally not gonna support me, I I'm actually say I'm prepared for them. So I think you just have to be confident about yourself if you want to come out. If you're not really, I think it's probably better not to, um, my friends, especially Western friends, seems to be less problem than A than in a Asian countries where I come from Asia. So, um, they just making a little bit of comparison. So I'm totally out now to companies my work and school whatever. And I actually came out to my class. They were kind of joking, and and And I said, Yes, I am. And some of them are just huh? And some of them are actually OK, and actually, they are quite gay. Gay people there. I know there's a gay guy and a lesbian there. It was sort of a joke. It was just, like joke joking about gay and and I just Yes, I am gay. I'm the first one that came out in the class. And then I saw the other ones. They didn't They didn't mention they. I know they are, but I just read them in gay bars, and I read 00, you are too. And it? Yeah, they they they think I know it as well, but they didn't want to tell anyone. My case is very different. Um, my parents died, um, quite a long time ago, so I don't really have parents up until I was, um 28 and I came out after that after they both passed away. So to me, it's sort of a a relief of my burden. If I if my parents are still alive, then I probably would never tell my parents. But I would tell my sisters and brothers and most of them they really don't understand. And they're actually, we had we had got into some sort of argument and and it was quite quite a drama. But, um, at least I have for one sister. She's very supportive and she's like my mother, and she's the one who brought me up. She's the only one that is. Really I wouldn't I wouldn't say 100% supporting. Or at least probably I would say, 90%. She's She's the one who says Who says, Um, it's OK to my brother wherever you are, so you're happy you know what you're doing and and you're happy? We don't We don't have any question, but others they just sort of after that told them, um, we sort of like kind of drifted away from each other. I don't I don't hardly see See them anymore. II. I even I mean, it's my my purpose to avoid them and probably I mean it's been. It's been there many years now. If I see them again, I'm sure it'll be fine. But I just I I constantly living overseas. So I really you know, they see them a lot. And if I go back to my country, I just usually see my favourite sister. And that's it. You know, I don't I don't care about all the others. It happens When I was in the Army, it was sort of just naturally happened. There was no one around. And we have to stay in duty when, uh, the camp and in winter it's quite cold and we just try to keep, keep warm, keep warm, and we end up laying in the same bed watching TV and just, you know, naturally we just cuddle and and trying to be warm because there is no heater there. So and and that's when when it happened, Um, sort of, um, joking off. There's nothing, Nothing like, you know, just watching it. And then the next day I feel so I. I felt so bad and he probably felt the same way, and we just couldn't look each other in the face for a couple of months, we can't even speak to each other. Um, it was quite bizarre because I think it was probably the first time for both of us had experienced that you would probably feel guilty and strange and maybe stupid. Um, but at the same time, you sort of enjoy it. It's kind of exciting. And and I think it was just driven by sexual desire of I when I that man, it just happened to be a man next to you. So that was my first time experience. And then although we we didn't really talk to each other for a long time and actually it happened again, it happened again. So we actually did it again. So it was quite strange. And after a couple of years, III I knew he got married and I didn't go to the wedding, but I knew he was Mary. I think he's straight now, basically, and he was just like, fooling around. The full transcription of the recording ends. A list of keywords/tags describing the recording follow. These tags contain the correct spellings of names and places which may have been incorrectly spelt earlier in the document. The tags are seperated by a semi-colon: 1960s ; Aotearoa New Zealand ; Asian ; Auckland ; Canada ; People ; Snapshot 2000 ; army ; bars ; change ; class ; coming out ; confidence ; culture ; desire ; family ; friends ; fun ; gay ; growing up ; marriage ; military ; other ; pants ; parents ; school ; sex ; sexuality ; study ; support ; threats ; time ; trauma ; travel ; wedding ; work. The original recording can be heard at this website https://www.pridenz.com/snapshot_2000_jay.html. The master recording is also archived at the Alexander Turnbull Library in Wellington, New Zealand.  For more details visit their website https://tiaki.natlib.govt.nz/#details=ecatalogue.1089401. Please note that this document may contain errors or omissions - you should always refer back to the original recording to confirm content.