The title of this recording is "Snapshot 2000 - Gary". It is described as: Gary talks about coming out and first sexual experience. It was recorded in Melbourne, Australia on the 24th January 2000. The duration of the recording is 5 minutes, but this may not reflect the actual length of the event. A list of correctly spelt content keywords and tags can be found at the end of this document. A brief description of the recording is: In this podcast Gary talks about coming out and first sexual experience. The content in the recording covers the 1950s decade. A brief summary of the recording is: In this five-minute podcast titled "Snapshot 2000 - Gary," recorded on January 24, 2000, in Melbourne, Australia, the speaker shares a deeply personal narrative about their journey to self-acceptance and the challenging path of coming out. The individual reflects back on a youth in the 1950s, noting an early attraction to others of the same gender from around the age of seven or eight. Yet, realizing the social and personal implications, they did not act on these feelings until reaching the age of 21. A phase of denial during their teenage years, common among LGBTQ+ individuals due to societal expectations, is described. Despite hoping that attraction to the opposite gender would emerge, it never materialized. The first encounter with someone of the same gender occurred with an old school acquaintance. This interaction was significant, but it was followed by another period of inactivity driven largely by the guilt and fear instilled by a Catholic upbringing. The podcast outlines that the speaker was open about their sexual orientation with friends, but chose to keep this aspect of their life private from their workplace. The speaker's family presented a more complex scenario. Their mother, who was struggling with mental health issues, confronted them directly about their sexuality during a time of turbulence. The speaker confirmed their sexual orientation, leading to a painful estrangement until the mother's passing. A subsequent attempt to reconcile through a letter, explaining the unchangeable nature of their identity, went unaccepted by the mother. While the mother’s response was disheartening, the speaker’s father demonstrated understanding and maintained a relationship with them. Moreover, their sister affirmed their love and continuous support, suggesting that familial reactions can vary greatly. The speaker, however, feels discomfort in engaging with other relatives due to perceived judgment rooted in religious beliefs. Discussing first experiences, the speaker recounts feelings of anxiety and an overwhelming sense of guilt - residual effects of their religiously influenced conscience - the latter of which has since subsided. The podcast conveys the personal resolution that accompanies the acceptance of one's identity, beyond religious or societal pressures. Through the retelling of their story, the speaker emphasizes that coming out is a deeply personal decision and one that should be made at an individual’s own pace. They advocate for testing the waters with close friends, understanding that the reaction of family members can be unpredictable. They also deliberate on the relevance of engaging with the broader gay political scene, asserting that coming out is more a statement of personal truth than a political act. The content closes by encouraging listeners to focus on what matters most to them in their lives, reassuring them that the process of coming out is significant only to oneself and those closest to them. The full transcription of the recording begins:  I think I quite liked other boys when I was in third class at school. What's that? Seven or eight? Which is a bit young, I suppose. But probably no younger than anybody else. I didn't do anything about it until I was about 21. Um, in about when I was about 16, I went through that denial period. I'll grow out of it. You read about people being gay, Um, and some sort of adolescent thing. And then suddenly the world of girls opens up, and it's still very exciting. It never happened. The 21 I met a guy that I used to know when I was at school, quite by accident, and I could sense that he was gay and one thing led to another. And then I did nothing for about another year after that. So I was terribly closeted being brought up Catholic. It doesn't help because you go through that guilt trip. Um, anybody who's not perfect in any way is made to feel guilty. And by perfect it's It's the the Catholic version of Perfect. Um, coming out was a different matter. Um, I was out to my friends. I'm still not out at work. I don't see any relevance of being out at work. I just see that as something which is none of their business. Uh, I had quite a number of gay friends I was living in, uh, in Canberra at the time, And, uh, the only people I wasn't out with were my parents and my sister. And then one day out of the blue and my mother rang me. She was going through a fairly rough patch emotionally, and she'd been seeing a psychiatrist. Uh, I think she had bipolar disease. It was really bizarre. She was very difficult to deal with sometimes. And, uh, she was naming me for a lot of things that were wrong with herself. And maybe I was contributing to that. I don't know. And she asked me whether I was gay, and I said yes. And, uh, she just dropped the bundle completely. She didn't want to speak to me again. Ever. Um, and she didn't. Oh, there was once or twice that I tried to make contact with. So I decided to put in a letter and sent her a letter saying, There's nothing much we can do about this This is how it is. You're not going to change me. I have no intention of going to any sort of therapy or or whatever. And if I go, if I went to a psychologist or a psychiatrist, they'd probably say, What the hell are you doing here? So she didn't really accept that and didn't talk to me until she died the day she died. My father, on the other hand, was quite understanding. I still see him, and, uh, we visit occasionally. He lives in Sydney. I live in Melbourne. My sister rang me after my mother rang her straight away and said it didn't change anything. She still loved me as a brother, and, uh, we keep in contact constantly. We ring about every two weeks, and her husband is fine. Um, I don't talk to any of the other family because I don't know. I feel uncomfortable about it. Um, they're very catholic, and I think we see it as some sort of, uh, failure on my part. Maybe I do, too. I sort of fiddled around, you know, with the boy next door. That was when I was about 14 or 15, and he was only just experimenting. And he was quite cruel, actually. Um, the first real experience was, uh, when I was 21. Prior to the experience, I was extremely nervous. I was shaking almost uncontrollably here. I was finally finally going to experiment with something that I've been thinking about for 0, 10 years or more and er during it, I was still shaking him. But he was He was a very nice guy. He was also on drugs, so he I think he had some sort of, um a relaxant of some sort because he was a bit glazed over, um and then afterwards, incredible guilt because I've been told by the Catholic Church that that was the bad thing to do. I don't have those guilt feelings anymore because I don't see it is relevant. I would test the water with people that you know very well and see what their reaction is. But I sensed that my mother wouldn't be able to cope with it, and I kept it from her for quite a long time. And she didn't like that. And when I told her that she wasn't reacting particularly well and that's the reason why I didn't tell her she like that, even less so. There was no way of winning. Um, take your time. It's It's It's your life. You do what you have to do. It's not important to anybody except yourself and your immediate family and friends. I don't see how any of the gay political scene needs to have your voice added, Um, unless you're comfortable. It's not a political statement, it's a statement about you. The full transcription of the recording ends. A list of keywords/tags describing the recording follow. These tags contain the correct spellings of names and places which may have been incorrectly spelt earlier in the document. The tags are seperated by a semi-colon: 1950s ; Australia ; Canada ; Melbourne ; People ; Snapshot 2000 ; change ; church ; coming out ; death ; denial ; drugs ; experiment ; family ; feelings ; friends ; gay ; growing up ; guilt ; hell ; letter ; lifestyle ; mental health ; other ; parents ; psychiatrist ; religion ; scene ; school ; time ; understanding ; voice ; water ; work. The original recording can be heard at this website https://www.pridenz.com/snapshot_2000_gary.html. The master recording is also archived at the Alexander Turnbull Library in Wellington, New Zealand.  For more details visit their website https://tiaki.natlib.govt.nz/#details=ecatalogue.1089400. Please note that this document may contain errors or omissions - you should always refer back to the original recording to confirm content.