The title of this recording is "Emma - Q12". It is described as: Emma talks about being young and bisexual in 2012. It was recorded in Manawatū, Manawatu, Aotearoa New Zealand on the 13th September 2012. The duration of the recording is 14 minutes, but this may not reflect the actual length of the event. A list of correctly spelt content keywords and tags can be found at the end of this document. A brief description of the recording is: In this podcast Emma talks about being young and bisexual in 2012. The content in the recording covers the 2010s decade. A brief summary of the recording is: This summary recounts the experience of Emma, a 20-year-old from Aotearoa New Zealand who identifies as bisexual and admits to having some degree of social anxiety. Speaking candidly in a 2012 recording from Manawatū, Emma shares insights into their personal journey, including their background, identity, and experiences relating to their sexuality. Originally from Taranaki, Emma has resided in Manawatū for approximately a year and a half. They took a hiatus from their studies for medical reasons and are currently training to become a personal assistant. Emma clarifies that this role does not involve working in a "dungeon," indicating a boundary set against certain expectations people may have about the position. During the conversation, Emma also discusses their gender identity, affirming their female identity, while expressing a fluid sense of cultural identity, noting a particular fondness for Asian culture despite not being of Asian nationality. In terms of gender expression, Emma leans towards a more feminine presentation, albeit not extremely so. The revelation of being attracted to the same gender occurred at the age of 14, as Emma recalls feeling attracted to cheerleaders seen on television. This moment of self-realization did not result in any significant internal conflict but was more of a calm acknowledgment of their own sexuality. At the time, Emma was dating a male partner who expressed concern that they might leave them for a woman, a situation they had previously encountered. Emma's subsequent handling of relationships suggests a blend of open-mindedness and sensitivity. Emma has been open about their sexual orientation with friends, but has not disclosed it to family members due to a lack of closeness and uncertainty about possible reactions. The exploration of their sexual identity with friends seems to be an organic process, often emerging in casual conversation without a need for formal "coming out." Despite the freedom experienced among friends, Emma has kept their sexual orientation hidden from their family. They suggest that they might only inform their family if they enter into a significant long-term relationship with a woman. The decision appears rooted in the current lack of necessity rather than from fear of negative consequences. With a network of supportive friends, Emma does not tolerate discriminatory behavior based on their sexuality. They have not personally experienced abuse or negative treatment as a consequence of their sexual orientation, partly due to their private approach toward the matter. In terms of LGBTQ community involvement, Emma admits to wanting to attend youth groups but is hindered by social anxiety. Moreover, Emma's relationships with individuals of the same gender have mostly been casual, with no serious romantic encounters to date barring affections towards an acquaintance met in Japan who did not reciprocate Emma’s feelings. Finally, Emma provides their perspective on virginity, viewing it as a primarily physical concept regarding one's first sexual experience. This stance reflects Emma's broader attitude towards sexuality, which seems practical and individualistic. Emma envisions a future involving extensive travel, hoping for a position that would allow working in various countries, especially within Asia. Their love of travel is evident in their past trips to nations like Fiji, Tonga, and Vanuatu, with further ambitions to explore more of the world. The full transcription of the recording begins:  Hello. How are you today? Good. That's good. Who are you? Emma. Hello, Emma. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Um, I'm 20. I'm taking a break from study by playing. Playing? No. I mean, like, I was a student, and now I'm taking a break for medical reasons. And what do you What do you do? And I'm working. I'm training for a job as a personal assistant. Oh, and what is that personal assistant for? To do? Interesting. How did you get into that? Um, my friend set me up. I'm just a personal assistant. I don't do anything in the dungeon. Yeah, I love nothing in the dungeon. No. Yeah. Good boundary there. Is it a good boundary? Yeah. Yes. So, um, are you from palmy? No, I'm from Taranaki. Taranaki. Um what? Um how long have you lived in palmy? Uh, about a year and a half. Nearly two years. About a year and a half, maybe a year and three quarters or something. So did just came from New Plymouth. I ever I've never been to before that not that great nice beach and a nice view of the mountain. But that's about it. That's it? Yeah. It's really small. It's very small. Why is that? Because it's a small town. How many people are there? Oh, I don't know. Couple of 1000 maybe nothing. Big? No. No. So what is your sex like female? That Is that what you mean? Yes. You know what gender identity is? Um, will you classify yourself as female or male? Yes. What gender do you What gender do you identify yourself as? Female female. And what is your sexuality as sexual. And what is your cultural identity? Which which culture do you identify with New Zealand? Is that what you're asking me? You can you can be. You can identify your culture with Kiwi. Can I be like Kiwi, Asian, kiwi? Asian? Really? Because I'm really into Asia. You're really into Asia. So I'm really into Asian culture. That's not my actual, um, nationality. But it works. And, um, do you express yourself in a masculine feminine a dike way or to boy or anything? Um, I'd say I'm more feminine than masculine. Yeah, you like a girly girl. Not super girly, but kind of. You have your You have your masculine moments, but not that often? Yeah. Yeah, as you do. So when did you realise that you were attracted to the same gender? Um, I think I was, like, 14. And I remember I was watching TV, and, um, there's a bunch of cheerleaders on TV, and I was like, Oh, they're quite hot, blah, blah. And I was like, Oh, shit. I just realised I'm attracted to women. Holy shit. And yeah, that was pretty much it. Was it like a Was it, like, bring it on or something like that movie? No, Um, I think the rugby was on or something. My parents watching rugby, and there's cheerleaders or something like that. I can't really remember. That's new. OK, I've never actually heard. Um, I never actually heard that before Where someone, um, a girl figured out that they are attracted to girls by watching a manly game of rugby. I don't watch rugby. My dad was watching it and I was just in the room and there was cheerleaders. Be aggressive. Be aggressive. Touch your ball on that ground. Yeah. Oh, any who? So, um, did you have feelings with, um other students in my class? Like other girls? Not in my class, but at the same school I did at the same school. Yeah. Did Did you ever tell them about it or no. Where they like the hot girls that just, like, walk around and you just go, Um, kind of Yeah. Like I don't Really? Yeah, I'm really easily intimidated by females. So if I like a girl, I can never really tell her. Why is that? Because I'm very shy. Are you're a shy person. Yeah. I make sure, like I've got social anxiety as well. So, um, when you, um, first realised, how did you feel? Uh hm. Nothing really changed, like, Oh, my God. I was just like, Oh, that's interesting. You didn't really went through a period, didn't you? No. You just accepted who you are. Like me. Yeah, pretty much I. I don't like I had a boyfriend at the time, but, um yeah, there was no problem with it. Really. I was just like, Oh, give us a heart. My my girlfriend is and two other girls. Was it that kind of thing? Um, he kind of didn't really like it that much, but really, because he's said, um, girls that him for other girls before, So he was scared I was going to do that, which is understandable. Yeah, I guess. That's understandable. Yeah, I guess that's different then. He's not really against sexuality. He's just No, no. It was just because we were in a relationship, he was just afraid of me leaving him kind of thing. Yeah. It's sweet in a way, don't you think? Yeah. I don't want to lose you. Yeah. So, um, when did you come out or are you out? Um, I haven't told my family, but with my friends, I've pretty much told everyone. Like, Yeah. Hm. How does that go when you told them? Well, I didn't actually really have to come out to them. I was just kind of like an everyday conversation, like, Oh, yeah. I'm by blah, blah, blah kind of thing. Or like, are we talking about a girl? And people were like, Oh, you're gay. And I'm like, Oh, I'm kind of thing. Like, it's not a big deal, but with my family, I can't tell them. Why is that? Um I'm not really close with them, so I don't know how they react. So it's not really a question of coming out or anything. It's just that you just don't feel like I feel like they should know. Um, if I get in a relationship with a girl for, like, a long term relationship, I'd probably tell them. But at the moment, I've never really had any reason to tell them. Fair enough. Yeah. So, um, when did you, um when was that? When you were actually coming out to your friends? Um mm. It's I kind of just tell them when I meet them. Or like, uh, I don't know, Like when I was 15 or 16 or something. So did you ever felt that you had to keep it secret from anybody from my family from your family? Do you think that you if you would ever tell them if, of course, you probably would if you got into a relationship, but otherwise, um hm. Maybe if they asked me about it, Like, see you with a different with a girl or something like that. Um, if it was with a girl, I would tell them. But if, um, my parents were just like I don't know if they just asked or what your sexuality or something. I wouldn't mind telling them, but I'm not going to bring it up myself. It's highly unlikely that they'll probably be especially, especially if you've had boyfriends and so on. Yeah. Yeah. So you've had a support system in your because of your sexuality? Um, about your sexuality. Like no one was against it or anything. And they supported you. If anyone was, I'd just be like, Fuck off, please. Yeah. And, um Oh, God. Lost track. How can I lose track? Um, so have you ever been to a LGBTI Q? Um, youth group before? No. Have you ever wanted to? Yes, but, um, because of my social anxiety, I haven't been able to If someone did take me, I'd probably just be real quiet and not really talk to anyone kind of thing. Yeah. So you've been in, uh, have you ever been in a relationship with a girl before? Not in a relationship. Have you had things with girls? Just 11? Yeah. Like to tell us about it? Um, I was drunk at a party. We just hooked up like nothing big. No, nothing big. No, she, um We thought about getting into a relationship afterwards, but it just didn't happen. Yeah, we weren't really that into each other kind of thing. Like it was just a drunk thing. Spare at the moment. Yeah. Hm. Have you ever had feelings for her, like, proper romantic feelings for a girl before? Yes. Yes, I have. We just like to give us an example of any of these girls. Um, there was this one girl who I met in Japan, and she was from Canada, and I kind of fell in love with her, but she's straight, so I never told her. Um, so yeah. Yeah. So, um, how do you meet other people in the LGBTI Q community? I've never really been able to Until recently, my flatmates kind of introduced me to people in the community. And slowly, one by one and one. Yeah, like just starting to know her friends. So all new for you. Brand new experiences bla bla bla bla. It's like, Wow, it's a completely new world. Is there a new will for you? Um, a little bit. Yeah, but at the same time, it's like nothing has changed. Yeah. Nothing's really changed that much. It's just more around me? Yeah. People More fabulous. Absolutely. Yeah. So, um, what is your definition of virginity? My definition of virginity? Yes. Um, well, this first time you make love to someone. Really? Do you think, um, do you feel that virginity can be more of a sexual thing? Could be other things like emotional, spiritual, religious. Um, Hm. I just say it's a physical thing. Like just the physical sex between, uh, between two people. Yeah. Ok. Have you ever experienced or received any abuse or abusive behaviour because of your sexuality or gender identity? No, it's not because you're like, Oh, I'm fine. What? It It's because you're not really going out and saying, Oh, I bye. Not really. No. Then again, I don't think anybody does that. No. Yeah, I'm gay and probably like a drag queen. Um, apart from Beth, I am a lesbian. Yeah, but I think she's more like, Oh, I'm a dominatrix. So tell us a little bit more about you being a P a with you, Um, for dominatrix. Um, it's kind of interesting because I'm quite vanilla. So, like, not like you're not chocolate or anything, Or strawberry, like, um, sexually. I'm quite not that kinky. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm not into, um, whips or toys and stuff like that. So it's kind of really interesting doing stuff with because she's into so much. And I'm just like, what is this? You're slightly fascinated, but at the same time, you're like, No. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much Keep that whip away from me. I don't want to be tied up. Uh, too many dreams. So did you expect this to happen at all the thing? Yeah. Um, no, I didn't expect it, but it just kind of happened. Things happen. Here we go. Goodness gracious me. What do you see yourself doing in the future? Um, I want to travel a lot. So I want to have a job where I can kind of work in many countries, in many countries, like all throughout Asia, I'd love to travel for Asia. You travelled a lot already, haven't you? A little bit, obviously. To Japan. Yeah, that was awesome. How about anywhere else? I've been to Fiji, Tonga, Vanuatu. Um, that's all. No, no, I haven't even been to the South Island either. 82. Well, thank you for the interview. Ok, sweet. The full transcription of the recording ends. A list of keywords/tags describing the recording follow. These tags contain the correct spellings of names and places which may have been incorrectly spelt earlier in the document. The tags are seperated by a semi-colon: 2010s ; Aotearoa New Zealand ; Asian ; Australia ; Canada ; David ; Drag Queen ; Europe ; Fiji ; God ; Japan ; Job ; LGBT ; Manawatū ; Palmerston North ; People ; Stuff ; Taranaki ; Vanuatu ; Youth ; abuse ; anxiety ; bisexual ; chocolate ; class ; coming out ; community ; conversation ; culture ; dominatrix ; drag ; emotional ; family ; feelings ; friends ; future ; gay ; gender ; gender identity ; identity ; love ; masculine ; other ; parents ; podcast ; queen ; rainbow ; romantic ; rugby ; saying no ; school ; sex ; sex work ; sexuality ; social ; social anxiety ; speech ; straight ; study ; support ; time ; tomboy ; touch ; training ; travel ; virginity ; women ; work ; youth ; youth group. The original recording can be heard at this website https://www.pridenz.com/q12_emma.html. The master recording is also archived at the Alexander Turnbull Library in Wellington, New Zealand.  For more details visit their website https://tiaki.natlib.govt.nz/#details=ecatalogue.1089318. Please note that this document may contain errors or omissions - you should always refer back to the original recording to confirm content.