The title of this recording is "Peri Te Wao profile". It is described as: Peri Te Wao talks about growing up and transitioning from female to male. It was recorded in Wellington, Aotearoa New Zealand on the 10th April 2010. Peri Te Wao is being interviewed by Wai Ho.  Their names are spelt correctly but may appear incorrectly spelt later in the document. The duration of the recording is 21 minutes. A list of correctly spelt content keywords and tags can be found at the end of this document. A brief description of the recording is: In this podcast Peri talks about growing up and transitioning from female to male. The content in the recording covers the 1980s decade. A brief summary of the recording is: In the podcast recorded on April 10, 2010, Peri Te Wao speaks with interviewer Wai Ho about their life experiences growing up and transitioning from female to male during the 1980s in Aotearoa New Zealand. The interview, part of a Human Rights Commission inquiry into transgender issues, captures Peri's personal journey of self-discovery, struggles, and belonging. Born away from Wellington and orphaned at a young age, Peri was raised by an aunt and uncle. Leaving home to find oneself was a daunting but necessary step for Peri, who didn't want to end up stuck in their hometown. Joining the military provided a family for a while and a pathway to join the broader gay and trans community, which became a lasting source of support. Peri always knew their true gender identity but had to grapple with societal expectations due to being assigned female at birth. Initially living within the gay community, Peri found acceptance despite an internal battle with identity and the challenges of not fitting neatly into the expected roles of the time. Peri discusses the difficulty of transitioning, both for personal identity and the shift away from known communities. Peri experienced challenges in relationships, where they felt unable to share all of themselves or needing to tend to partners' issues, ultimately deciding that focusing on self-identification was necessary. At 29, the journey of openly transitioning began with honesty and support from a doctor, marking a pivotal moment of self-acceptance and the start of a new life chapter. Throughout the podcast, Peri reflects on what it means to belong to various communities and the importance of finding supportive spaces. Being an active participant in support groups and LGBTQ+ organizations, Peri highlights the significance of respecting everyone's unique journey and the need for inclusive environments that embrace all identities. Their voluntary work spans from Sisters of Compassion to LGBTI organizations, emphasizing community engagement and contribution. Peri notes the progress within the trans community, the ever-evolving understanding of gender identity, and the ongoing education around these issues. Valuing their own preference for working behind the scenes, Peri completed a diploma in management that identified their strength as leading from the back rather than seeking the limelight. The interview culminates with Peri sharing anticipation of participating in the out games for tennis, an activity they had not engaged in due to surgeries related to transitioning. Despite being self-conscious, Peri's involvement in sports and cultural events such as the haka at the opening ceremony of the 2008 Asia Pacific Out games was empowering and memorable. Peri Te Wao's poignant narrative offers insight into the complexities of gender identity, community integration, and the personal growth that comes from boldly walking through new doors. The full transcription of the recording begins:  So I'm here with today. Um, it's a lovely sunny day and we're at How's it going today? Petty. Yes, it's It's going really well today. We've just finished our our and our and now I think everybody's settling down to some serious work shopping. Right. So this is a HR C human right commission Transgender in relation to the transgender inquiry. That's correct. Yeah. Yeah, and there might be a chainsaw startup at some time, but we're hoping it will leave off for a bit. So did you grow up? You live in Wellington? Did you grow up here? Petty? I didn't grow up here. I actually grew up in my hometown in, uh, in, Uh, I was born in, um my mom and dad are from te puke and down that way. And then when my mom died, when I was about three, I was out to an auntie and uncle in, so I grew up at, um, point in in pretty much till I left home. Yeah. And what was leaving home like, it was really scary. I mean, um, kind of didn't know what to expect. Um, it was It was really a time that I either left home and and found myself, or I just, um, was, like, the rest of my and got stuck in a rut and just did what they all did and which was, you know, lived and died in the same place. But I needed to venture out. And so you've been involved with the kind of queer trends gay lesbian community for quite a while. I have, um pretty much since I've I've been, um, on my own. When I left home, I, um I actually joined the military, and they were my family for a few years. And, um, after that I I actually found, or even even before leaving the military, I found that I actually belonged to the to the the the Wider, um, gay and trans community. And from there on, I've been there ever since. Yeah, How was that journey and did you kind of always know, Or was it a slow kind of knowing? Or I always knew that I was who I am, and that is I'm a male. I always knew that from from a young age, but I guess I had to kind of like, um, be tolerant with everybody and waste my time and, um, don't know where I learned to be tolerant, but somehow it worked in really well. And then when I came, came through and and living out, out, Um, as as an adult, Um, yeah. Many experiences, actually. Good and bad are all part of my journey. So I take it as as all my learning. Yeah. Mm. And were you lots of some, Some Trans guys. I know, Um, we kind of came out as lesbians and lived in community or lesbian community for a while and then, you know, and then continued on and transition. Was it like that for you or Yeah, it was It was actually because there was no I didn't really know. Well, yeah. What? I was really old. I knew I was a guy, but I couldn't be a guy because I had a female body. So I was living as a female, but I knew who I was inside. And so I was attracted to females. Um, therefore, my community at that time would have been in in the in. The gay community will be with the women. Um, I never really call myself, you know, um, a gay woman. Um, because I didn't really think I was, but I had to affiliate to somebody, and it was really cool, because, um, I was embraced and, yeah, I guess they saw me as a lesbian as a you know, whatever you might call call me in those days back in the seventies and eighties. And, um, the the unusual thing of that is that I loved sports, so I played a lot of sports in the community. But I was always on the altar. I wasn't actually really, um, inside the gay community, like, like, really inside. Like when you go to places and you're like, you know, the limelight or the party and you know, everybody. I kind of knew people, but I was always the shy one, always on the alter watching in. And that's pretty much how I live my life on the Alta watching in and also accepting their their, um, opening up their community to me because I had no other place to go. I didn't have a family. Um, so I had to try and make my friends and family, and it happened to be, um, in, um, the gay community amongst the women. Yeah, so and I was embraced and they embraced me in a very respectful way. But, uh, even to this day, who I am now, I will still support. And I still have a great respect for, um, our gay woman. I really do. So when you transitioned, I guess, Well, I guess you always knew you were, But when you kind of let everybody else know that, what were some of the responses? I guess particularly within kind of lesbian and gay. It was quite interesting because because like I said, I was on the I wasn't really a person that was the limelight of anything, really. And and I I had a I was in a relationship with with a woman and we we were I live quite almost quite like a private life, Really? So it wasn't it didn't hit them really, really badly or or positively. It just really didn't really go there because as I transitioned my my movements transitioned, too. I decided to become a little bit more reclusive and a little bit more worried about what I needed to do for me. So I kind of like had to also stop what I enjoyed doing in the community which was playing sport. I had to give up my sport sporting life to support what I was about to go through to change my body. So I kind of, like, moved a little bit away from them, but not too far that they didn't know I was still around. And I guess I, um I'm not the sort of person that, like I said, likes the limelight. So I was always somebody that was away in the background. And I guess the the communication that I received really was it's a respect for one, and understanding one there were one or two that just couldn't work me out anyway from the start, So that didn't really bother me. I think I kind of like, had this bit of a shield up where I didn't find or didn't look for or didn't even hear negativity. I really just had enough energy to just go forward and concentrate on getting myself in the space where I needed to be. And to be honest, I didn't hear that much negativity at all. Yeah, So it was it an easy thing for you to decide to transition? Or were you just kind of waiting until the time was right or I was kind of waiting for the time. So I said I didn't know a name for myself. I didn't know that we were called transsexual or transgender. And there's that chainsaw. Um and I didn't know When did you first hear that to him, or like you like, Oh, I must have been about 21 22 when I heard you know there's people called transsexuals and living in Wellington Um, and a mate of mine in the army. You know, her auntie was only evergreen and she'd take me there every now and again. And it's like, I think this place is, You know, you get this feeling inside, it's like, yeah, like, and it's like, um, I can relate to this. And you get this this adrenaline rush and you start thinking, Hey, this is I think I'm finding what's their term again. And then and then and then I see some of the the the the street girls and the street queens and I'm thinking, Oh, yeah, I can relate to you. But not like you The opposite but I'm I'm feeling really a connection here, and and that was that was really cool. But, um, it it was It was, I guess, um, for me. Um, when I started understanding that and started reading up about what the heck is it? Transsexual and what's a transgender? And then I thought, Shit, that's me. That's me. I and I found that out myself. I'm a bit slow. I mean, you know, it took me years to I was, what, 2022? I went. Oh, dear. The light went on, and I and I connected with myself by by saying, I think I'm one of these people because I'm certainly not a female. I am a male, Uh, even though I've got a female's body, Um, and and I'm one of them, you know? And it was a hell of a revelation, is it? It was absolutely freaky. Um, you know, I'd be staring in the mirror and looking at myself, you know, and going, You know what the hell you know. Are you You know, just I spent a bit of time talking to myself, and, um, what I had to end up doing is looking beyond the face and inside and going What's in your heart, man? What's in your What is your heart telling you in my heart screaming out You're a man. You know this You were born to be a man. Everything your your whole energy is about being a man And it's like, true, It was self acknowledgement. It was I did that all on my own stand in front of a mirror by myself, pieced it together And it was really, really freaky. It was really concerning. I was in a relationship. I had to to kind of, like, communicate this sort of Hey, you know, um, you know this relationship we're in it's not quite what it's about, but at the time, my, my my partner at the time was all about her, um, her family, her life. She knew I had no family. She knew I was kind of like ousted from the family, so she took advantage of that. So for me, it was like, No, you're not the right person I need to share this with. So it was a time where lots of things happened, not just finding myself, but I also had to find where I was in my relationship where I was in my my head space in my workspace. Um, everything. Really? So it was freaky? Yeah, very. Hm. And what did it feel like? I guess to Because you you totally are a man now, you know. And so how do you kind of feel now to when? Before, When you knew you were a man inside. But you knew that other people thought that you weren't. Yeah, I wished. I excuse the expression. I wish I had balls. You know what I mean? To actually kind of wake up to the situation earlier and not waste those precious years by being, uh um not so much a nobody. But, um, being down on myself knowing that there was something not right but not knowing what it was being dumb about it and, um, being brought up in in in my home to be seen and not heard. So I I was really pissed off at myself because I I wasted so much precious time. But then, on the other hand, I managed to, you know, convince myself that maybe the universe would say to you there's a time and place I may have been too young. People would have doubted me. I might have doubted myself. I'm at an age now. When? When I transitioned, I was at an age where, Yeah, I could take it on full bore and accept whatever happens, happens. Maybe I was too young. I don't know, but I, I do feel I regret taking so long to get get, get myself sorted out. What age were you when you got it sorted? If you don't mind me asking, I was about 22 and I realised that hey, put one on one together and, uh, yeah, I'm a trans. Um, Then I had to work through my relationships. I actually had a couple of relationships, and at the same time, No, I had one had one and realised it was going nowhere, um, and left that one. But I actually went straight into another one because, um, because I was so hot in my young days, I had women chasing all the time, so I had never seen that. And and so I had this another relationship, and it was like, um, you know, when you're young, you're just you're just going for it. Wanting to be loved. And so you go into this relationship and you waste another few years trying to sort their crap out just as much as your own crap and waste all their time. So it wasn't till I was 29 when I decided stuff, This stuff, the relationships, they're not working. Um, get yourself, you know, on track. So I had to really, really make the make the effort for myself. So I promised myself when I turned 29 to actually go to my doctors, um, things things weren't working in my relationships and go to doctors and get it sorted out from there. And it started from stage one saying, I'm there's something wrong with me by being honest with my GP and even say I'm not a woman. And it was just like the huge revelation, the huge just lifting of of so much, um, so much whatever you might call it, the weight just lifted. When I actually see that to a stranger, which is my GP was the first person you first stranger. I told um and and she just kind of like didn't even flinch, actually smiled eyes lit up and says I know just a thing. And I think you are so kidding me. You know what I'm saying? I don't know if I said the right words. She says, I know exactly what you're saying. I will refer you to the hospital from there on. This is the result. Yeah, one GP by being upfront and honest and not being arrogant and not saying demanding them to fix whatever the problem. Because I didn't have a problem. I just didn't know what the hell was going on with myself. But I just needed somebody to guide me in the right place. Yeah, so it was all on from there. It was game on from 29. Yeah, and just uphill from there. And, well, no more confusions. And it was like there was just no going back. It was like all I needed was somebody to just open the door. That that's pretty much what she did. She just opened the door, and I've done the rest. I've kind of, like, walked through the door and just kept going and going and going. And it was Yeah, it took me 29 years for somebody to come and open the little door, but, um, sometimes it happens. So you're part of quite a few groups. Trans guys support groups or Yeah, I actually, um since I've been in Wellington, I've been doing lots of stuff for even the wider community. Um, for for the LGBTI community and even just mainstream. Really? Um, there's things out there that interest me and I just go in there and just help out. Um, my first lot of voluntary work was with, um, the Sisters of Compassion, and I've been with them ever since. Really, I'm still there. They are. And, you know, from starting to walk in there and decided to pick up a tea towel and help in the soup kitchen and just been embraced by by the sisters there and and, you know, it was a 22 way thing, a two way love and a two way support that I was getting from there. They were like a family and then becoming a director on the board and becoming, you know, helping with the, um, celebrations and just getting involved in there and at the same time doing things in the in the in the wider gay community, you know, the Dragon boats. Um, all the little things that go on the, uh, the council advisory committees. Um, yes, it's forming my own group, FM. And now, just, uh, a very, very new group of, um my wife and I have just launched was this, you know, just forever evolving and forever looking at things that first interest me and think, Yeah, I can offer some help. I even do work for voluntary New Zealand. So, you know, whatever comes through? Yeah, a good variety of stuff. Yeah, a good variety. Yeah. And do you find yourself having to do a lot of education? Kind of 101101 with people you meet or are people kind of clued up these days or I? I do some I. I prefer to leave that to people who love to do that. So I still have a tendency to be a little bit. I am naturally shy. It's in our family that we're naturally shy people who don't really like to, um to stand up and talk, and I've actually inherited that gene. So I do prefer to leave that to people who are good at that. And there's quite a There's so much talent actually in our community to do that work. But I will put my hand up and do it once in a while. You know, behind the scenes, I'm a I am a behind the scenes person. I've just finished doing a course, Um, a diploma of management advanced. And one section there, we actually had to find our our strengths and our skills and what came out. I was the only one in the entire class that had the, um the skill where I was. I led from the back. Yeah, and I didn't like the front and the limelight. And so I'm actually true to who I am as a person. Yeah. So what are your thoughts on? I guess I don't know if it's even a good term, but the the wider kind of trans guy community now, is it? Is it more common? Is it is it easier getting easier for people to to be who they are? Or? Well, I hope it is. Um, I hope that it's wide enough and and and and diverse enough for anybody out there to feel that they can walk through the door and feel comfortable to actually come forward because I know it's takes a lot of energy. Just to walk through that door takes a lot of energy to even acknowledge that you need to consider that. So they the the our people need to to feel that they will be respected when they walk through those doors and and the wider the better. I say I mean, I get educated every day, you know a new term will come through and it's like, Oh, I haven't heard that before. Wicked. What does that mean? And when it's explained, I'll go. OK, fair enough, and I've been educated ever since Day one, when I knew who I was to not think it's just my my type that there's so many different, Um uh, terminologies and so many different characteristics that individuals own. And just as much as you know, people might say, like me. Oh, that's different. Well, they might think I'm different, so it's again a two way thing. So it's about respecting that and hoping that the door is wide enough and if it's not, make it wider choice. So we've got the out games coming out. I know that, Um because you and me were at the when I can't remember what year 2008 and in Melbourne and you played tennis. What are you planning on playing? Is it next year next year? Um, yeah, and I love that. That was, like, the first time ever I've done something like that. Yeah, I've never done anything like that. And I remember he used to play. That was just playing sports at this level, just playing sports, you know, and just playing sports for a team, but not going out on my own and taking off overseas and taking part in a in A. And I only did that because the spokesperson from the games came over and visited our group and spoke out there, and I wasn't I didn't think anything of it. I was never going. And when he spoke, I just turned around to my wife and said, Can I go? And she says, Of course she can go. OK, what am I gonna do? She says, Well, go play tennis. Oh, OK, then I hadn't played for like 20 years. Um, when I was, you know, in the army and stuff. So um Because I I had stopped playing sports because of all the surgeries I'd taken, I'd done and in order to just, um, help my body heal and just take care of myself. I just didn't play any sports as such, So I thought, OK, and she went and bought me a racket, so I Yeah, I decided, Yeah, I'm gonna go to this to this games thing over in Australia. And it was quite funny because I think I was the fattest contestant there. There was about 245 contestants of three grades because I didn't even belong to a club and I was never trained. They put me in the C grade and I didn't have a partner, so they had to put my name in a hat and mix me with other strangers. So I thought, Oh, this is This is a bit of a hard case, so I'll go along with it and I came home with two medals. I came home with a bronze medal for the for the singles and a silver medal for the doubles. So I thought, Oh, I got a fat head on that. That's why I want to play tennis again. This, you know, going to play again and tell us about, um we had a bit of a what was it a performance or a bit of an ex? And not only did I go to play tennis, we did the main stage opening night with, like, six of us. And, like, literally thousands of pairs of eyes watching us at this grand opening of the first ever, Um, Asia Pacific Out games. And we had to take our tops off. So not only the ladies didn't. Well, not only was IK Oh, yeah, the ladies didn't. Of course it was the boys in the hacker. Not only was I curing myself, I thought they could have warned me. I could have lost a bit of weight. So here I am. Full screen, No top fat ass trying to do the hacker. Oh, my gosh. I'll never forget that in the hurry. Yeah, that was pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah. He thinks he's petty for sharing with us. And good luck for the tennis next year. Thanks. The full transcription of the recording ends. A list of keywords/tags describing the recording follow. These tags contain the correct spellings of names and places which may have been incorrectly spelt earlier in the document. The tags are seperated by a semi-colon: 1980s ; Australia ; LGBT ; Pacific ; People ; Peri Te Wao ; Rotorua ; Space ; Stuff ; Tokyo ; Wellington ; army ; board ; change ; choice ; class ; coming out ; communication ; community ; compassion ; council ; education ; energy ; expression ; face ; family ; fat ; friends ; gay ; haka ; hat ; hell ; hit ; hope ; hospital ; journey ; leaving home ; lesbian ; love ; mainstream ; military ; mirror ; other ; performance ; poverty ; profile ; queer ; reading ; regrets ; relationships ; respect ; shopping ; sport ; straight ; submission ; support ; tennis ; time ; top ; trans ; transgender ; transition ; transport ; understanding ; volunteer ; women ; work. The original recording can be heard at this website https://www.pridenz.com/peri_te_wao_profile.html. The master recording is also archived at the Alexander Turnbull Library in Wellington, New Zealand.  For more details visit their website https://tiaki.natlib.govt.nz/#details=ecatalogue.1089146. Peri Te Wao also features audibly in the following recordings: "Rainbow Pride Community Honours (2015) - Part 3". Please note that this document may contain errors or omissions - you should always refer back to the original recording to confirm content.