The title of this recording is "International AIDS Candlelight Memorial (2018)". It was recorded in Tararua Tramping Club, 4 Moncrieff Street, Mount Victoria, Wellington on the 20th May 2018. This is a recording of an event and features the voices of Bruce Kilmister, Eric Evans, Glacer Tormis, Heather Sangster-Smith, Jane Bruning, Karen Ritchie, Kay'la Riarn, Kjel Griffiths, Lee Eklund, Phil Rogers, Rev Roger Pym, Steve McVey, Trudie and Tīwhanawhana. Their names are spelt correctly, but may appear incorrectly spelt later in the document. The duration of the recording is 1 hour and 13 minutes, but this may not reflect the actual length of the event. A list of correctly spelt content keywords and tags can be found at the end of this document. The content in the recording covers the decades 1980s through to the 2010s. The audio recording begins:  To that guy. No kidding. I is. Yeah. And good day here. Yeah, 50 50. Yeah, It it my king, my kid. Amazing. Yeah. Why do I? Mhm king of Oh, 50 50. It's it Mhm my hair. But I do that market. Is that OK? My. I hear the thank you. Um just some words to start with as surely as we belong to the universe. We belong together. We join here to transcend the isolated self to reconnect, to know ourselves, to be at home here, on earth, onto the stars linked with each other. The international AIDS Candlelight memorial is much more than just a memorial. The International AIDS Candlelight memorial serves as a community mobilisation campaign to raise social consciousness about HIV and AIDS. The memorial serves as an important intervention for global solidarity, breaking down barriers of stigma and discrimination and giving hope to new generations. Leadership by people living with HIV and those affected by HIV is an important part of the international AIDS Candlelight memorial, along with education and social interaction. And now we've got the MP S all their letters. Anyway, um, the Governor General's one is going to be read by Jane, I think the message for the AIDS candlelight this evening New Zealanders are joining people around the world to honour friends and loved ones who have lost their lives to AIDS. We remember those who championed the cause of people living with HIV and AIDS, campaigning for research, support and effective treatment. We remember also the scientists, the medical professionals whose dedication was delivered a better prognosis for people living with HIV or AIDS, and enabled them to plan a future with confidence. We celebrate that progress, but we cannot afford to be complacent. We owe it to those who lost their battle with AIDS to provide and promote conversations about safe behaviours across all our communities. I wish everyone associated with advocacy, support and education about HIV and AIDS all the very best with this vital work from the right honourable dame Patsy Reddy, Governor General of New Zealand and also the, um, patron of New Zealand AIDS Foundation. Thank you. Thank you. Now, from the Labour Party, uh, Grant hasn't magically appeared like he normally does each year. So Philip Rogers, I think, is going to read that one. Is that right? My apologies. I'm not as handsome as Grant and not as making as much money. But I'm here. Um, I've got the speech here. It's on behalf of the Labour Party to Body Positive Positive Woman, the New Zealand AIDS Foundation and all those who help organise these events and undertake the important work on HIV and AIDS. We thank you. Each year on this occasion, our minds turned to the people of our generation who were young men and women as the world became aware of AIDS and who did not survive until their middle age. We mourn for them and we think of their friends and families who saw them die from a disease which we did not fully understand. Events like this and symbols like the quilts that have been made around the world are our public memorial to what we also deeply felt. Private losses to those friends and family. Please know that your loved ones are remembered as the decades have passed. We have learned far more from HIV and a I DS. But still there was much more to do. The theme of this year's international AIDS Candlelight memorial reflecting on our past and preparing for the future around the world. 33 million people are living with HIV today through international solidarity, access to medicines, education and reducing stigma. We can rid the world of HIV and AIDS here at home at New Zealand, the New Zealand found out AIDS Sorry New Zealand AIDS Foundation have launched the ending HIV campaign at Labour. We are proud to have signed the New Zealand Labour Party up to that campaign on the big day out in February 9, 2017. This is an ambitious campaign to end transmission of HIV by 2025. We can do this together with the combination of safe sex education and practise early and regular testing and access to medicines including PR EP Prep. We can stop the transmissions but it is a big ask and one that all of us have to support with long term dedication and commitment. You have that from the Labour Party. We will support your efforts. We also acknowledge tonight we hope those who are living with HIV living with a chronic illness is tough but more so with HIV, there is still significant stigma attached to positive people. We can only break that down by talking and listening. As one positive person has said, you can live with the virus but the stigma will kill you emotionally. We encourage all of you to talk about HIV. That is the only way we can fight the stigma. So to all of those living with HIV, we acknowledge you your courage and we will give you support. So all of us on this international AIDS can candlelight Memorial Day join together and say For the sake of all those who have gone before we can end HIV and AIDS together, Eric will bring us words of wisdom from the National Party. Sorry, I couldn't resist saying that it's reasonably short and sweet too. But, uh, so I'm here to read a message on behalf of the National Party. Um, this this year's theme for the memorial reflecting on our past preparing for our future is particularly important after Pharmac announced funding for prep through the drug Truvada, which provides protection to prevent HIV infection. The accessibility of this drug will significantly help reduce the prevalence of HIV in New Zealand. Though HIV infection rates in New Zealand are low compared with other countries, we've got to continue to do more. National supports the New Zealand AIDS Foundation's aspiration to make New Zealand HIV free by 2025. That was the message Oh um, and now will bring words of wisdom from the Green Party to everyone attending the International AIDS memorial. This provides a special opportunity to pause, reflect and remember those we have lost to HIV A. I DS The Green Party joins you all of this community of collective remembrance. The last few years have unfortunately seen a rise in people being diagnosed with HIV. We still desperately need help promotion work happening to ensure that people know the risks faced. We must remain remain vigilant to HIV AIDS and the hope that the people do not continue to suffer unnecessarily as treatments improve and people's quality of life continue to improve. Let us not forget the many talented and beautiful people we have lost too soon in this pandemic. We wish to acknowledge all of those that have stood by their friends on often painful journeys that can be a long and lonely path, and a many people living with HIV A. I DS have been gay or bisexual men who have faced in double jeopardy of prejudice associated with their illness and sexual orientation. The Green Party is proud to have always taken a strong stand against prejudice and to have played a role in making things better. We will continue this needed work. We will remain committed to working towards a world without prejudice and seeing people get medical and social support that HIV aids sufferers need and the memory of those taken to soon in the green Party. Yeah, I like to call on Heather San Smith, member of positive Women. Uh, member of the Positive Speakers Bureau. Heather lives above Wellington Harbour and enjoys people and solitude and equal measure. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? Um, I'm really, really feel quite privileged to be able to stand here. Um, I'm standing on the shoulders of many of our our forebears from the eighties and nineties, very conscious that we're here to to honour their memory. I would like to honour the women who were our pioneers. These women were the mothers, the daughters, the wives, positive women who got together in the eighties and nineties and looked after each other. Their sons were dying a lot of them and they needed support. The mothers who said he is my son and I love him. I also want to honour the women who worked at our voluntarily and on the payroll. Way back, Um, I've got Trish McBride with me today who is one of the early pioneers who worked alongside many other women and looking after the mothers and the women and the positive women and, of course, the young men who were dying. One particular woman who I'd like to honour today. Some of you may remember sister Paula Brett Kelly. She died 10 years ago, and I would like to honour her. I never met her, but I did correspond with her. I wrote to her her religious order recently, telling them about this particular event, and a sister wrote back who was one of Paula's compatriots. And she said, You'll do well with Paula breathing her spirit with you. She went to a in in 1987. She marched in, apparently and see What can I do? They were a little bit taken aback by this feisty little nun who, um, was there to help and roll up your sleeves. She was willing to learn. She was willing to listen and to respect. But she was also there to companion anyone who was affected by HIV and the dying. She would sit by bedsides along with the other woman who worked with her. She became an advocate and an educator went on to the Human Rights Commission. She felt that her calling was to the people, her people and the margins, because she believed that's where her God dwelt Paula's message to the volunteers who came to a and said, What can we do? She said, Get in there and do some loving She also said famously, My God is gay and I'm going to add my God as HIV, positive and beautiful. Trish wrote a poem for the Mothers Way back in 91. I'm going to read part of the poem to you. She wrote it for the mothers that she was companion, and she also made part of the quilt Son, I conceived you in joy, but not for this. For nine months I bore you, but not for this played with you laughed with you, but not for this encouraged. You kissed you better, but not for this times of peace and pain, of loss of gain. Not this but somehow in this crazy, screaming grief a still point of tiny light exists as I begin somehow to see inevitably of who you most deeply were called you to this time you could not do otherwise. Then be true to yourself, my son. I understand it was for this. So how can we honour each other? We honour our past. The only way we can honour our future is to live in the now we are the now we are the here and now and the future and people living with HIV is at the heart of it all. I believe that in putting down good foundations we have to be kind. Invite kindness, give kindness Be kind to yourself. You are honoured. You are worthy of love and kindness. Sickened something which I've had to go through. Name my HIV. Is your HIV a monster? A green alien invading your body? Are you frightened of your monster? Is HIV your friend? Your companion is HIV. Just part of who you are. Is your HIV a gift? How we define ourselves is crucial. How we define our HIV is also crucial. Thirdly, in terms of honouring today, yesterday and tomorrow is love and love drives out fear, stigma and hate. OK, so let's honour our past, present and future. I'd like to leave you with a quote from a priest who lived in the 20th century who struggled with love. He was troubled until he found out what love really meant. And he especially learned to love himself. His name was Henry New New. This is what he said. Love asks us to go where it hurts to enter into the place of pain, to share and Brokenness fear, confusion and anguish. Love means full immersion in the condition of human beings. In a world so torn apart by anger and hatred, we have the privileged calling and ability to be living signs of a love that can bridge all divisions and heal all wounds. Thank you. Thank you. And now Bruce Bruce Kilmister. For over 20 years, Bruce Kilmister headed Body Positive Inc. A peer support organisation which provides care, support and information for people living with HIV. A. I DS Bruce retired from his position as CEO at the end of 2014 but continued until April this year. As chairman of the board, he leaves the organisation in good standing, both structurally and financially. Bruce also is a founding and life member of the New Zealand AIDS Foundation. Oh, thank thank you, Roger. That's very kind words. Um, like, called events. When I'm asked to speak about something, I've got no idea what I'm going to say. So, um, I had to reflect really hard on what to say today, and it's I took the title reflecting on our past and preparing for our future. I can reflect on our past, but I'm not sure I've got a lot of future left, but we'll try and do our best reflecting on the past. I want you to look at me and think of me 30 years ago and certainly 30 kg later, and you'll get an idea that, um, what sort of lifestyle I was a young gay man starting to enjoy my life. But in the early eighties, we had heard about this terrible disease called the AIDS disease, or Or or the gay disease, to begin with, mainly from America, where it was killing our communities across there, and we were, um, really concerned about what we were hearing at that time. We were a criminalised population of the gay community. We didn't want to say anything or poke our heads above the parapet, because again, that could result in all sorts of actions against us. Loss of employment, loss of accommodation, etcetera. Um, occasionally you'd hear a splurge in the media about the death of a film star Rock Hudson, which would shake everybody up. Or then later, a a rock star, Freddie Mercury. And again, people were concerned more and more, we heard about a young man called Bruce Burnett who came back from America with this HIV disease. He lobbied the Ministry of Health. And, uh, we had quite an enlightened, uh, officials in those days, and they acknowledged that they could not access the gay community, which was virtually an underground criminalised community. So they agreed to support the establishment of the New Zealand AIDS Foundation, and I was delighted to be part of that founding board and to have that set up, uh, the fights and the struggles we had I were just so many. I can't begin to tell you about them all. Um But our first efforts when we were told we were not to be political, was in fact we were political. We wanted to support a Wellington member of Parliament, Fran Wilde, in establishing her homosexual law reform bill. It took 18 months of real fight to get that through, and I can only call what we had against us lobbied against us was a massive, very wealthy, rich religious order. The bill passed in 1986 and of course, the parties that followed that day and night. I can tell you were just something quite amazing. But it was not easy. It was at a cost. In this country we've lost over 750 people have died to AIDS or an AIDS related illness. It seems light and it is light compared to what we saw in America, where over 650,000 men have died from AIDS, mostly gay men. That's hard to fathom that number. But if you add up the number of Americans that have died in World War One, World War Two, the Korean War, the Vietnamese war, Iraq, Iran add them all together and still more men have died from AIDS in America and the great political fuss that went on with those other issues, particularly Vietnam. But society mostly ignored gay men. President Reagan couldn't even bring himself to say the word aids. So the fight was done for us, mostly offshore. But here it was also a fight, uh, to get on. And although medication maintains the health of most of us today, there are those that it cannot work for. I lost a partner because simply the medication just would not work. In the early days, the side effects were so horrendous he preferred the alternative. But for me, I was wanting it out of the test tube out of the laboratory so I could hang on there. Um and, uh, it's worked well for me. So again, I want to say briefly reflecting on the past. It's been the best of times and the worst of times. The best of times were an amazing response by our community, one of overwhelming love and support, particularly in support of those who weren't going to live longer. And this is what this event is about. For me, it's coming to remember those who have gone, who have gone before us and to have a moment of thought for them because they fought and paid the price for what we have today. A better place. And again for those coming through today, they've got treatment and medication that will keep them well and alive and medication that will stop the infection. So we're not far from getting through this pandemic. But again, today is about remembrance and reflecting on the past and for the future. Well, I've got a pretty good one mapped out for me too. Whatever is left. Thank you very much for your time. Thank you, Bruce. I like to call on Trudie. Excuse me if I've said it wrong, they didn't give me a a practise of that before I saw it first became interested in public health because of the HIV epidemic in sub Saharan Africa. As an undergrad student, Trudie conducted research on ending mother to child transmission of HIV in Tanzania. Over the course of her career, Trudie has had leadership roles in the health care space at private and nonprofit health care organisations. It's a real pleasure and an honour to be here And not only am I here on behalf of the New Zealand AIDS Foundation. But my friends, neighbours and family in the New York City, New Jersey and Philadelphia Metro area who have been impacted by HIV and also the friends and family in sub Saharan Africa. Um, and I'm gonna try not to tear up because as Bruce was speaking, I was thinking back, um, to the people, to the neighbours, Um HIV and AIDS is arguably the greatest public health challenge of our generation. In 2016 alone, we saw 1. 8 million new HIV infections worldwide, of which 244 came from New Zealand. While this sounds like a low figure in comparison to the global total, it is our highest number ever and far too high for a high income country with free access to prevention. Over 37 million people are now living with HIV around the world, and each year around 1 million people still die of AIDS related illnesses. Since the start of the epidemic, we've lost over 35 million of our brothers and sisters to the virus. The world is now committed to ending the AIDS epidemic by 2030 and the theme of this year's memorial is reflecting on our past preparing for our future. The extraordinary accomplishments of the last 15 years, both in increasing access to HIV treatment, um in the developing world and reducing AIDS mortality have inspired global confidence that the target is an achievable one. Over the last year in New Zealand, we have seen exciting developments, which we anticipate will soon lead to a drop in infection rates. After more than three decades, we have managed to maintain one of the lowest adult HIV prevalence rates in the world. This has been achieved through consistent promotion of condom use to prevent HIV and STIs community development. Strong government partnerships work to eliminate HIV stigma, support for human rights and effective public health legislative change. Today the epidemic is comparatively small and concentrated than, and it is in this context that the potential to reduce, halt and then reverse and end new HIV transmissions is a real possibility. At the same time, annual diagnoses have been rising at an alarming rate for six years. The opportunity to turn this around lies in the fact that the world of HIV prevention has been through nothing short of a revolution. Recent scientific breakthroughs supported by real world evidence have demonstrated that treatment based prevention can complement existing condom promotion efforts to drive down new HIV infections. We know, for example, that the risk of serious illness or death is 57% lower among people living with HIV treated early compared to those where treatment is delayed. We also know now that if people living with HIV are able to achieve and maintain an undetectable viral load for more than six months, HIV is not transmitted during unprotected sex. It's for this reason that NZAF campaigned for the removal of the threshold for treatment access and we applaud pharmac decision. This decision was in line with all the scientific evidence and the World Health Organisation. This year we saw the funding of prep or pre exposure prophylaxis, the daily medication taken by people who are HIV negative in order to reduce their risk of HIV infection. We know that prep is extremely effective at preventing HIV transmission and we've seen success in other countries. We often compare ourselves to England, Australia and the US. We anticipate that this funding will have an immediate effect on HIV infection rates in New Zealand, and look forward to seeing the 2018 figures hopefully go down in the context of treatment based prevention, we must, of course, continue to promote condoms as the most effective prevention tool for HIV and STIs at the population level, maintaining high rates of use that 30 years of community based health promotion and social marketing has achieved. We must also significantly significantly increase the level of HIV testing for those most at risk and finding the estimated 600 to 750 people living with HIV in New Zealand, but who don't know it. The 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development, an agenda which New Zealand must report its progress against, is underpinned by the values of inclusion, equity and social justice. If, as a sector in A we can live these values, if we can secure the highest levels of government commitment if we can inspire, mobilise and work alongside key impacted communities, if we can collaborate through innovative and progressive cross sector initiatives. If we can successfully challenge HIV stigma and discrimination and provide better support to people living with HIV, then we can end the transmissions. New transmissions of HIV in New Zealand There is much to be done for today. Let us collectively honour, celebrate love. And remember the people who have come before us. We have over 30 years of learnings to reflect upon and learn from. And so we leave here tonight as we leave here tonight, let us commit to ourselves that we will do everything in our power to prepare for a future without AIDS. Thank you. Now we're going to hear from Glazer. Thomas. I hope I've said that right too. Glazer was born in the Philippines now living and working in New Zealand. He is here today to share his experience. Hello, everyone. My name is Glazer. I arrived in New Zealand two years ago from the Philippines. During my time in New Zealand, I met this very wonderful man who is positive. When we spoke about his HIV status, I was shocked and somewhat disillusioned because all I knew was the pain and suffering I had seen in the Philippines. The public health system in the Philippines is overcrowded and, um, funding is limited. So I only thought of the worst. But my partner explained to me that through taking his medications, he could not pass on the HIV virus. Um, I learned a lot about my partner that day as it took him a lot of courage to tell me I was proud and loved him even more, even though I still had some interfere. I believe the name today. I understand and, uh, feel we need to do more in spreading the message of hope through you equals you and sharing our experiences. I think it is important to receive voluntary HIV testing and counselling as a couple or as an individual. You will receive your results and, um, share your status with the support of a counsellor. A range of prevention, treatment and support options can then be discussed and decided upon together. Um, thank you for letting me share my experiences. And I say to all those here today to continue to encourage and educate spreading the message of hope and understanding. And now Karen Ritchie. No problem saying that name Karen Ritchie, known as Mama Karen, set up the Trust in Auckland as a support network for those dying from HIV and AIDS. Karen is involved with the Under 35 Positive Support Group. Karen also works alongside body positive and the NZAF and many other community based support networks while also holding a full job, full time job in the health sector. First, I'd like to say a huge thank you to Wellington for having me here today to say a few words about our dear friend Vic, who passed away last year. Since the eighties, I've had many friends who we've lost and passed away through, um HIV AIDS and it's always and everyone is a huge loss to us all. Um, Vic, a man of great knowledge, manner and wisdom. And I understand last year from Ron that, um, he was here carving up the ham and participating and helping in the kitchen. He was a busy young bee, wasn't he? So that's that was great that he, um, supported always body positive. I first met VIP, probably 25 30 years ago. I really can't put a time limit on that, he said to Davina. And who is this woman that you call Mama I? I want to meet her. So they brought him around to home and I had an apartment in Kay Road and I don't know, from that day on, we just clicked and had the most amazing, amazing friendship. And that grew to a strong love and respect over all those years. He was very, very protective of me. Those who knew Vic, you would know that he didn't suffer fools well. And if somebody was disrespectful or whatever to somebody he loved and cared about, they faced the consequences of his the wrath of his mouth one way or another. And that was certainly our vic. Um, just I'll go to AAA Funny moment. For a moment, it's not funny to begin with. Um, some years ago now there was Vic, myself and Natasha Allen, who has since passed away from cancer a few years ago. There's a group of us standing outside, um, Carmo having a drink and etcetera, etcetera. And this car drove past and unbeknown to us at the time, it had begun things, as you know, that were firing pallets. And, of course, as it went past, Vic, um, got one inside of the face. So I took him to the toilet. And, um, you know, we pushed that out of his face with a bullet, and, um, I said to him, We need to ring the police on this vic. And I said to the staff, Can you ring the police? We ring the police. Well, Vic and police was up, you know? But I said to him, that could have been your eye. And they could It could somebody else could, you know, lose an eye from doing this. So it became a standing joke later on, um, with Vic, he'd say, Oh, yeah, I had Nata, these two witches Nata, Natasha and mother beside me. And not one of the bitches could save me. And they were the witches of, you know, it was a standing joke with him about the bullet and the cheek. And then another night he wanted to. He used to stay with me or Jordan when he came up from from Wellington. And, um, one night he rang me and there was something happening and he said I should have come up. I should have come up. He always called me darling. He said I should have come up, darling. I knew I should have. And I said, Well, you know, come up. It was It was a Friday night. I think it was a Friday afternoon and whatever it was was happening on Saturday. And I've got a niece that lives in Martin and has a, um uh, one of those businesses. Those trailer hauling overnight thingies. And I said to Vic, Look, I'll get my niece and that get you on the truck. Comfortable big truck to come up. I said, um, you just gotta get to palmy. So anyway, my niece actually bought him a ticket to palmy. We organised that. And then she went over and picked him up at Palmy and took him back to her place in Martin until the truck left. And, um, anyway, I went over to G a in Auckland to pick him up when when the truck came there. And, of course, I had Maj. On. I'm not getting dressed for nobody. It's three o'clock in the morning, so I've got maj on no makeup looking like shit, you know? And he gets in in in the, um, car, and he's cracking up laughing. He said, Oh, my God, he's he I don't think I've ever seen you look like that. So, you know, we we just had some wonderful laughs and times and and shared so many personal um, parts of our life that I would never repeat of Of how he's trusted me with. And I would never He was He was a very proud man. He actually passed away on my birthday last year, the my 65th birthday on the 28th of August. And for me, that just gives me a bond of a lifetime bond. I miss this man. I truly miss this man. And I hadn't really grieved for him until maybe about three or four weeks ago when I was at Charlie Peter's house with Lance and it and I just lost it. I couldn't control my grief. And and I thank Charlie and that for bringing that out or letting me bring that out. Um, I really need to acknowledge Bruce and Ron, and I say this from his mouth. He loved and respected you, and he always said that to me. Always. The love he had for you both was immeasurable. Roger. He always said that he was very, very grateful for all the help that you gave him through his journey with winds or housing. And all of the So he acknowledges you too. Um, I know he's a big loss to a lot of people. And I'm sorry I wasn't gonna tear up. I'm trying not to. So I'm really not going to, um, go much further into this because I think we all know how we feel about it. But a friend sent me this. He Googled something. He was looking for something in a card. Everywhere I seem to go lately, I see Vic and he was googling this and he sent it to me. Now it's blown up, and it's not very good, because it's you can't really read it. But his face And there's a verse here and that popped up on Google. And I'm going to read this verse because it's very I think appropriate. So I finish my chat and I thank you again Wellington, for having me here. What? This is the verse. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. We love you, Vic. Um, there's some support agencies mentioned here. Body positive, positive women and NZAF. Um, I wonder if the spokes person mentioned for each of us would like to come forward and say a few words about what we do, what they do. Thank you. Um, my name is, um, Steve McVeigh. I think I know most people here. I've met people before. Um, I'm a counsellor and private practise here in Wellington, And, uh, I work mostly with, um LGBT people and people living with HIV. Um, but normally in smaller groups and so talking in front of people When I was asked to do this, my stomach turned. So forgive me. Um, so and I'm also living with HIV myself. Um, I'm also a peer support navigator for body positive. Um, And so, um, support for people living in Wellington has kind of trans transformed over the past few years. And it's largely been a result of, um, a RT medications turning what has What was a manageable illness into a chronic condition, the mindset of body positive and other agencies around the world? Is that what what they've taken is to treat HIV not as, uh, AIDS victims need only primary help, such as winds and housing, et cetera. Although that is still a really important part and component of support, but rather to treat HIV as any other normalised chronic condition and to empower people to be in control of their own lives. And so, essentially moving from a handout philosophy to what I've been empowered to step up and be part of the decision making process for services that are supposed supposed to be there to support us. Um, and this is a guide in in line with principles and guidelines set out by UN aids of GPA, which is greater involvement of people living with HIV and a IS, uh, MP A, which is meaning involvement of meaningful involvement of people living with HIV and a I, and also which is meaning involvement of women living with HIV and AIDS. I shouldn't forget that one, Jane. Um but they're really important and, um and they made a big difference as well. Um also that there is a free, cheaper audit which any organisation that offers support for HIV is welcome to undertake. And I think it would be really helpful to see a few more organisations taking up that opportunity. And Well, um, you know, in New Zealand, um so with any transition from a kind of step up or kind of hand out to step up kind of, uh, platform for support. It hasn't been without us hiccups. Uh, but I think you know, especially in Wellington. Now, we've seen some really exciting things happen. Um, there are a few support options available in Wellington. So aside from my counselling service plug, um um, NZF also offer some limited counselling for people living with HIV they and friends affected by HIV. Um, but it's body positive that have already taken the lead in developing and providing peer support pathways for, um, people living with HIV. And it's peer support has proven to be the most effective way for people to come with, um, come to terms with their diagnosis and on their journey. And that's, um, you know, research, evidence based stuff. Um, so with how peer navigation works, I'm one of the peer navigators in Wellington, and I think they're looking for another one, actually. So if everyone's to do that and have a chat, but also, uh, So when somebody is newly diagnosed or at risk of dropping out of care, uh, they'll be referred to a peer navigator. Um uh, who is also living with HIV and can talk in an open and honest personal level of what it's like to live with HIV. So things like which pharmers are pharmacies are helpful and you know that kind of thing. Um, so it's essentially to normalise the experience of, um, how it is. I mean, physically, we're gonna be fine as long as we sustain or achieve and then sustain an undetectable viral load. The most damaging thing that affects us is the isolation and stigma. And, um and this can happen at any stage of the diagnosis or journey, even after years of living with HIV. Um, this isolation stigma is something we all too often get used to that er rather than stand up to. And it's something that we often don't even recognise anymore. So that's something we should it help helpful to be reminded of. So from a few meetings with the Navigator, what tends to happen is that person will become more comfortable with their status and then feel comfortable enough to meet other local people living with HIV and come along to one of our, um, body deposited monthly meetups. So this is on the third Tuesday of every month, every month, and we get a chance to, uh, kind of socially catch up. There'll be a topic we discuss or someone is invited to present on a topic, and then we'll head out for some delicious and cheap dumplings. Um, So when I started this group two years ago, um, for the first three or four months, there were two or three of us at each meeting. And and now there's 35 that come along. Um, so it's been a really successful kind of thing. People are valuing connection. Um, so from this group, there are other activities and events that people can go on to now that they have a supportive and understanding base. Um, such as the Positive Speakers Bureau, which is and are governed by positive women, Um, and also the PO Positive Leader Leadership Development Programme. So many acronyms in this sector, um, and both of these trainings are really incredible enriching weekends, and people often go on from those things to do some really amazing things in the community. A group of the Wellington PLD I graduates recently started Project Toto. I haven't said that right. Sorry. Thank you. And, um and so this this is a project that is its aim is to record publish and archive stories of long term survivors with a focus on local and aotearoa stories. This project was inspired by similar long term survivors projects one happening in the world in San Francisco called Let's Kick Ass. I'm not being rude. It's AIDS Survivor syndrome, Um, and which was started by a San Francisco based long term survivors group who, while suffering from AIDS Survivor syndrome, were witnessing their stories being eradicated from the public record within their own lifetime, which is clearly not OK. Um, so all of these services groups and projects provide support for people living with HIV, and it's really great that newly diagnosed people are now getting into the support straight away. Um, it's important to remember that quite often it's people living with HIV who have had had it for a long time and kind of just get on with it. Um, who can be at most risk of isolation and internalised stigma and even dropping out of care? And as we've seen, there can be some pretty devastating repercussions when that happens. And so when I I you know, I get a little concerned when I hear people say I don't need support, you know, because you know, I used to say that as well. Um, there are also other online platforms for support, such as the institute of many, or Tim, which is another PLD. I graduate, Um, started that one. And also positive kiwis, amongst others. Um, support to me means connection with somebody else or other people. And connection requires a kind of exposure of the self. And exposure is the antidote to stigma and isolation. And so wherever you are on your journey or where you're companion in somebody on a journey, then support can make a real difference on behalf of, uh, people living with HIV in Wellington. I'd like to thank James Rice, who's here somewhere and the ID team at the hospital and also Ron and Eric for organising today. Um, and also thanks for listening, listening to me today. And if anybody wants to get in touch about any of the services I spoke to, then please do come and say hello. Thank you. Hi. Um, I'm gonna talk about positive women. Positive women is a support organisation for women and families living with HIV. It was started in, um, in 1990. Um, at that time there were a lot of, um, gay men being diagnosed with HIV. And we started at the end of the eighties to see women being diagnosed. But there were no, um, facilities available, Really, that were women focused. And as a result of that, positive women were started. A lot of those women were that started the organisation Were women living with HIV and most of those women are no longer with us. And, um but I just really want to acknowledge those looking back at the past because it was because of those women that positive women are still here as an organisation. 28 years later, Um, you know, HIV, I'm gonna talk specifically about women because that's our focus. But, you know, if we look at the the earlier days of HIV, it wasn't called that it was called AIDS, and women in the earlier days were, um, encouraged to to abort their Children, um were encouraged not to have Children And what we've seen over the years because of the antiretrovirals that women are now able to have babies that are now not living with HIV. Um, now, with the, um also with the antiretrovirals and the new equals. You, um, able to have unprotected sex with a partner and have babies naturally before that, they used to use the old turkey based method or infertility and going to the fertility clinics. So there's been huge changes in that regard for women. And, um, I guess one thing I really want to focus. I'm only gonna do a very short talk because I know you're tired. It's the end of the evening nearly. But something that has been of huge concern for us is, um, in 2014, um, a woman called Tanya Booker. Um was in hospital. Uh, she was very, very sick. She had been sick for two years and she had been in and out of hospital, had lots of operations, had lots of blood tests. Um, and nobody could identify what was wrong with her. Finally, after, um, having PC P, one of the AIDS defining illnesses. She was, um, tested for HIV and was diagnosed as positive, and, um, was supposed to be OK. She's gonna get well, get rid of the PC P and, um, get onto antiretrovirals. Unfortunately, the PC P had ravaged her body so badly that she died. So five days later, at the same time, we also had another woman exactly the same time who spoke to you earlier this evening in hospital with pretty similar kind of conditions. Been sick for many, many years in and out of hospitals tested nobody thinking to offer an HIV test. Finally, for this woman. She was offered a test, um, and and survived. However, she has really, um, huge, um, complications as a result of that. So her life is no longer what it was before she was diagnosed. As a result, positive women has been campaigning, um, really strongly over the last few years to, um, ensure that the health profession offers tests for women because women are not seen to be a naturalist group. So it's really disheartening to hear that last year a woman was in hospital again and, um, in a coma. And finally they decided to give her an HIV test. Um and she was diagnosed with HIV and died three days later. So I think you know, for myself, uh, this is my 30th year of living with HIV. I'm not quite sure how I survived those days. Um, and when I was diagnosed, there were no medications. But when I think that you know these two women, three women, actually, um, one thankfully survived through that, but the other two dying in this day and age where there's absolutely no need for people to be dying. Um, the statistics show that, um, 46% of women are diagnosed with a CD four count, less than 300 76% of women with a CD four count, Um, below 500. For those of you who don't know what a CD four count is, that's basically your immune system. So the lower that count is, um the less healthy you are and and the more difficult it is to recoup. So I just wanna leave, um, with a message. Really? And I'd like everyone in the room if you can to really campaign in any any way that you can that, um, HIV testing be offered as a routine diagnostic process for anybody. Um, and including women in particular, There's no, you know, type. Anybody can contract HIV. So thank you very much for having me here. Cut. Everyone, wake up. OK, Vote for me. No. God, Don't vote for me. Uh, so, um, my name is Lee. I'm the community engagement coordinator at the New Zealand AIDS Foundation. Um so networking and supporting with other organisations plays a big part in my role. Uh, without the their support, we we wouldn't succeed at all. Um, not only organisations, but our wonderful community members, uh are, um are so important. Uh, without all, uh, without all of us together, uh, it would be impossible of reaching our goals to end in new HIV transmissions, uh, as well as destigmatize HIV within our communities. Uh, more so towards people living with IV by educating with the UVL and U equals U campaigns, which is coming out shortly. So watch this space. Um, in Wellington. Uh, the health services such as regional health and public health, uh, sexual health, needle exchange, uh, medical centres, uh, NZ PC and also with body positive when I use Wellington base. Uh, and many more. Uh, all have a close working relationship and has always been a massive supporter, which we are truly grateful, uh, within, uh, youth services and organisations such as, uh, vibe um evolve, uh, youth one. I have to say this slow youth, One stop shop. Is that right? Yes. Just yes. Uh, inside out outer spaces. Taranaki, Rainbow mal Directions, Directions. Youth services. Uh, youth services, trust Capital, youth services, Uh, to name a few, uh, to up their support is so important in forming, uh, our queer trends youth and students around HIV A I DS stigma and testing, uh, and our prevention strategies, especially with prep being more accessible. Uh, vic Uni, uh, mass welltech EIT. And you, um, universities are also great supporters and have had their collateral condoms and testing in their health services. Uh, rainbow, uh, venues such as S and MS, Ivy Bar, Fringe bar, uh, Phoenix Cafe and Unity Books, Uh, for their ongoing support throughout the years, Uh, and also Wellington's Rainbow support groups as well, um, our wonderful volunteer not forgetting our wonderful volunteers, uh, group that are continuously weekly supporting, packing condoms and distribute that get distributed around our regions, Uh, regional venues from TAA to Hawke's Bay, all the way down to Wellington, Uh, also supporting our sponsored events such as, uh, out in the park, uh, pride parade and World AIDS Day. Uh, and that's just to name a few, uh, thank you again for your support. We really can't do this without you. Killed her? Yeah. For those who don't know I am Kayla Rian. I was sitting over there ready to do a little speech. For some reason, I don't think it's, um right. So I'm going to just say how I feel. When we saw the names on the wall there, I realised I knew nearly half of those people. I was honoured and privileged to meet a man. 30 years ago, his name was Ta Donohue. Now he was HIV positive. He later come to the AIDS. But during his time of his illness, he did not sit idly by in silence and suffer. He went out, he took upon himself and he began a project which was the national people living with a union and magazine so he can give to those people like himself. Information regarding medications available. Um, safe living efficacy and support network. That was 30 years ago. Over the years, what was known as the NPL W a union has progressed, and today it is known as body positive. I'd like to give a big thank you to Bruce, who I have actually known for quite a number of years. But, um, to me personally, body positive is an outstanding organisation. Why? Some people might think I'm all on to body positive because they give back to those with HIV and a I DS what society and even some of our own communities have taken away love, understanding, compassion, guidance and hope. But most importantly, they gave him a voice. One of the most important things that they have given them back is dignity. I was very privileged, as I said before, to meet Donohue. Like Karen, who I've known for a few years, she mentioned something which could something can be. And, um, Mr Vick Burrell. I was with the for the last 24 hours. He was in hospital here in Wellington. I was his bodyguard. I ensure no one to when you want to rest. Bye. I took on the right. I took on the role of caregiver. I changed his bed linen. I changed his diapers. I took him for a sneaky smoke outside. Yeah, they gonna lock me up in the hospital, but, um, the whole thing over these years has become too much for me to sort of like cope with. I lost my brother many, many years ago when the virus was first around, but not really recognised. My brother. Some of you know him, his name was he used to live and work for unfortunately, back then, people could see the effects of when when you got the virus and you passing away. But I know because I could see I could the lesions on his arms under his skin. Um, I'm one of those silly people. It takes me a while to let go of my grief for anyone who's passed. But I remember See, back in back in the day, the candlelight memorial. It was like a grand event. Love, laughter, sadness, fond memories of those of our loved ones that we have lost. We shouldn't pick it that we should bring it back to how it was. This is not just us taking a few hours out of our day on a Sunday once in a while to show up and say, Yeah, we support. I am going to try and get the community to come together next year with my friends and we're gonna bring it back. How it was we had the quilt. Remember the quilt? Where is it? We owe our friends loved ones, brothers and sisters Dignity in death as we do in life. And that's how we should remember them with our fond memories of good time's head. And, you know, the last hugs and intimate moments shared. I mean, let let us not let the light burn out or fade away Let it burn even brighter in our hearts. Um, Bruce Body positive does a job. As I said before, they like the front line. We have great organisations who help promote. As my friend Leo has explained before, I'm actually the, um, one of the founding members for NZ PC. We distribute condoms. What have you We do our part? Um, we're all there to support, but I think a little bit more needs to be done. I noticed that over the years body positive was there in regards to people like Vic Bird. They gave him back everything. They gave him his dignity. He passed the way he wanted as though it was going to a coffee shop and having a coffee. Everything was done According to his wishes. There were no one there to say. You can't do this. You can't do that. But when push comes to shove on the last day when he was due to travel back from Wellington up to where he was with body positive that step forward, we'll pay for the transport. We'll arrange the ambulance to pick you up and so forth. From what I hear, it was an excellent um sorry for, you know, Excellent. Um, I suppose since I spent time writing this thing, I might as well read the last part. Yeah, yeah, I thought you like that one. OK, we must support the good work that that has been done by such groups like Body Positive and the The Candlelight Memorial was a grand event. Let us not always allow that light to fade, but to forever be brighter in our hearts. OK, I've got some words to say about now is a community group based in Wellington that welcomes people of diverse sexual and gender identity. Maori are the indigenous people of New Zealand in modern terminology. Is a Maori individual that identifies as queer, gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans the or purpose of the group is a prime is primarily for building its community, telling its stories and leaving a legacy that will expire inspire others exists for the community and gives meaning to its through different threads Advice, advocacy and support of L GP T I community we take this time to thank you for sharing and participating in this age International candlelight. Thank you. No, uh closing words May the road rise to meet you May the wind be always at your back May the sun shine warm upon your face The rains fall soft upon your fields And until we meet again May God hold you in the palm of her hand Amen. OK, thanks. The audio recording ends. A list of keywords/tags describing the recording follow. These tags contain the correct spellings of names and places which may have been incorrectly spelt earlier in the document. The tags are seperated by a semi-colon: 1980s; 1990s; 2000s; 2010s; Aotearoa New Zealand; Big Gay Out (Auckland); Body Positive; Bruce Burnett; Bruce Kilmister; Candlelight Memorials; Cartier Trust; Chrissy Witoko; Ending HIV (campaign); Eric Evans; Fran Wilde; Freddie Mercury; Glacer Tormis; Governor-General of New Zealand; Grant Robertson; Green Party; HIV / AIDS; HIV / AIDS; HIV education; HIV stigma; Heather Sangster-Smith; Homosexual Law Reform Act (1986); Human Rights Commission; James Rice-Davies; Jane Bruning; John Henry Newman; Karen Ritchie; Kay'la Riarn; Kjel Griffiths; Lee Eklund; NZAF Ā whina Centre; National Party; New Zealand AIDS Foundation (NZAF); New Zealand Labour Party; Patsy Reddy; Pharmaceutical Management Agency (Pharmac); Phil Rogers; Philippines; Positive Speakers Bureau; Positive Women Inc; PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis); Rev Roger Pym; Rock Hudson; Ron Irvine; Sister Paula Brettkelly; Steve McVey; Tararua Tramping Club; Tom O'Donoghue; Tonya Booker; Trish McBride; Trudie; Truvada; Tīwhanawhana; Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U, campaign); Victor Taurewa Biddle; Wellington; Work and Income (WINZ); abortion; activism; faith; homosexual; homosexual law reform; kindness; love; medications; memorial; peer support; women. The original recording can be heard at this website https://www.pridenz.com/international_aids_candlelight_memorial_2018.html. The master recording is also archived at the Alexander Turnbull Library in Wellington, New Zealand.  For more details visit their website https://tiaki.natlib.govt.nz/#details=ecatalogue.1089832. Please note that this document may contain errors or omissions - you should always refer back to the original recording to confirm content.