View From Middle-age (Press, 9 November 1987)

In a reflective commentary, Katharine Whitehorn explores the complexities of friendships and ideological beliefs as they evolve with age. She contrasts the radical idealism of youth with the more pragmatic, self-interested mindset that often accompanies growing older. Whitehorn argues that as people mature, they may distance themselves from their once-held high principles, favouring comfort over conviction, much like trading in high heels for more practical shoes. This transition tends to obscure the moral clarity that young people often claim to possess, as idealistic arguments are replaced with a more cautious approach to social interactions. The article suggests that while younger individuals might easily categorise others into notions of 'good' and 'bad', life experiences reveal the intricate nature of human character, illustrating that someone can be admirable in one context and objectionable in another. Whitehorn provides personal anecdotes from her time at the University of St Andrews, noting how friends active in social causes could simultaneously exhibit bigoted behaviours, highlighting the contradictions present even among those she once considered allies. A particularly striking example involves a family where a mother is saintly and a father patient, yet they support the far-right National Front. This paradox illustrates the discomfort and confusion that arises when we encounter individuals who hold detestable views but display admirable qualities. Whitehorn reflects on the American perception of political opponents, quoting a saying that underscores how unfamiliarity breeds unfounded stereotypes. She cautions against the danger of associating amiable behaviour with the acceptability of harmful beliefs. Good human behaviour does not absolve or validate pernicious ideologies. Whether discussing discussions around communism or wealth disparities, Whitehorn argues that people can uphold flawed beliefs despite their personal virtues. As an example, she analyses the motivations of the Greenham Common women advocating for disarmament, asserting that while their commitment might be genuine, their methods may not be effective or universally endorsed. Ultimately, Whitehorn concludes that while friends may hold misguided views, maintaining friendships may be worthwhile despite their ideological shortcomings. She warns that ideas are not inherently responsible for the individuals who endorse them and emphasizes the importance of discerning personal qualities from political beliefs. The piece serves as a thoughtful meditation on the interplay of ideology and friendship, suggesting that human complexity often defies simple categorisation.

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