Women Unhappy With Men (Press, 20 October 1987)

Shere Hite, a prominent figure in feminist sexual research, held a press conference in New Zealand to promote her latest study, “Women and Love: A Cultural Revolution in Progress.” In this new work, which is the final volume in the Hite Report trilogy, Hite surveyed 4,500 women, revealing troubling statistics about emotional dissatisfaction in love relationships. According to Hite, 84 per cent of respondents expressed overall dissatisfaction, while an astounding 95 per cent reported experiencing emotional or psychological harassment in their relationships with men. Despite the grim findings, Hite maintained a personal belief in love and optimism for women seeking fulfilling relationships. She noted that while there is considerable dissatisfaction, the current climate for women’s self-definition and defence in relationships has improved compared to previous decades. Hite insists that the issues women face are not due to personal failings or poor choices but are rooted in a patriarchal culture that perpetuates harmful stereotypes and treatment of women by men. She asserted that the majority of men hold these anti-women stereotypes, leading to a systemic problem that requires change from within. The study not only examines heterosexual relationships but also includes perspectives from lesbian respondents, with Hite reporting that 96 per cent of these women felt loved and treated as equals. Remarkably, 24 per cent of the surveyed lesbians had entered a same-sex relationship for the first time after the age of 40. Hite’s methodology, which has faced criticism for being unscientific, involved a diverse sample of women, including various racial and educational backgrounds. Critics argued that only those who are dissatisfied are likely to fill out surveys, but Hite defended her approach as a careful and significant attempt to capture women’s voices. At the press conference, Richard Halgin, a clinical psychologist, acknowledged that while he felt somewhat targeted by Hite's findings, he still found the book informative. Many women surveyed voiced feelings of frustration regarding their partners' inability to communicate openly about feelings, with some indicating that men often respond in condescending ways or become emotionally distant. A significant proportion of women—about 70 per cent—who had been married for five years or more admitted to having extramarital affairs, despite a belief in monogamy as an ideal. Hite expressed hope in the evolving attitude of women, who are increasingly willing to leave unsatisfactory situations rather than endure relationships devoid of dignity. Overall, Hite’s findings underscore significant discontent among women relating to men, while also highlighting a growing awareness and willingness among women to seek genuine love and respect in their relationships.

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