Manners Makeyth Woman If Men Are Polite Again (Press, 27 December 1986)

In a piece published in the London “Daily Telegraph” on 27 December 1986, John Gaskell reflects on the state of polite behaviour in contemporary society, particularly in Britain. He shares an experience on the London Underground, where he offered his seat to a woman carrying shopping, only to be met with her refusal and a frosty response. This incident leads him to ponder the ongoing struggle between traditional manners and a more brutal, modern reality. He references Reverend Ian Gregory, who has voiced similar concerns about declining civility. At a sermon in September in Newcastle under Lyme, Staffordshire, Gregory proposed the formation of a "Polite Society," aimed at combatting the increasing boorishness he perceives in society. His comments resonated with many who wrote to him, expressing relief that they were not alone in their disdain for the decline of manners and civility. Encouraged by the response he received, Gregory started a newsletter for the society, which garnered interest from over 600 individuals, including an entire primary school eager to formulate a junior code of courtesy. While Gaskell finds this initiative commendable, he critiques the Polite Society’s code of conduct for lacking a call for bravery, which he believes is necessary to uphold resolutions of courtesy. The code promotes values such as kindness, consideration, and chivalry but overlooks that bravery is often essential for maintaining these standards in a challenging environment. Gregory also shares his views on gender equality and manners, asserting that the push for equality among women might undermine their traditional roles of gentleness and compassion. He insists that courtesy must be maintained regardless of changing gender dynamics and suggests that women should be encouraged to embrace their unique qualities again. Gaskell, however, indicates that such comments may lack the proper nuance required in conversations about manners and civility. Overall, Gaskell's commentary captures a broader dialogue about the importance of politeness in society and the challenges faced in fostering such behaviour amidst evolving social norms. The discussion invokes both nostalgia for past structures of civility and a critique of present-day interactions, framing the quest for etiquette as a response to perceived societal decay.

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