An Apple Of Disobedience (Press, 5 October 1985)

"A Humming Under My Feet: A Book of Travail" by Barbara Deming, published in 1985 by Women’s Press, is a reflective work stemming from a journal the author maintained over two decades, from 1952 to 1972. The book captures Deming's introspections as she navigates her identity as a lesbian and her experiences with love and self-discovery. Deming's writing begins with a provocative quote inspired by the biblical Serpent, encouraging the pursuit of knowledge and self-awareness, suggesting that understanding one’s true self may lead to trouble but is ultimately worthwhile. The journal reflects a significant period in her life during the 1960s and early 1970s, a time when societal attitudes toward homosexuality were gradually evolving, offering a backdrop of both personal and broader cultural shifts, especially concerning women's liberation. In her travels across Europe, Deming particularly finds resonance with her experiences in Greece, where she feels a connection to a historical lineage of women. This sense of sisterhood fosters her belief in her freedom, in contrast to societal judgments that had been imposed upon her because of her sexual orientation. Throughout her journey, she struggles with the complexities of her love life, grappling with guilt associated with her romantic feelings for another woman. This tension highlights the internal conflict many individuals face when their desires challenge societal norms. Deming’s encounters with men are depicted with a sense of horror, not due to any physical repulsion, but rather because these experiences lack the emotional depth that she finds in her relationships with women. Her letters to her love interest encapsulate a mix of ardent observations of her surroundings and sentimental expressions aimed at rekindling their intimacy. These letters contribute to the narrative, blending travelogue with deeply personal reflections. The book is described as an important historical document that captures the evolution of women's consciousness during a transformative time in the Western world. It holds a universal appeal, where both men and women can appreciate the emotional and intellectual journey Deming undertakes, even if they are unable to fully resonate with the intricacies of her experiences. In summary, "A Humming Under My Feet" serves as a reflective exploration of identity, love, and liberation, marking a significant contribution to feminist literature and the discourse surrounding lesbian relationships during the latter half of the 20th century.

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