To Each, His Own (Press, 27 July 1985)

In a letter received on 27 July 1985, the author expresses a deep emotional connection with Joe, a young man known for his charming personality and vulnerability. Joe, who had a brief physical presence in the author's life, is remembered for his striking appearance and sensitivity, qualities that drew many to him, although he remained largely unaware of the attention he attracted. Joe's journey was marked by struggles with his health and self-acceptance, particularly in relation to his homosexuality. The author recounts their last encounter at a railway platform in Manhattan, where they shared a tender farewell while Joe clutched a bag of oranges, a gesture intended to ease his coughing. After parting ways, they promised to stay in touch through letters, which then became a source of deeper understanding of Joe’s life. He initially pursued computer studies but faced setbacks and managed to find work processing colour film. Unfortunately, Joe's health deteriorated when his cough escalated into pneumonia. In a heart-wrenching part of a letter, Joe reveals that he had tried to escape his overwhelming feelings by taking an overdose, leading to a grim realisation for the author that Joe’s struggles might have far-reaching consequences. The author highlights the challenges that come with Joe's homosexuality, even in a place like New York where such a lifestyle is accepted legally. They draw attention to the broader societal issues regarding the perception and treatment of homosexuals in New Zealand, particularly following the introduction of the Homosexual Law Reform Bill. The author conveys dismay over the intolerance and fear that has emerged in society, particularly a misconception that legalising homosexuality would lead to a surge in its acceptance among the general populace. They wish that those with such views could spend time with individuals like Joe to truly understand the realities of their lives. The author argues that legalising homosexuality would not eradicate prejudice nor guarantee happiness, but it would mark a significant step towards allowing people to live authentically. The letter reflects on the unfortunate increase in negative sentiment towards homosexuality due to the AIDS epidemic. However, the author emphasizes that legalisation is crucial for addressing and treating the issues faced by the LGBTQ+ community in the country. Ultimately, the author advocates for a progressive vision where New Zealand becomes a more accepting society, allowing individuals to be true to themselves and fostering a better environment for all its citizens.

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