The Varnish Becomes Thicker (Press, 23 April 1985)

In a commentary on the "Miss Universe New Zealand" pageant aired on 23 April 1985, Ken Strongman criticises the event's superficiality and the evolving cultural context that has shifted focus towards more pressing social issues, such as anti-nuclear movements and homosexual law reform. He notes that while these topics have taken centre stage, the pageant still garners attention, especially among women. The pageant was presented by TVNZ in collaboration with a manufacturer of beds that advertise a “biopaedic sleep system,” which Strongman describes as jargon that diminishes the event's credibility. Bob Parker hosted the show, but Strongman expresses surprise at his involvement, suggesting that even he was unable to elevate the proceedings. The contestants, averaging 18 years old but appearing older, are briefly introduced by their hobbies rather than their professional achievements, reinforcing Strongman’s view that the focus should be less on trivial interests and more on the contestants' personal accomplishments. The commentary reflects a broader concern about the objectification of women in such beauty contests, particularly as societal awareness raises questions about women’s roles and the exploitative nature of these pageants. The competition’s highlights, namely the swimsuit and cocktail dress parades, are criticized for their absurdity and lack of substance. The descriptions of the contestants' attire are laden with extravagant language, which Strongman finds pretentious. He chastises the manner in which fashion is presented, noting a disconnect where clothing is described as "by" various creators rather than "made by," suggesting a deliberate attempt to romanticise consumer products into high art. The questions and answers during the competition are portrayed as vacuous and superficial, eliciting embarrassment rather than entertainment. Overall, Strongman feels that "Miss Universe" perpetuates a facade of glamour while masking the genuine personalities of its contestants. He expresses a longing for authenticity, contrasting the manufactured image often presented to the public. The commentary concludes with a sense of relief at turning to more genuine programming, like “Five Go Mad in Dorset,” which provides a refreshing reprieve from the artificiality displayed during the beauty pageant. He wittily notes the irony of the show’s themes, questioning whether TVNZ is subtly addressing significant issues without overtly mentioning them. In essence, the review reveals Strongman's disillusionment with the beauty pageant culture of the time, prompting a call for deeper reflection on the portrayal of women in media and the value of authenticity in entertainment.

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