Little Help For Cinderella (Press, 11 September 1982)

"The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence" by Colette Dowling, published in 1982, is a commentary on women's dependency and their struggle for independence. The book resonates with many women by encouraging them to acknowledge their dependency and desire for external validation, often expressed as a need to be "saved". Dowling, a journalist who has been independently raising her children, explores her own feelings of wanting to relinquish her emotional and financial independence in a new relationship, despite her partner advocating for equality in shared responsibilities. Dowling's insights stem from her realisation that societal conditioning from childhood has instilled in her, and many women like her, a notion of being saved by marriage or a partner. She asserts that this upbringing has led to a sense of helplessness and fear of success, traits that she claims are common among women who have been taught to seek security in relationships rather than embracing independence. Her discussion is supported by research studies and examples from sociology and psychiatry, which makes her arguments compelling to a certain extent. However, the review by Alison Neale highlights significant limitations in Dowling's analysis. While she effectively addresses women's dependency, she largely neglects the socialisation of men into dominant roles and failed to explore how men also have dependency needs typically met through relationships. Moreover, Dowling's examination of heterosexual dynamics misses the perspective of those in lesbian relationships who may find equality and partnership outside traditional frameworks. The book concludes with a brief chapter on women who have achieved independence, but Neale criticises Dowling for not adequately analysing the factors that facilitated this liberation. Although the book brings awareness to issues of women's psychology and dependency, it lacks depth in its exploration of patriarchal structures that continue to perpetuate inequality. Overall, while "The Cinderella Complex" may inspire some women to confront their fears and work towards achieving independence, it may also frustrate those who are already aware of the complexities involved in overcoming societal obstacles. For women striving for genuine equality, the book falls short of providing the comprehensive understanding needed to navigate and challenge the ingrained sexism of society.

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