‘Women’ For The Last Time (Press, 5 October 1977)

On 5 October 1977, Nancy Cawley reported on the final episode of Diedre McCartin's impactful six-part documentary series about New Zealand women, titled "The Woman in Your Life is You." The programme candidly addressed the sexual attitudes and experiences of women, highlighting their feelings of being "used" in relationships and tracing the lingering effects of Victorian ideals, which dictate that "nice women don’t enjoy sex." The episode featured a range of women who shared their personal struggles, including issues around masturbation and lesbianism, and concluded with some cautious optimism about the potential for satisfying sexual relationships based on mutual care and comfort. For Ira Herangi, who had spent six years in an unfulfilling marriage, this notion was profoundly enlightening. Raised in an environment that shunned open discussion about bodies, she initially believed her primary role was to please her husband. The revelation of finding compatible partners who could foster joy was transformative for her. Tilly Hunter, a Wellington office worker in her second marriage, reflected on her past experiences. In her first marriage, she faced constant criticism and felt diminished, likening her situation to that of a "second-class citizen." She noted that if her current husband ever started to dominate her as her first did, she risked reverting to these previous feelings of inadequacy. A young psychologist from Auckland contributed a professional perspective, pointing out that many women often internalise the blame for their sexual issues. She explained that because women are accustomed to deferring to men, they struggle with equality in intimate relationships. The documentary presented a balanced view of women's experiences; however, some critiques arose regarding the portrayals, suggesting that the focus was overly sympathetic regardless of the context. One woman's complaint about feeling fatigued, followed by her husband's massage prompting her to engage in sex, exemplified the blurred lines of consent in certain narratives. Despite these concerns, Cawley praised "The Woman in Your Life is You" as one of the standout films in the series, appreciating the sensitive handling of a challenging subject. The portrayal of a lesbian couple’s quiet affection, while brief, also resonated with viewers. The series was notable for emphasising a guiding principle discussed by the psychologist: "Whatever gives you pleasure and doesn’t hurt anyone else," promoting a therapeutic approach to understanding sexuality. Diedre McCartin's documentary series marks a significant moment in New Zealand television, being the first comprehensive exploration of women's issues and needs. At the United Women’s Convention in Christchurch, McCartin acknowledged that these films were created in response to women seeking to address the damaging societal situations many faced. The series, which included topics such as marital depression, domestic violence, media representations of women, the experiences of Māori women, and childcare concerns, collectively opened conversations about women's roles and rights in society.

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