N.z. Men — Education For Loneliness (Press, 24 March 1977)

On 24 March 1977, sociologist Mrs Peggy Coopman-Boyden delivered a talk at a Christchurch Rotary Club about the societal expectations placed on New Zealand men, encapsulated in the "John Wayne image," which epitomises toughness, competitiveness, and emotional suppression. She argued that gatherings of men, such as service clubs, reflect an expectation of emotional restraint, which can lead to unhealthy outcomes, including violence. Mrs Coopman-Boyden highlighted that men's interactions are predominantly achievement-based, offering limited opportunities for emotional sharing or empathy. She advocated for "men's liberation," asserting that men should not feel pressured to repress their emotions, as expressing themselves could reduce the likelihood of violent behaviour. She contended that men should not have to adopt a dominant role over women and suggested their relationships would benefit from viewing women as equals rather than objects. Additionally, she pointed out that societal norms push boys into competitive sports that emphasise violence and aggression, when they could instead be encouraged to explore interests such as music or literature without fear of being labelled effeminate. This narrow focus on masculinity creates challenges later in life, particularly for elderly men in rest homes who often feel aimless compared to women who engage in activities such as knitting. Mrs Coopman-Boyden noted the emergence of men's liberation groups, including Men Against Sexism in Christchurch, while acknowledging that the struggles of the men's and women's liberation movements differ significantly. While women are tasked with demanding more rights, men must learn to relinquish some of their power—a more challenging and uncomfortable transition given the societal conditioning surrounding gender roles. She posited that both men and women would benefit from dismantling rigid gender roles and that true freedom cannot coexist with dominance or submission. The reinforcement of stereotypes, such as the John Wayne ideal, results in men repressing their gentler traits for fear of being viewed as weak. This stereotype contributes to feelings of inadequacy in those who do not conform to expected norms of masculinity, which are often linked to being the primary breadwinner and displaying competitiveness. Moreover, she highlighted systemic discrimination against men, particularly in the legal arena, where they face harsher prosecutions and sentences compared to women. The talk concluded by pointing out that societal conditioning shapes perceptions of gender, leading to consequences for both men and women, thus underscoring the need for a re-evaluation of traditional gender expectations for the benefit of all.

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