A 16-part podcast series produced by Hohou Te Rongo Kahukura and Rainbow Hub Waikato. The team set out to explore the experiences of Takatāpui and Rainbow elders. They wanted to identify specific risks of elder abuse, neglect, and exploitation. Alongside this, they wanted to advocate for the meaningful inclusion of the needs of Takatāpui and Rainbow older people in strategies, policies, and services for the elderly in Aotearoa. For more information visit the Hohou Te Rongo Kahukura website.
Summary
The audio recording delves into the profound journey of an individual grappling with self-acceptance and the pressures of societal norms. It begins with the speaker reflecting on a time when they believed their perceived inadequacies defined them. This self-doubt extended to their role as a parent, where they felt that their personal failures might impede their ability to parent effectively.
A turning point occurs when the speaker meets a counselor after being alone for several years. This counselor helps them realize that there is nothing inherently wrong with them, which empowers the speaker to start exploring their identity. This revelation leads to the acceptance of their sexuality, specifically recognizing themselves as a lesbian.
Despite this self-awareness, the speaker describes a persistent reluctance to disclose their sexual orientation to others, including doctors. They attribute this to a desire to be seen simply as themselves, rather than being labeled. The speaker recounts a particular instance with a doctor, where after building some rapport, they mention living with a woman. The doctor's response, a suggestion to only meet in public henceforth, underscores the prevalent paranoia and stigma associated with being openly lesbian, especially in professional environments.
The speaker, who works in mental health and has a long career in early childhood education, shares a significant experience as a center manager. They describe the effort to keep their same-sex relationship hidden from colleagues, a secret that persisted until their civil union. The disclosure of their marriage to a woman brought an emotional reaction from a colleague who felt betrayed for not knowing earlier. This incident highlights the deep emotional impact and sense of betrayal that secrecy can have on relationships.
Throughout the narrative, the speaker reveals the constant juggling act of living on others' terms. They discuss the isolation of attending events alone, even when others brought their partners, and the excuses made to keep their partner's existence hidden. This charade continued until the speaker decided to live life on their own terms, which they describe as liberating.
The narrative also touches on societal expectations, such as the pressure to have a girlfriend, and the subtle yet pervasive pressures encountered in everyday interactions. The speaker expresses discomfort with activities that force personal disclosures, preferring to keep their personal life private unless in safe, accepting environments like a lesbian group dance class.
This summary is created using Generative AI. Although it is based on the recording's transcription, it may contain errors or omissions. Click here to learn more about how this summary was created.
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