So, you are 55 years or older. Or one day will be, all going well. We tend to be living longer, healthier and wealthier than we ever planned to as gay men and lesbian women. What has changed to make this so? The laws of the land have changed. Homosexuality was decriminalised in 1986. The Human Rights Act declared it illegal to discriminate against people on the basis sexual orientation as regards to employment and housing opportunities. The property and relationships act legalised defacto couples as mutual spouses (after a period of three years unless either party contracts out of that standing within the first 6 months). Then came Civil Unions for couples who wished to legally declare their love for each other as a permanent coupling. The one remaining right denied gay and lesbian Civil Union couples, is that of being able to be recognised as parents to the children they bring to their relationship. A Civil Unionised gay or lesbian couple cannot adopt children into their family. (More on this at another time.) For most of our history the tyranny of the next of kin ruled over gay partners and their ability to pass on their wealth and property to a surviving partner when a partner died. Despite wills and other commonly accepted legal instruments, the laws of the land could be challenged by next of kin, such as parents or brothers and sisters, who usually won the legal right to all the contested property and wealth. As gay couples had no legal spouse standing under the law they were often bereft of any protections against this type of asset stripping on the demise of their partner. Similarly, couples that had lived together, had built up assets together and then separated often came out the situation unequally compensated for the contribution both had put into the household. This has now changed and for the first time gay and lesbian couples have the ability retain their assets through their evolving relationships and regardless of next of kin issues. A new responsibility is now becoming possible, we can start to plan how and where we want to live as we age. Do you want to live in an over 55's village, a straight-orientated retirement village of a few elderly men and many more surviving widows ? A Christian-run retirement village? A privately run home and hospital? Would we even be welcome there? Or do we get together and build a variety of gay-friendly village environments to suit our needs and desires? It is not a case of one solution that will serve all gay and lesbian people, rather a variety of types of lifestyles that need to be accommodated that meet the ongoing needs of our aging and evolving community. I imagine somewhere a place for us. A gay-friendly place in the sun surrounded by fabulous decor beautiful gardens, heated swimming pool and a friendly cafe. Surrounded by friends and residents who can feel affirmed and accepted, about their loves and lives. The types of communities we could choose to live in are only limited by our imagination and our willingness to implement those ideas. The opportunities are out there, look at the Soho development in Ponsonby, Auckland, for instance. Reportedly there are four proposals to include a retirement complex in this very central location. This could be an excellent gay-friendly development, combining urban lifestyle with closeness to an already gay-friendly society. Other options could also be explored, some of us prefer a more eco-friendly back to basics lifestyle, others may prefer to live beside the sea, or deep in the bush. For some a deep sense of collective community would be their ideal living place. When you are a couple it is easier to live anywhere in New Zealand as integration into general society has become very common and acceptable. Imagine though, as our population ages and our partners are lost, we need the back up of a community to ensure we are loved and nurtured through those last golden years. Let us not ignore the potential of a bright new future, with a sense of place, now that we have the tools and responsibility to plan for a better one. How can we as a community address this new issue. Talk to your friends and partners, find out your dreams and desires. Create an action group, talk to developers and business partners. Make contacts all around you, and you will be amazed how this can snowball into solid concrete solutions. Let us build a place we can all be proud to live in as we move through the ages. Build it and they will come. Geoff Allen is a gay Auckland property investor. Geoff Allen - 16th October 2010