Fri 1 Apr 2005 In: Ask Our Expert View at Wayback View at NDHA
I'm not the greatest looking guy in the world, though not too ugly either. My only way to meet new guys is on the net but everyone always asks for a pic right up front and when I send one they inevitably disappear. I'm not lonely, just frustrated. - Howie, East Coast Jim comments: Howie. It is understandable you are frustrated. But some of this depends on what you are looking for yourself. Are you seeking sex partners, friends, a lover? That isn't clear. People cruising the net for sex partners have one thing in mind and that is physical attractiveness. If that is what you are doing then you might run into problems. That's one reason everyone on the net is 24 years old, 6 ft tall, blond hair, blue eyes and with a 9 inch dick. And the pictures they send are often borrowed from some one else's photo album. If you are looking for friends make that clear. Also remember that to make a friend you need to be a friend. When you meet someone else ask them about themselves. I've known too many narcissists who never bother to ask about the other person. If you do meet someone don't over do it of course, but now and then call them and just see how they doing. And if you are looking for friends then the net simply is not your only option. Find projects in your area that you can help with and volunter your time. Let people see the inside that you have. And don't get too discouraged. Some of the ugliest people around are drop dead gorgeous. If you want people to see the you on the inside then take the time to see the person that is inside them as well. Jacquie comments: I'm not sure when you say the only way you can meet new guys is on the net, am I hearing you have a lover tucked away in a closet somewhere and find it difficult as you are hiding your activities from your current partner, you go on to say you are not lonely just frustrated. Sounds to me like you have what you are looking for already and just don't realise or appreciate it. If I am wrong then you need to do one of two things either get a better picture or change where you look for company. Try joining one of the many gay groups that are available these days. Remember you will still be just as frustrated after casual sex as there is no substance to that sort of relationship. GayNZ.com - 1st April 2005