I live in a small town and suspect I might be gay. I've talked about it with the only other gay person I know and he says I should come round to his house and "try some stuff" to see what I think. I don't like the sound of this idea too much but what else can I do? - Curious, Northern North Island Jim comments: Let's be honest here. This guy is not wanting to help you. He wants to help himself. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they are not a "user". If I were you I'd tell him: "Talk to the hand cause I ain't listening." The real question is dealing with whether you are gay or not. You don't mention why you "suspect" you might be gay. But my experience is that most people who "suspect" they are gay are. There is no rush to answer the question though. Usually time alone will tell. But lets assume you are gay. Do you want your first gay experience to be one where someone uses you for their own jollies? I don't think so. Don't get into the trap of thinking that being gay is about sex and nothing else. Don't settle for less than the best. There is a whole package out there waiting for you and that includes love and sex and commitment. Don't let this guy cheat you out one of the most memorable events of your life. If you do you'll probably regret it. Jacquie comments: Firstly you say you suspect you may be Gay? Either you are or you aren't that is for you to decide however until you come to terms with your sexuality leave the experimental sex alone, it's dangerous and may confuse your situation even more. I am assuming you are a young person and may have limited opportunities to meet and talk to other young gay people. I suggest you do some net surfing and find the nearest Gay group to where you live and make contact meet some people, and be cool. [Check out the Support if he was he would be your friend and take things quietly, also remember if you are tempted by his offer - Hubba Hubba use a rubber. GayNZ.com - 7th March 2005