Stephen Franks MP Dear Mr Franks, It's comforting to know that in a country where men get brutally murdered for being gay and the courts let them off, and other gay men get shut out of mortuaries if their partners die because they're not "family", that you're willing to stand up for the little people – that often-maligned group of fundamentalists that think the men above are evil sinners who should be prosecuted for being gay. So concerned are you for their welfare that you've told the media that you won't be voting for the Civil Union Bill unless there's a clause in there protecting them. Now that's Hero Talk! (and I don't mean in a faggy Ponsonby Rd float kinda way). I had thought up until now that this tragic minority already had enough protection, with their millions of dollars worth of rates-relief property, billions of dollars worth of tax-free donations solicited through their supporters, their “political parties” (which have nothing to do with those churches with uncannily similar names), their black-shirted rallies, their own state-funded schools, and their own President of the United States. But I've seen the light now. As the justice spokesman for ACT, the party of classical liberalism, your keen legal mind must be seeing something us mere mortals are missing. Oh, by the way, have you met Nicki Taylor from the Maxim Institute? She's their legal expert, but she needs a bit of help as she had real problems answering questions about their civil union submission at the select committee – remember? You were there, Stephen, shuffling papers and starting up conversations with the person next to you every time a gay submitter spoke. Anyway, I've bought myself a police scanner to listen out for the Christian-bashings, which I'm sure are occurring nightly. I'll be getting in touch with schools to confront them over the conspiracy of silence surrounding Jesus-phobic attacks on Christian students (including the Catholic schools, internalised hatred is the most vicious I'm told). And I'll be waiting by the letterbox for the anti-Christian leaflet drop, complete with statistics about how Christians have failed marriages, abuse alcohol and drugs, molest their children, and die in their mid-forties. While I'm waiting for all this to occur, I've found some other marginalised groups in our society that need your help, Stephen, and quite possibly legislative protection. And I mean really. No-one wants to stick their neck out for any of these suckers: 1. THE NATIONAL FRONT I mean, what is the beef with these guys? They stand for family values, have offered to patrol the streets in neighbourhoods with low police numbers, they're heterosexual and they're white – who wouldn't trust them? Their supporters have their own message board forum on the international Stormfront website for “white pride” (hey there's an idea, Stephen – why don't you help them lobby their local council for funding for a parade?). A particularly interesting thread on this forum is entitled “The enemy of the white race (the Maori people)”. Why aren't we hearing more of this here, Stephen? Because these people are being persecuted for their views, so much so that they have to post them on an American website. How about getting a retrospective clause inserted into the new Foreshore