Week 7 of the edited diary entries of a HIV positive man going onto a standard 'combination therapy' pill regime to boost the immune system and repress the virus. Wednesday Today felt like a normal day, at least in comparison to recent weeks. Woke up about 9am after a good sleep, taking pills wasn't a chore and I've found that if I wait till I've gone to the toilet three times after waking I can get through about 4 hours without the screaming shits intervening. This is side-effects progress! Usual mid-afternoon nap but very tired by 7pm again. Thursday Most of the medication side effects appear to be subsiding. Will they disappear as I hope? The most annoying ones are the fingertip numbness, itchy skin, nausea, tiredness and diahrroea. Perhaps I should also include the lack of taste/cement taste thing. The big 6. Went out to lunch with a dyke friend who did most of the talking which was great as I'm feeling very washed out and a little uncommunicative. For two days now I can guarantee I have taken all the pills properly and on time! Friday I'm learning to pace myself and not try to fight the side-effects. Friends and work associates are being great, undertanding and making allowances when I suddenly opt out of things and go home for a rest. Am eating a good range of food again, though in limited quantities because of lack of appetite. Saturday Slept all day (more or less) and felt better for it. It's time to try to get energy and stamina back and that means eating well, getting all the rest I can and trying to relax mentally about still feeling fairly crap most days. But the tide has definitely turned and I look back on the past weeks as a kind of bad dream. Sunday Ok day today till about 1pm... just the shits, taste problems and tinitus. But with the onset of the usual nausea and tiredness at 1 came a flood of the symptoms that have been diminishing. Soreness around the mouth and nostrils, throat irritation and subsequent coughing fits (which even sipping a little cool milk didn't seem to soothe this time), etc. Sent a couple of well-meaning visitors home and took to bed. I'm bloody sick of bed! Monday Tired and grumpy. Explosive runny shits all day. It's no fun having to clean up the toilet (and sometimes the surrounding floor or walls) every time I dash to the toilet which has been about 15 times today. But no "little accidents" or near accidents which is progress! This morning I noticed that I forgot last night's pills through lying in bed all afternoon, evening and night feeling miserable and dejected. Tuesday Cleared the fridge today and dumped a lot of food. I've tried to ensure I eat properly by having lots of things to hand... to up the odds of finding something that appeals at those times I have to eat. I have to eat with the pills. I have to eat to put weight back on. I have to eat to counteract the draining effect of the shits. And I have to eat because it's one of the only real pleasures I can reliably access, apart from The Simpsons. But most of the time appetite is non-existent and needs to be stimulated. So there were lots of things bought in the hope they'd appeal that never got eaten, or were half-eaten. What a waste. John Stone; GayNZ.com - 15th November 2004
Credit: John Stone; GayNZ.com
First published: Monday, 15th November 2004 - 12:00pm