A new Australian survey shows married men who have sex with other men would rather commit suicide than risk admitting it and losing their families. But trying to protect their family could do much more harm, with sexually transmitted disease quickly passed on through a lack of caution. A University of Sydney study surveyed 240 men who had at any stage been in a heterosexual marriage or de facto relationship while having sexual relations with men. The participants, recruited through the internet or sex-on-site venues, all lived in western Sydney. The results showed that more than half of the men's female partners were not aware of their sexual activities, and that most of the men had married because they wanted a family, heterosexual ‘normalisation' and believed their sexual feelings for men would eventually go away. "A lot of men will commit suicide because they don't see any other way out,'' researcher Jeff Hudson said. "Instead of hurting their wives or damaging their marriage or ending up with nothing, they would rather kill themselves. "They can't see exposure to their wives as being a solution because they don't want to hurt their wives, they want to protect their wives.'' But Hudson said not telling at least their doctors could do a lot more harm than good to their wives, whom almost 50 per cent of those surveyed claimed to love. "Health professionals should know it occurs,'' Hudson said. "If someone comes in to get a test at the doctor because they're sick, just because they're married the doctor would not say you should have an STI (sexually transmitted infection) check, or HIV check. "That's where often the disease spread happens, because these men don't see themselves as at risk or at risk for their wives because they don't identify with the usual gay man or bisexual man and so the health professionals don't ask about sexual history.'' Findings from a phone survey of the sex lives of 20,000 Australians by the University of New South Wales also sheds light on closeted men's issues. Men who reported being attracted to men – but had never acted on their desire and didn't regard themselves as gay – identified themselves as much less happy than the general population. Ref: News.com.au, Sydney Morning Herald (m)