The fourth annual Great Auckland Central Hero Debate last night featured some quick-thinking MP's, outrageous anecdotes, a few 'oldie but goodie' jokes, and much snorting from movie critic Steven Gray. A near-full house settled into Newmarket's Opera Factory at 7.30pm for two hours of verbal bouts which seemed to focus more on insulting members of the other team than addressing the moot point – which many confessed they didn't understand. 'Minister for Small Business' Lianne Dalziel started proceedings with some over-the-top flattery of the night's esteemed judges Buckwheat, Ross Thorby and Dame Catherine Tizard. She then revealed chair Judith Tizard's recent trouble with the law – for knitting while driving. "The cop shouted out 'pull over', to which Tizard shouted back 'no, a scarf!'" she wisecracked. Media Commentator Russell Brown spoke next, calling Dalziel 'the TradeMe' of humour – "her jokes are used before, but they're cheap." Brown also noted that the opposing team of Dalziel, MP Charles Chauvel and Steven Gray was "two lawyers, and one that needs one!" Chauvel's speech included much about NZ's Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters. "He's found out a woman in China has a baby every four minutes," he told the audience. "He's on a mission to find that woman!" NZ AIDS Foundation chair Hoani Jeremy Lambert followed, revealing details of bawdy emails by Steven Gray, and also noting Chauvel's 'achievements' section of his website is 'still under construction'. Steven Gray, fresh from snorting loudly through everyone else's speeches and going to the bathroom while Lambert spoke, was surprisingly on-topic. He'd 'Googled' the moot – the Oscar Wilde quote "that wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others", and concluded "booze was invented so ugly people could get laid!" MP Chris Carter, dubbed 'Mrs Kaiser' that night in reference to his recent Civil Union, already had the inside scoop on his fellow MP's wicked deeds, said he had 'Googled' Gray and found a great deal of dirt on him, revealing much that cannot be repeated here! Dame Catherine Tizard, who laughed that she has to keep interrupting daughter Judith in public settings, "as she doesn't listen to me privately," and the other judges decided to leave the winning team decision to the audience. Applause for the affirmative team – Dalziel, Chauvel and Gray, was slightly bigger, so they were named winners of the Great Hero Debate 2007. The successful evening was a fundraiser for the NZ AIDS Foundation, the Cartier Bereavement Charitable Trust, and the Labour Party. The amount of money raised will be totaled up in the coming days. Ref: GayNZ.com (m)
Credit: GayNZ.com News Staff
First published: Tuesday, 20th February 2007 - 12:00pm