Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Ted Allen, Kyan Douglas, Thom Filicia, Carson Kressley and Jai Rodriguez. Bantam, $39.95 A few nights ago on the tube I watched two skinny, patronising, know-all, humourless English bitches force some poor victim into a style upgrade. It was a graceless affair called, I think, What Not To Wear, where they pushed and and harassed her, ground her down until she gave in and complied. I have to admit that in the end she was dressing better, but her know-all tormenters, seargent-majors in spaghetti straps, got no marks at all for humanity or charm. At one point I thought the style-challenged drab was going to either burst into tears or knife them. No-one would have convicted her. Contrast that with Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, where the fashion and style advice is delivered with knowing charm, where the humour is gentle and the suggestions are made with regard to the sensibilities of the subject. The newly-released Queer Eye For The Straight Guy book is just like the TV series, simple and straightforward, with a sly, camp wink or two and not a victim in sight. Granted I am unlikely to rush out and purchase their recommended Black and Dekker-style nasal hair trimmer, but I'm already using a better wet razor and shaving foam and getting a better shave as a result. I'm still wearing old t-shirts and black 501s, but I might invest in a few more styley shirts for winter. There are a couple of recipes I'll try and, yes, I'm learning lots of little tips about the practical aspects of life from five New York queens. Go figure! I'm pleasantly surprised to find as I flip through the Queer Eye book that it's pitched at ordinary guys, gay or straight, who want to ratchet their personal presentation up a notch. Not a complete remake, just a tweak here and there. The Fab 5's demystifying of wine is spot on, trashing some of the sillier theories, explaining enough of the mysteries. The food section is a good back to basics primer and the clothes section is damned interesting. My 501s are fashionable after all! Their advice on decorating is a little more obtuse or perhaps just a tad more difficult to get a handle on, and I suspect some of the dating advice would not translate well for a same-sex romantic evening. But at heart it's chock full of interesting tips, presented with charm and warmth. The Fab 5 might know it all, but they don't rub our faces in it. This is the book that every young man, regardless of sexuality, should be given when he leaves home. It should be a compulsory gift, as much a part of life as Plunket and cheque books. Student flat landlords should be required by law to provide a complementary copy to new tenants, fathers should pass on their well-thumbed copies to sons. Jay Bennie - 20th April 2004