Sharon Harris outside the High Court at Auckland minutes after life sentences were handed down to her brother's murderers. The late Ihaia Gillman-Harris shared a special bond with one of his younger sisters. They were born on exactly the same date, ten years apart. Months before Sharon Harris was born their mother had told ten-year old Ihaia that she was going to give him a baby sister for his birthday. And that's exactly what happened. “I was very close to Ihaia,” says Sharon, who has made a life for herself in Australia. “I'll be 47 this year so he would have been 57. We've always acknowledged each other on our birthday no matter where we are. On December 14th 2014, his last birthday, he texted me and wished me a happy birthday and in return I did the same. "He was my big brother who had a full life, he had his own style, always kind, quite a cool brother. He wasn't into things the other brothers were into, he had a thing for cars and that was right from a young age. "When I was about eight or nine he bought a Trans-Am [muscle car], a red one... it really stood out in Tokoroa where we were born and bred. He was so cool... I remember him saying: 'Come on, lets go for a drive, and we got to a back part of town and he said: 'Now you can jump in this side and I'll teach you how to drive.' And I said: 'I'm too young to drive' and he said 'Well, we're not going fast... I'll guide you, we're only going slow.' "I was so nervous but it was so cool at the same time. I think I was more nervous at him giving me instructions than actually driving the car. It was quite intimidating because I knew if I ditched this car it's all over for me. He made sure it was going straight, I couldn't go wrong." As they grew up, Sharon says, it became apparent their personalities were very similar, “though I'm not as grumpy as he sometimes was. People sometimes said in some ways I looked like him.” Ihaia was for a time an airline steward but it's his time in the Navy that stands out in Sharon's mind. “He had such a full life, being in the Navy... sometimes we didn't see him for a while. At one stage he was deployed to the 'Sates for a month and when he came back he'd brought back all these stuffed toys like Scooby Doo for me and [sister] Herata.. it was like Santa Claus... because we were his baby sisters he was always our big brother, that's how I will always remember him. We'd sit wide-eyed when he'd tell us all these stories of how we look like Mexicans and he'd been told to get off the bus and had to show his passport to show he wasn't Mexican. Then the next minute he'd be off back to Devonport naval base or wherever. When did Sharon first understand that her adored big brother was gay? “Probably from my adolescence, maybe sixteen, for me to know what being gay meant, back in the early '80s. I probably heard from older brothers and sisters.” What did she think about that? “Not much really. It wouldn't have been a reaction like 'Yuk' or 'How could he be that'... no not at all... it was just him, it wasn't a big deal.” Did he ever have a partner? “No, I never knew him to date and never saw him with anybody. You don't really think much about his private life, about what he gets up to, and coming from a big family everybody has their own dynamics, there are so many of us. Our family is very busy so you don't focus on: “Oh, this one doesn't go with girls... it was just something we had accepted over the years. There was no judgment whatsoever, he did what he did and I did what I did, the rest did what they did, just a normal functioning family that had its trials and tribulations.” Much was made in the trial of him not having a home... was that true? “We never asked: 'Where do you live?' You just assumed he stayed in Auckland so he lived somewhere in Auckland. In Australia it wasn't something we ever spoke about. A couple of months before he passed away we had a conversation where he said he wanted to buy a house and I was so happy for him because I was in the process of getting our house built here. He said he wanted a place down near Taumarunui and I said “'That will be awesome because you'll be able to have your own home without paying rent all the time. 'He said 'Yeah, everyone else has got a house so it's about time I had one.' I said 'You work hard enough anyway so it's about time you got a house, then you'll be able to have all your cars in one garage.' I was happy for him, like I'd be for any other member of the family. Ihaia was an operator trainer for Kiwirail, “training guys to do all the containers. He used to speak a lot of his job, he was so skilled, it must have been a hard job because you see those containers on a wharf, they're huge! I'm a forklift operator myself so when he was telling me what his job was there was a Wow! factor. He must have been very meticulous, he was very careful with his job... he wouldn't barge into anything without thinking it through properly. And that came out from his co-workers at his funeral, they said what an awesome trainer he was... he loved his job and loved training people. The day that Sharon got the shocking news of Ihaia's death is an indelible memory. “That phone call still haunts me today. We had gone to a beach near Newcastle and it had been such a beautiful day and I'd come back home. I usually carry my cellphone but this day I hadn't had it with me. I'd left it on charge. I went into the bedroom to get it and it was all lit up like a Christmas tree. My daughter was with me and I told her it was her uncle calling and put the phone on speaker, not knowing what we aere going to hear. “He just said 'Sharon...' in a tone of voice that made me ask 'Is everything all right?' And he said 'No, our brother's been killed.' And in my head it's like 'Which brother?' Because I had five. And he said 'Ihaia's been killed.' And my daughter said 'What's happening?' And I said 'He's been killed...' “To hear that I went into shock. My daughter was bawling and I had to hang up, I couldn't process it at that moment... whatever happened for the next five minutes, it was in shock, Such a big shock, it's indescribable... A car accident? Illness or something? But to hear those words 'He's been killed...' It was total shock. Couldn't believe it. Then you think 'How? What happened?' Because my brother was a mess himself, in total shock and I said 'I'll come to you when I get myself together.' I was the last one to find out in the family. The police were wanting to release his name but they couldn't until I was notified, the last one. It was unreal. It opens you right up. Sharon flew immediately to Auckland then up to a family homestead in Northland for the tangi. Ihaia had spent a lot of time up north in recent years, caring for their elderly, widowed father. Police released pictures of two suspects and within days they were arrested. Sharon recalls the repeated emotional blows. “The absolute shock from hearing your brother's been killed... you come back to New Zealand and then seeing the state of him... because in our culture we have open coffin.” Photographs shown in court over a year later were a disturbing sight, revealing multiple injuries including a multiply-fractured skull and extensive bruising, and a pathologist gave an indication of the added damage cause by medical interventions to try to save Ihaia's life. “Now those two were arrested and I saw their pictures and it was confusing because I thought they didn't look like they would do something like that. You think, 'Is this a mistake, have they got the wrong people?' “One brother said to me that there were a couple of sinister things had come out in connection with his private life and it kind of kicked in. 'Ohhh... ok...' He was actually being quite forward about it, our brother met with foul play because of his sexuality. That's as blunt as he put it. I initially thought it was a car-jacking, no way would you have thought that all this would pan out the way it did. You realise it wasn't something random. “Then over the months you hear the story, it comes out right through to the trial and you realise what was leading up to his death. Evidence that Ihaia was almost obsessively attracted to young, preferably broke and straight guys whom he would pay for sexual liaisons after providing them with alcohol and cigarettes did not paint a pretty picture. He was tagged 'a predator' by the defense and that set the tone for everything that was revealed, and the way it was interpreted, as the lengthy case progressed. Does Sharon think less of Ihaia now from the evidence given in court? “No. It's just sad that our brother never told us... he should have been more careful, like 'What are you doing with people not your age?' For me that was uncool. I'm just angry at the circumstances that he put himself in. A couple of other family members have said the same thing... why did he put himself in harm's way... 'Why did you have to do that, could you not have done it some other way...?' "We really didn't know our brother, we really didn't know him as far as his private life went. You think 'Why did you put yourself through that, it's so simple... go and do something that's a little bit safer... you have choices, there can be repercussions, you learn that growing up through life, with your age you're not going to put yourself in a position where you're going to be in danger...' That's how I look at it anyway. So you think Ihaia must have let his guard down so badly. He was so good in other areas around family so how could he have let himself get so far that he was oblivious to danger? That's what makes me sad... that he wasn't careful.” Ihaia Gillman-Harris was buried at the extended family homestead, “a family cemetery on my dad's side. He is buried next to mum and dad and a brother who passed away a few years ago.” The years have begin to pass, December 14 by December 14. “I actually got quite anxious in the days leading up to our next birthday because I knew there was going to be no message from him," says Sharon. "I was very, very sad, thinking 'I can't message you, I can't ring you...' I put a message up on Facebook among family and friends just to say I get to celebrate two birthdays and I'll take your share of the cake. That for me, "December 14th will always be our shared birthday. I've never forgotten that ever since I was old enough to understand we shared the same birth date. That's our day.” Jay Bennie - 27th May 2016