Retired teacher and trans woman Diane Sparkes doesn’t believe we should be reclaiming words like queer and faggot. She says for some, the pain of those words are not easily forgotten. There is no justification for ignoring words used by an all too often violent and discriminating past. Is now the time for regaining our dignity and pride. As LGBT people continue to look for greater acceptance by the cisgender society are we sending the right message in our attempt to justify “who we are”. Would you like to press the mute button on reclaimed words? Talk of using words like queer and faggot as being reclaimed does very little to enhance our cause, words that were once derogative and humiliating are still unacceptable and definitely not funny. Their use today ignores the pain that so many have sustained in their right to live in a society that fails in so many ways to understand our very existence! Those who have never experienced the real effect that these simple words have had will never understand their true intention. Intolerance and hate for another’s existence. The past can never be undone, however the idea that we can use those same words today in an acceptable manner, ignores the very reason their use was changed to become offensive. Queer originally referred to strange objects and experiences etc. but later became used as a means of identifying homosexual persons and their supposed non-normative sexual practices. See also fairy and faggot. As our new tolerant society attempts to give the impression that those values no longer matter, that because we use these words ourselves in a confrontational manner, we are less sensitive about them. That somehow we have become enlightened with those words that we join the perpetrators that once tried to destroy our very existence with their bigotry and disgust of us, to the extent that we were referred to as abominations of God and much worse. Because we use those words about ourselves is it really ok for the rest of society to do the same? The reality of using those words, even when not used in a derogatory fashion, is that they become a reminder to many of a time in society when we had little or no value. Gay Pride is promoted and accepted, perhaps a better word should be tolerated, in society, many today have a fun time with being themselves, but it was not long ago this view of us was seen in a very different light. Our pasts shrouded in darkness while we were discriminated against and vilified for our very existence. This then begs the question has Pride become nothing more than a spectacle viewed by so many who ordinarily would never give us the time of day? Or are your proud to reclaim words like queer? Presenting the view that because today we survive in a more enlightened society the past should not only be forgotten but should now be seen differently. What was in the past a reason to promote violence and discrimination against those whose lives were subjected to hatred, should instead become a source of fun and entertainment. The reality for those who suffered violation wrongful arrest and even death, is that the past is not that easily forgotten, it is littered with injustices, pain and societal enforced guilt to the extent that so many lives have been lost, ruined by the inclusion of those shocking words banded about in everyday life. Words that were meant to be offensive, a societal means of bringing down the many whose only guilt was that they were different, living in a society that had no time for them. Ignoring the past and attempting to show that we have grown up, that we can laugh at ourselves is no reason to let our standards go, if they were offensive then, they will always remain offensive, we cannot now turn around and tell our tormentors that because we stand up to be counted it is OK to use them. Because a few misguided in our community choose ignorance over respect, a situation now appears to exist in society where enlightenment means accepting something that was in the past offensive. Sorry to say that those who wish us to conform in this way are coming from a place where they have no understanding of the way these words tore into the very fabric of LGBT society. I am speaking about the many young people who conveniently ignore the past, even make fun of it by choosing existing despicable words as a means to create shock value, sadly all too often in an entertainment context. Simply because they never understood the pain or experienced the pain those words gave, making light in the guise of acceptability because they seem to think it cool that if they take no offence it will go away. But for many LGBT folk it never will. Think about the meaning of the word pride: Pride: a feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people. See also: ‘A Queer Revolution: Reconceptualizing the Debate Over Linguistic Reclamation’ Robin Brontsema. University of Colorado at Boulder.’ Would you like to respond? We welcome submissions of opinion pieces! Just email Jacqui at news@gaynz.com Diane Sparkes - 26th November 2014