‘Anything (is) better than more standing still’ was among the tweets from the Vicar of St Luke's Mt Albert Clare Barrie as she and others urging the Anglican Church to move forward tried to digest an announcement from leaders that they will “explore ways that the blessing of same gender relationships could be part of Church life”. Some who have pushed for the Church to open its doors wide say it’s a tiny and disappointing step, others are delighted something is happening at all, but most, like Barrie, seem to be grasping for the positive amidst their mixed emotions of disappointment - and relief that at least there is some progress. The situation now is that after a long wait for a report called Ma Whea to detail wide-ranging options for the Church, leading to closed-door discussions across three days this week, the General Synod has unanimously passed a motion in Waitangi for a working party “to recommend processes and structures that allow people to choose whether they lead, or not lead, same gender blessings”. That choice will be dependent on whether each person believes such blessings are contrary to, or in agreement with scripture, doctrine, tikanga or civil law. The working party will report to the next General Synod in 2016. Any change is likely to take up a minimum of four years as it may require constitutional change for the church as well as parliamentary legislation. Clare Barrie with members of her congregation, in support of her petition It will be a long wait for many, including Clare Barrie, who in 2010 became the first female Vicar at St Luke's Anglican in Mt Albert. “She's young, drives a sports car, has a fine arts degree …” read a Central Leader article about her at the time. She’d spent eight years living in Tokyo working as a copy editor and teaching English, and was involved with an Anglican parish in Japan where people kept suggesting she become a priest. Eventually, the idea caught on and after studying theology she ended up at St Luke’s. Barrie jumped to GayNZ.com’s attention a couple of weeks ago when she asked us to share a petition she’d created urging the Church to ‘welcome all, or lose many’, and using the Ma Whea report as a springboard for action. We noted her alternatively frustrated and hopeful tweets this week as she and others waited, locked out of the discussions, as they went on day after day. Barrie tells GayNZ.com it was frustrating to have to wait outside while the discussion happened. She and other observers expected to be asked to leave for some of the caucus sessions, “but we had hoped to be able to sit in on the plenary sessions, where everyone came back together. But they asked all the observers to leave. Not just the unofficial ones but the official ones too … that was unprecedented. I think it reflected the level of emotional feeling about the issue that was in the room. They really didn’t want anyone to listen in on what was very uncertain territory for some people.” But now there is a decision, and now Barrie has had more time to digest it, she has a real mixture of feelings. “I’m really hesitant to speak for the gay community,” she says. “I’m not gay, but I have a lot of people that I am responsible for pastorally and I think the feeling of disappointment is very high that the changes that they’ve made aren’t more significant and faster - because it will be a slow process. But I think the direction that they’ve moved in is positive, so I’m glad about that. I’m glad that there are a huge number of people within the Church who are very keen to see change. Those voices have been heard.” Helen Jacobi from St Matt's Reverend Helen Jacobi at inclusive Auckland congregation St Matthew-in-the-City echoes Barrie’s mixture of feelings, saying that while the General Synod is to be commended for taking a step forward, seen from the perspective of the people affected, those faithful gay and lesbian Anglicans wanting to be married or wanting to be ordained, it is a tiny step. “I waited for the news from the General Synod on my 31st wedding anniversary, in the 22nd year of my ordination. For all this time I have been affirmed and blessed by the church. My lesbian and gay sisters and brothers have to wait two, maybe four more years. They have received an apology from the church followed by: ‘wait some more’.” Jacobi says in the meantime of course St Matthew’s doors will be opened wide. As will St Luke's Mt Albert's of course. Barrie says what may be quite hard for people outside the Church to understand is that it has a governance process quite like Parliament. “So it is very, very difficult to get change unless you get everyone around the table. And whatever change you do make has to go through this slow legal process of back and forth, just like Parliament when law is changed … it just takes time. And that’s very painful at this point.” What seems to be a glaring question from an outsider’s perspective is where things stand with ordaining people in same-sex relationships, with the motion seeming to focus on blessing gay couples. Barrie says she still needs to sit down with a Bishop, or the likes, and this figure out completely herself. However it seems the issue of blessings simply needs to be sorted out first. Barrie explains that within Church law there is old fashioned language about people needing to be ‘chaste’ and in relationships which are ‘right ordered’ to be ordained – something which has in the past meant married or celibate. However there is a tension there, with Barrie pointing out what it means to be ‘chaste’ or in a ‘right ordered’ relationship could now be broader - and obviously there have been changes to civil marriage laws. “Until the Church can find a way to say such relationships are blessed in the eyes of God, then they won’t ordain people in them,” she says. On a purely positive note, Barrie doesn’t think there has ever been a statement like the apology which came with the motion. "All too often our church has been complicit in homophobic thinking and actions of society, and has failed to speak out against hatred and violence against those with same-gender attraction,” it reads. "We apologise unreservedly and commit ourselves to reconciliation and prophetic witness." Barrie says there were no qualifications to it. “There were none of those ‘sorry that you feel bad’. It was real genuine apology and I feel that was very heartfelt from the leadership of the Church.” Looking ahead, Barrie thinks there will still be plenty of work ahead in even pushing through the changes which have been signalled. She and others who want the Church to embrace all will continue to fight, hope and pray. Their congregations will remain welcoming to all. She agrees that at least things are further ahead than they were last week. “There could have been nothing at all out of this. That was a very real possibility. So I’m very glad we’ve got this far. We’re further ahead than somewhere like the Church of England I think on some of the technical details. We’re still in a much more positive environment that they are.” And yet the feelings remain decidedly mixed. “We’re seeing the good, but also the pain simply that it’s going to take so much longer than we had hoped. But realistically, whatever we achieved this week was going to be the beginning of a longer process. “That’s the way our governance structure works. It’s immensely frustrating and painful, but it was always part of the reality, I think.” And yet … “We’ll keep working. We’ll keep working.” Jacqui Stanford - 16th May 2014