Sat 22 Mar 2014 In: Hall of Fame View at Wayback View at NDHA
Zakk d’Larté has gone from the nightmare of being different at high school, to an empowering and poised designer and performer, who is turning heads as he lives life ‘as a performance art piece’. The up and comer has been a regular among Mika’s young talents, and features on his latest single Dress to Express. He tells us about his empowering ride through life so far: I grew up in Beach Haven on the North Shore where I attended Birkenhead College and it was pretty much the worst time of my life. People like me can’t just go prancing through those areas and not expect to suffer the consequences. However, I’d always had it in my head that if I refused to suppress myself and was proud and confident, eventually people would learn to love and accept me. False. I was beaten, teased, bullied, pushed and constantly laughed at by my peers. I was confused, scared and often terrified of my future, and of disappointing my family. I didn't know who or what I was, and saw no hope of me succeeding in life. Nobody understood me and I was ridiculed by the students for my aspirations and dreams. It was that stereotypical scene from a movie, and I was that loser kid. However, I was a good student and that gained the respect from all of the staff around the school. By having the teachers as allies, I was voted by them to be Head Boy, but my Principal sat me down along with the Board of Trustees and told me that they didn’t feel comfortable having a gay student represent the school, and so my nomination was withdrawn. I wasn’t allowed to bring my partner of three years to the Ball with me either, instead was suggested that him and I attend with girls and then “hang out after entering the venue”. I refused to go unless I could bring him, but to no avail. I was constantly constrained and pressured into being something that I really wasn’t and that I’m still not to this day. I left the Shore as soon as I could and I got an apartment right in the heart of Auckland City. Only then did I really begin to learn who I was and what I wanted to achieve in my life. I met the most amazingly weird people who are now my best friends in the world, and never looked back. Last year, I was privileged to find myself working at an amazingly creative design company - completely accepting of my own self -expression and encouraging of my innovation and ideas. I found myself working for major corporations such as 20th Century Fox, Trelise Cooper, Resene and Cadbury. I was able to attend New Zealand Fashion Week as an upcoming designer, and my jewellery designs were shown at both New York Fashion Week and Fifth Avenue in Manhattan. My position with Mika now is one of freedom that allows me to contribute my own ideas and use my creativity to its full extent. When I look back at my days trying to conform when I lived on the Shore, I feel that I have grown into not only this creative sector that is the world of design, but also into my own skin both as a professional and on a personal level. Growing up I always wanted that ‘idol’ that I could look up to and know that it gets better and to continue being myself and that it would all pay off in the end, but I never really found anyone like that until I was much older. I was too young and missed the Madonnas and Elton Johns, but the Lady Gagas and Adam Lamberts were yet to come out. My entire life I’ve known that I wasn’t “the norm” and I was petrified that because of my constant failures at trying to fit into the world and blend in, that I would never be a success. Now, I daily get messages from people thanking me for inspiring them to be themselves from the way that I refuse to conform to the rules and regulations that society puts on us and that means the absolute world to me. The stares and looks I get daily make my life. Yes, most of them are confused and some of them are even angry and disgusted but I love them. I feel like people go through their lives and they all have a little repetitious cycle that they do day in and day out and I love being something that breaks that cycle. I love to push the boundaries of what’s grotesque and abnormal, and what’s actually aesthetically pleasing and glamorous. I want people to look at me and genuinely be confused at what they are viewing. I want them to question my gender. I don’t want and refuse to be restricted and held back by society. I might be wearing a fully-tailored suit and have nine-inch stripper shoes on to complete the ensemble, and that’s just me. In a way, I like to live my life as a performance art piece. I live for the attention and do everything I can to push myself as far out of the box of normality as I can. I guess I figure that because I know that I’m never going to fit in, what’s the point in trying and so instead, I push myself in the opposite direction. It took years of struggling to find myself and find a sense of belonging in this world, and now that I’ve discovered myself, I’m not afraid to show the world exactly who I am. If I could give any advice to young people who may have shared the same experiences as myself in regards to bullying, I would just say to really try to learn to love yourself. I can’t describe the impact that will have on your life. When you can honestly stand up and say to the world that you don’t give a fuck what they think and that you are going to be exactly who and what you want to be, the power and freedom behind that is unimaginable. It was the most empowering and liberating experience for me. As for the future? I hope to develop d’Larté Designs into a fully functioning machine. I’d love to have my claws in a few different aspects of design and potentially explore fashion as another creative outlet. I want to push the ideas of self-love and self-acceptance in others, and continue to push the boundaries of androgyny. I am grateful for the path that I have been lucky enough to take and for the lessons that I have learnt along the way. I want to continue to be creative and I want other people to walk around delusional about how great they can be and fight so hard for it until the lie becomes the truth. Thanks so much to Zakk for telling his story! If you want to write a piece for GayNZ.com, email news@gaynz.com Zakk d’Larté - 22nd March 2014