Labels or descriptions such as 'gay' or 'lesbian' can be both liberating and constricting according to a forum discussion held as part of the Auckland Pride Festival. The Male Sexualities and the Bear Community forum was guided by a panel of two gay bears and two trans men of differing ages, experiences and outlooks. There was general agreement that while labels could help people define themselves as they came to terms with their sexuality in a mostly heterosexual world, the labels were not necessarily accurate as people's self-understanding progressed. It was noted that a word such as 'gay' can encompass many variations of sexuality and that the lifestyles of gay people do not conform to one standard. In an emotional address one trans man described the huge personal difficulties he had faced being defined as having a string of different psychiatric conditions with an 'alphabet soup' of acronyms before realising that although he was born a physical female he was in fact male. In a telling moment he told the group part of the actual core of his dilemma "wasn't that I was attracted to men, it was that I wasn't comfortable with me." The journey to self-acceptance while dealing with being different from the 'norms' accepted or promoted by society including the glbti communities were also highlighted and all agreed that it was important for all the various sexualities in the 'gay communities" tell their stories so that others can learn and perhaps understand themselves together.
Credit: GayNZ.com Daily News staff
First published: Friday, 21st February 2014 - 6:30am