While most of us think of New Zealand as a place of beauty, we conveniently fail to see the reality of this wonderful country. We are so proud of the collective efforts of our All Black teams and the many in sports that bring recognition to the world of our sporting efforts that we subconsciously ignore the realities. Some of these realities affect us in only minor ways but others are far more serious in that they project to the world, for those that look deeper than the superficial, an insight, into what we accept as normal. By behaving and accepting of some of these issues we give a view of what life is like in New Zealand, not only to those overseas but more dramatically of just what is acceptable to our children. As sport and in particular rugby in New Zealand seems to be the most important to us, let’s take a look at some of the issues that get ignored, violence on the field, bullying of players and homophobic retorts by players to one another and by spectators toward anyone with a differing view. Don’t believe me! just take a look at only a few minutes of any video on an All Black game, players throwing punches for no other reason than someone gets in their way or someone they do not like. That could never be described as sportsmanship in my mind, thuggery seem more appropriate, yet it is acceptable because it takes place in sport! The problem of accepting such forms of violence in sport is that it extends all too easily into the daily lives of the everyday person and in particular the young. When a player urinates on the field in front of a viewing public, or the many that spit in high definition for everyone to see, what message does that send to those in their early years, still formulating what is acceptable? While this kind of thing may seem minor it has its affect on society nevertheless. In a country that prides itself on being an example of what is right, where our laws inform us of what should not happen, it is against the law to discriminate, to use acts of violence, yet all this happens in sport because it’s what the boys do, only they are not boys they are men and often men of age who should know better. Can we really call them men when the examples they all too often set are not the examples we would expect from our children, and how are they expected to know that what happens on the field is not reality in the real world. That it is ok to bash someone on the field but not ok in the street, I don’t get it and neither do so many kids. In a similar vein when a prominent, even a sports idol calls someone a faggot or even gay what message does that send. Sadly the idea of creating an idol of some of the people in sport serves the general public badly, when so many of us see whatever they do as acceptable because of who they are. The All Blacks want to be looked up to for their achievements, and rightly so, but all that comes with a price like it or not, their words and actions must be exemplary otherwise their being famous sends the wrong message. If they behave badly on the field then we must not be surprised that our young “would be All Blacks” do the same. The truth is all our sports people that as a society we look up to for whatever reason, must be aware of their actions as they too reside in our society, what they say, what they do will affect someone. By default they, in accepting societies accolades, have to accept the consequences of that reality. The organisations that represent these people must also recognise their importance of maintaining a societal standing worthy of their organisations inclusion within society. Society expects a standard that is befitting of all society and never fail to bring misdemeanours to the forefront no matter how embarrassing it might be to the player or the organisation. As for society we must change our attitudes to what is placed before us in the name of sport, violence and bullying is never acceptable, neither is discrimination or are homophobic comments, hate never had a place in a democracy and child abuse easily becomes a factor as a result of accepting something that is unacceptable in our lives. New Zealand Society demands more from all of us if we are truly to be an example to the world! Diane Sparkes - 22nd June 2013