GayNZ.com contributor Diane Sparkes responds to the heart-breaking story of a trans woman in the UK who has apparently taken her own life after being mocked and harassed by tabloids, in “an uncaring world that simply wouldn’t let her be herself.” File photo This is such a sad a story about the reality of being a transsexual person, while the media continues to remain uneducated on the issue it sees no problem with targeting in whatever way it can in order to sell its vile newspapers. Actually when I think about it the term newspapers is so wrong as being transgender is anything but news, having been around for thousands of years. What is news is that these huge organisations still employ people who look for those who are different, without ever the thought that what they write has the potential to destroy a life. While in itself that is hardly news, but we must ask ourselves, why as very slowly the world is making some headway towards accepting the normality of Trans* people in our daily lives, should a large influential publishing group like the Daily Mail, choose to employ an obviously outright and uneducated bigot in the first place, let alone print such rubbish. But then it is done and nothing can be said to bring back Ms Lucy Meadows. No doubt there will be those amongst us that still fail to see what all the fuss is about, and to them I would like to point out a few pertinent things. The term transgender is a totally incorrect term to use for those whose mind and body, do not, or never have matched. Instead the medical profession many years ago came up with the label Transsexual, this is an unfortunate choice as it leads those uneducated on such matters with the belief it has something to do with Sex. It is that reference that gets the excitement of the media and many others. A transsexual will have known something was wrong with how their mind sees their gender and the reality of the body; this in itself is very hard to come to terms with in our world of today. It is particularly difficult for those with a male body and a female mind, and I challenge every male who might read this, to go to the mirror, look at your manly image and then think, “hey that’s not me” I should look like a woman, I should be a woman. What would be your response, most likely you would think someone was playing a trick on you. Yet that is what every day brings if you are a transsexual. While once considered a mental issue this has been now removed, over the years various medical professionals who thought they knew the answer, failed to come up with a solution, just as in the same way they tried to find a fix for those who are gay. Now it is universally accepted the cure is to make the body match the mind by reassignment surgery and hormones! Those who have made this transition find a great relief at finally becoming whole, a mind and body match, even if the body is not perfect in reality. Ms Lucy Meadows made that transition and I am certain she would have been happy with her new self, she also set herself on a path that few can imagine, a path into the sometimes cruel world that sees discrimination, bigotry and violence as acceptable. That should have been it really, but for the intrusion by this Transphobic and most likely Homophobic man and his vile media colleagues seeking a story to sell newspapers at any cost. Without realising one very important fact, a Transsexual person lives on a very fine line, while they may be pleased with their transition to their true self, there will be many who simply will not accept them, sadly this even extends to family, a reason why so many trans* youth can be found homeless on the streets. An indictment of society indeed; where people simply are not allowed to be who they are, because they are different. Sometimes life becomes so difficult that there really is no way out, Lucy was probably the happiest woman in the world when she came out of surgery to the realisation she was a woman, at least anatomically. Yet it only took 3 months for her to realise the difficulties she faced, difficulties not of her making, but by an uncaring world that simply would not let her be herself, a world where spreading untruths, creating fear and selling rubbish in the guise of informing the people. Diane Sparkes is also campaigning against hate crime in NZ. On a personal level, I have come to believe in cases of this nature, suicide is so often the direct result of a segment of society that does not care. But where should responsibility be placed, this woman had everything to live for, her new life was just starting, but sadly her immediate society was not ready for her, so what choice did she have. After all, was she not like all of us, a human being where only so much can be tolerated? I sincerely hope that all those who took some part in the forcing of her final decision intentionally or not, are looking seriously at the part they played! Am I wrong or did the collective media of her immediate society play a big part in this sad story. What lessons must we all learn from this story? Author note: The term transsexual is used in this article is correct for an individual who has fully transitioned or is in the process of transitioning, elsewhere by the use of the asterisk Trans* a reference applies to all those who identify under the generally accepted transgender umbrella. Diane Sparkes - 25th March 2013