Sarah Morris and Jessie Rose The lesbian woman whose sexuality and life were used by her own mother in a submission against the marriage equality bill says she has forgiven her parents, who described the bill as "evil." Last week Penny Foote, in an intensely-felt and Christianity-based submission shared with her husband David, recounted to the public Select Committee hearing into the bill what she described as her daughter's choice of a "lesbian lifestyle" after a "terrible experience with men." Jessie Rose, 33, the couple's Whangarei-based artist daughter, who lives in a civil union partnership with her partner Sarah Morris and the couple's children, says she is sorry her mother "chose to disclose such personal information" and she finds it "hard to hear that that is, to my mum, the defining factor that has somehow made me gay." However, she feels no anger towards her mother and has already forgiven her. "I can forgive her for that," Rose says. "I already have, it's ok." David and Penny Foote make their submission Rose says she continues to love both her mother and her father, who she says has a history of passionate campaigning against such legislation as the decriminalisation of homosexuality and the introduction of civil unions. She admits that loving the parents who told the Select Committee that "homosexual conduct is repugnant" may seem ironic, "but they are lovely, lovely people. My dad is a tortured soul but I honestly can't say any wrong of them, I honestly can't." And she defends her parents' right to stand up for what they believe in, even if it is diametrically opposed to her own sexuality and life. "I've defended them to the hilt because they genuinely are good people. But other people don't get that. They just think 'David and Penny, they're just haters and they're this and they're that...' But they're not, they just stand up for what they believe in, like I would be proud of my daughter to stand up for what she believes in. It's weird, I wouldn't want to knock them for what they believe just the same as I wouldn't want them to knock me for what i believe... it's a weird catch-22." Although she has not had any specific feedback on the use of her life to oppose equality for glbti people, Rose says "close friends have had calls from other people, going 'Oh my gosh' and quite upset and angry in my defense." She believes her parents' submission will have the opposite effect to what they intended. "It's unfortunate because there's going to be a repercussion to them, not from me. Mum hasn't even mentioned it to me and I haven't told her that I know about it. And I probably won't to be honest. She's not going to know that it's going to backfire like it already has." Rose says she only came out to her family three years ago, fearing what she calls a "nightmare" reaction. "A few close friends knew but I kept it very under wraps for a long time," she says. "And also I was a mother and that was difficult because I didn't want my daughter... 'cos I knew what it was going to entail if I ever did come out and clearly I was right because it did turn into a nightmare." She says her parents are "baffled" by her sexuality. "My mum said it's the most traumatic thing that's ever happened to her, which is very sad, to know who I am will never be accepted by my family, because of their beliefs and interpretation of the bible." Rose pays tribute to her partner, Sarah Morris, who has shared her difficulties. "Fortunately I am lucky enough to have a very supportive and loving partner," she says, "even though its hard for her too to be in this situation."
Credit: GayNZ.com Daily News staff
First published: Saturday, 2nd February 2013 - 4:35pm