"No Longer Here" You threw up your walls I could see it through your smile Waiting for you to call I’ll be waiting here a while You put your arm around me I froze, I couldn’t move I lost myself for so long In lies I thought were true But now the fog is lifting White noise is almost gone I hope you’re happy one day When all is said and done I’m leaving this feeling Before it haunts my soul I’m bleeding this evening One thing I can’t control I’m leaving this feeling Before it ends in tears Now I’m nowhere to be found And my heart’s no longer here They let me fall too deep I’m hurt, I hit the ground You were so blind to me You never made a sound Risked my heart and lost a piece No escape, no way out I had to crash to save myself And kill all of my doubts I’m leaving this feeling Before it haunts my soul I’m bleeding this evening One thing I can’t control I’m leaving this feeling Before it ends in tears Now I’m nowhere to be found And my heart’s no longer here And I lost sleep over truths unsaid Been trying so hard, it messed up my head Your mouth said yes, your arms said no You shut me down, so I’m letting go “Surrender” Our eyes met like swords At the walls of your heart You sat there looking bored Now it’s tearing me apart Arms folded like a shield Kept me out in the cold Just tell me how you feel ‘Cause this is getting old Now we’re in the trenches But you’re not on my side Missing our adventures I don’t want to say goodbye So please put down your arms Long enough to let me in I promise you no harm I won’t be the same as him Please give me a chance I’ll be your defender Just this once I’ll ask So tell me you surrender Guns raised at the ready Not even bluffing this time So still you’re holding steady Afraid your heart will be mine We’re both poised for battle Who will win or lose Not feeling good at all ‘Cause you get to choose So please put down your arms Long enough to let me in I promise you no harm I won’t be the same as him Please give me a chance I’ll be your defender Just this once I’ll ask So tell me you surrender There’s no white flag It’s nowhere to be seen I’m not happy, I’m not sad I’m somewhere in-between You never gave me a chance I’m not your heart mender Too many times I’ve asked It’s my turn to surrender “Wide Open” I should have known much better Third party clues dragged me in I fell down the rabbit hole Waiting for us to begin I was tumbling fast No one slowed me down Reaching for a helping hand I’m still reaching now They all knew my weakness It was my Achilles heel I feel so stupid now For believing it was real I was wide open like I’ve never been before And I took your blows as they were keeping score I was wide open and I didn’t see All that time you weren’t into me Falling fast and I hit the sides Rebounding when I saw your face Cheeks burned from tears uncried Will I ever escape this place? Bruised and bleeding I’m on the ground I see truth in your eyes again If I’d cried I would’ve drowned Now you can’t see me as a friend I was wide open like I’ve never been before And I took your blows as they were keeping score I was wide open and I didn’t see All that time you weren’t into me I took their inch and I ran a mile Swept away by those words untrue Lost in the magic of your smile Falling for the idea of you I was wide open like I’ve never been before And it became something I could not ignore I was wide open, but now I’m breaking free I won’t linger here, some things aren’t meant to be - Chaz Harris If you have writing you would like to share, send it to news@gaynz.com Chaz Harris - 6th February 2013