Hayden Miles Amidst the nightmare of losing a loved young family member, Hayden Miles’ relatives have been faced with bitter allegations of intolerance in regards to his sexuality. In a letter to the gay community through GayNZ.com, Hayden’s uncle wants to set the record straight. Hayden’s family is able to comment a little more now that a woman previously described as a friend of the slain 15-year-old, Nicolette Vaux-Phillips, has been sentenced for to a year’s home detention for being an accessory after the fact to culpable homicide. The court heard she failed to intervene or seek help for Hayden as he lay dying, and she misled his family over what she knew about his whereabouts. The name suppression she initially received made it impossible for Hayden’s family to defend itself from accusations it had an issue with his sexuality, as his uncle explains in a letter that comes straight from the heart: "Originally I wrote to you and the members of the lgbt community asking for help in finding Hayden. I and the family wish to thank you and the lgbt community for all their help in what for Hayden's family has been and continues to be an absolute nightmare. Your most recent report implies that the Miles and Ward families had a problem with Hayden's reported sexual orientation. This conclusion probably results from the fact that Hayden's family wanted most of the original tribute videos taken down and the fact that the people who put them up imagined this was because Hayden's family were uncomfortable with reports of Hayden's sexual orientation and consequently these people indulged in very hurtful and open attacks on his relatives, especially Hayden's mother. This wasn't the case. Most of the original videos contained a picture of Hayden with Nicolette Vaux-Phillips, the accessory to his murder and this was what made the videos so offensive to the family. Hayden's poor mother was confronted with tribute videos to her murdered son that contained the image of a person who she knew was the accessory to her son's murder, a person who had covered up the crime for 111 days and had openly lied on Facebook. The pain of seeing that person being portrayed so publicly as a friend in tribute videos over the internet, caused all the family immense pain. Naturally the family objected to these videos but when it was requested that they be taken down, they were wrongly and publicly pilloried as being bigots. They were unable to defend themselves or give the true reasons why they wanted the videos removed or at least altered because of the continual name suppression on Nicolette Vaux-Phillips by the justice system. Hayden's family has always sought a dignified privacy in trying to deal with his murder and have only sought publicity or help when they felt it was necessary. Such a traumatic and painful event becomes much more painful when it has to be played out in the public eye. The family has tried to enable the grieving and healing processes for it members but obviously these will take time if not the rest of their lives for people like Hayden's mother, father and sisters. Also the family has been trying to protect the younger members of the family from the details of the crime and soften its consequent effects upon them emotionally. The trial of Gavin Gosnell that is supposed to start later this year will undoubtedly be a time of great emotional suffering for Hayden's family… In the trial of Nicolette Vaux-Phillips in which she received what one of Hayden's uncles called a joke, a sentence of just one year's home detention for being an accessory to murder, Justice Clifford told Hayden's family "No sentence this court can impose can cure the sadness and suffering that Hayden's death has brought about". You have to ask then, what is the point of the courts if they are not there to provide the victims of crime and their families with some sort of justice for the gross wrongs done to them, a sentence that brings some sort of closure. The ridiculously light sentence given to Nicolette Vaux-Phillips leaves only disgust, anger and cynicism. It also must raise questions on whether the justice system or those administering it "are fit for purpose" and whether it can act as a deterrent when such inconsequential sentences are handed out for such serious crimes. This sentence must be of concern for all parents in New Zealand as it almost greenlights the most serious of crimes against some of the most vulnerable people in society – our children. The family and friends of Hayden hope that GayNZ.com and the lgbt community and indeed everyone in New Zealand will continue to support the family's quest for justice for Hayden who certainly deserves better justice than he is getting... I went online today to read that another young gay New Zealander Zakk d’Larte nearly met the same fate as Hayden but he was luckier. Hayden's family is like a lot of Kiwi families in that it contains people of different sexual orientations and who of course have differing opinions of these matters but the love for each other and an approach of gentle tolerance and understanding binds us all together. Hayden's murder has forced us into a public role we never wanted or sought but we will do our utmost to try and get justice for Hayden and closure for his family. - on behalf of Hayden Miles who we all miss." [Editor's note: Some parts of this letter have been edited to comply with Justice Denis Clifford's suppression of all details and comments on the manner of Hayden's death, and what followed, due to the upcoming trial of Gavin John Gosnell, who is charged with Hayden's murder. Gosnell will appear at the High Court in Christchurch for a pre-trial hearing next month. GayNZ.com Daily News will report from the court.] Did you know Hayden Miles? Do you know Nicolette Vaux-Phillips or Gavin John Gosnell? Email news@gaynz.com GayNZ.com - 31st May 2012