Willie John Ahsee (Pic: TVNZ) Too often Auckland's gay community has been shocked by the violent overreaction of some young men to blatant homosexuality. Denis Phillips was stabbed to death for trying it on with a young South Aucklander, Willie John Ahsee. Trevor Kaukau was left brain-damaged after making a lewd suggestion to Sitaleki Langi Koloamatangi. Over the years there have been heaps more reported incidents, some possibly apocryphal, but intolerance of homosexuality rooted in South Auckland is too often a factor in anti-gay violence. Stories of roving groups of young Polynesian men attacking gays at night in public parks emerge from time to time, as do incidents of aggressive anti-gay behaviour by 'young, drunk, brown guys' on even the gayest street in the country, Karangahape Road. In recent years GayNZ.com reporters have spent time in the courts observing the defendants in some of the more public gay-bashing and gay killing cases. In a classic and sadly representative recent case the young Polynesian man accused of a horrific crime against a gay man appeared to have a low level of educational attainment, probably wasn't very skilled at organising his life, and appeared to have fallen into street life, hanging around, "getting by, hustling for dollars and smokes, hanging with his mates on the streets, with anyone who's got a few dollars or a car to go somewhere. Not really going anywhere," says 'Sione,' filling in the picture. "Limited options." So that he can talk freely with GayNZ.com, 'Sione' has asked that his name and a few identifying factors be changed or blurred over. In his mid 30s now, Sione grew up in South Auckland, a gay Samoan New Zealander who all his life has observed attitudes to homosexuality in his own neighbourhood, amongst the schoolmates, street hustlers and gang members who were his friends. Eventually he escaped that mindset and began to chart his own course. He still lives 'in' his old neighbourhood but he's not 'of' it so much anymore. How does someone end up living by their wits, associating with gangs and treading the fine line between posturing aggression and violence in South Auckland? "It's the home," says Sione. "Every example in my neighbourhood, in my area, is different, but it depends on the household and the people. If the home's not good the kids don't want to be there. And they'll get out. They get to to high school age wanting to rebel, they don't want to listen, they're bored with school... the ones that do well at school will tend to stay at home, the ones that don't... well, usually you can see the trouble as early as third form. I can remember in the third form the guys from my neighbourhood who are bad now were bad then." What were the signs in the third form? "Truancy, grouping together in little mini-gangs, acting thuggish, standing people over for stuff. There used to be a massive problem in Sth Auckland with the TCG gang, the Tongan gang that was around town... I knew the people that started that gang and I saw the whole thing escalate from three friends in the classroom in the third form to two years later busloads of boys in town at downtown hanging around, everyone on the last bus going home. "One situation I remember clearly was going home on the Mangere bus with three busses going at the same time. A disagreement broke out between a group of guys from Mangere East and a group of guys rom Mangere Bridge. They started mouthing off on the bus. Everyone was just watching, waiting for something to happen. Then the bus driver was like: 'You know what, you guys just keep it cool until we get to Onehunga.' When we got to Onehunga he stopped the bus. The entire bus got off, formed two lines and a group of guys got into a fight. And the bus driver just stood there and watched the whole thing. He couldn't do anything and it was his way of trying to control the situation. They stopped fighting after ten or fifteen minutes... and then they said 'We'll finish it off at Mangere Town Centre.' That's the type of behaviour, and that was fifth formers." Just as the gay communities and gay friends often become substitute families for many young gay people who pull away from their parents and siblings to try to be themselves (the coded phrase "Is he 'family'?" coyly asked by a previous generation had its roots in this trend), young disaffected South Auckland kids are too often drawn to the culture of gangs and street life as a substitute family. "That's it. If you've got a bad home you've got a way of having your home there with these guys, even though it's negative. That's what the pull of the gang is... it's a group of people that are all grouped together in the same neighbourhood, in the same economic situation, the same mental attitude and education with limited options. And they all pull together. "On that bus that day I knew everyone on the bus except from the guys from Mangere East who were the guys that started the fight. All of us felt safe because we were all together. Looking back on it now I can see that hanging out in a group is intimidating to other people. I dislike it now when I see groups walking along and they don't make space for other people. Just yesterday I got bumped by a group of young people all walking in a line, all young, ill-mannered, talking loudly... not acting overtly aggressive, but in their behaviour..." Would they do it more to Sione as a youngish brown guy than to, say, an authority figure like a businessman or a minister? "Yes, they don't really look at the other people unless they mouth off or say something or draw attention to themselves. " What elements in the home lead to these problems? "A big problem is the stranglehold of religion... I mean, in Samoan and Tongan families, some kids are scared to come out just because the family all go to church." Is supporting the church and its teachings always 'good?' "Yes... blind faith. Gay is bad. And if you disagree you can be kicked out. " Your elders and their views must always be respected and obeyed? "Yes, anyone older than you." If your minister and your religion and your parents and your aunties and cousins are saying homos are bad, how does that affect attitudes to gays, or those perceived to be gay? "I've seen people in other groups being called 'faggot!, poofter!' I've got a first cousin who uses the word 'poofter' freely... now his kids, aged 10 and 9, walk around and when someone does something it's 'Oh you poofter!' and start laughing. It's an insult, it’s homophobic. His ranting and raving has rubbed off in his environment on his children. So now the next generation of kids are using the word but not reasoning or understanding how harmful the word is to individuals who might be gay. " "Gay, poofter, or faggot, it's always negative, never in a positive light," says Sione. "It's always a putdown, always a bad thing. It's because of that that I was definitely scared, especially to come out to my friends. My family, I thought, well they're going to have to deal with it because they are stuck with me... but I was still scared. Scared because my family was raised religiously to think: "That's sick, that's against God." We often hear that in Pacific cultures, up in the Islands particularly, there is a more relaxed attitude to sexuality, everything from fafaafine to married men occasionally having it off with a guy and it's brushed under the carpet. Is that the reality? "In the Samoan mix it is very twisted because it's alright to be fafaafine but otherwise you are expected to go off and get married and have your kids. Being a fafaa is accepted because they do the jobs, go with the girls and do the washing and the cooking... expectations that are usually put on the girls are put on the fafaafine. And because they do it they get their space. "I was talking to a guy in a gay sex on site venue last night," Says Sione. He told me he is going to Samoa in two weeks with his wife and kids. He goes to the venue every week or so and it's sad because he can't be who he really wants to be. He has this cultural thing that is ingrained in him and overrides his common sense." In the Denis Phillips case his killer, a by now tidied up and conservatively dressed Willie Ahsee, reacted strongly in court to the suggestion that there had been any sexual contact between him and his victim. To say he 'reacted strongly' is an understatement... he hit the roof... shouted and swore in court. He was incredibly agitated by somebody publicly suggesting that he had had some sort of sexual contact with another man. It seemed that, if he is gay, people would find out. And if he's not gay and didn't even do anything sexual, even if people thought that he might have then that was just as bad. That he would be forever known as the guy who sucked a cop's cock. In that 'street' environment what are the implications of being suspected of being a known or suspected 'cocksucker?' "A hiding. From your mates. Even your good mates will turn. It's seen as being weak, immoral, it's something you can use to pick on somebody... though it depends on the individual and the person or people who are doing the abusing. You're in an environment where everyone's saying gay is 'bad! bad! bad!' and telling you that you should be 'staunch staunch staunch, this is the way it is, this is keeping it real!' I hate that." What is 'keeping it real?' "Being hetero, hanging out with your boys and getting drunk, getting married, having kids, that's keeping it real. Looking after your family, but in a negative way. Being macho, not being effeminate... that's the easiest way to ID it. Being straight. Being gay is the total opposite of that in their eyes, for whatever reason. 'Keeping it real' is being loud, stupid, aggressive... it's being an idiot." Sione laughs, a sad kind of laugh dripping with irony. "Young, drunk and full of cum. Dudes like that, that fit that mould, that's basically what it is. And the younger ones look up to the older ones who are the big tough dudes. You see the young ones showing those ones respect. "I was in a sex on site venue and one bad dude from our neighbourhood came in and he looked like he nearly had a heart attack when he saw me. Now this guy is a hard core, drug dealing, gang member, he's been in jail, he's in my neighbourhood and he hustles. When he saw me he freaked out. In the neighbourhood he's got a missus, kids, walks around on Tuesdays and Thursdays - those are the dole days in the hood - you see him walking around with his pitbull on a chain, his jacket on, dark glasses, bumping into people... his gayness is a little bit of him that even he hides... it's his secret weakness and he hides it. "I look at these kind of guys and my first cousin and I wonder what will happen if one of their kids is gay or meets up with someone gay. What's it going to do to a kid being raised in an environment like that." To a young kid hustling with his mates on the streets of South Auckland, meeting someone who is apparently well set up, affluent, for whom money is no problem and who himself may be on the make for sex or companionship... is that man someone to be taken advantage of? "The hustlers will get what they want by any means necessary. Usually it's dudes that don't want to work, that have an attitude about authority. Being sneaky and devious. They don't care who they hurt, they don't care what is done. They have no remorse for their actions. Advantage. It's all about advantage. A kid who's hustling comes from limited options. But if he goes back more than once into a situation then he wants something and he knows what he's doing. You're not that dumb... why are you going drinking with older guys that aren't from your hood, that aren't your boys. But if things go wrong it's easy to overreact. It's like a fight in the hood when people get drunk.... they can be sitting there singing along and next minute they're all hitting each other." As an interesting footnote, over the years Sione bumped into the late Denis Phillips several times. "He was always nice and pleasant and well-mannered to me. I thought he was lonely. I'd seen him a couple of times at the venues, he'd pick up younger guys. It happens... an older guy who is lonely looking to someone who'll give him a bit of time... and sometimes that's a younger guy looking for some advantage." In Part Two of this feature story later this week Sione observes life for young gay kids from neighbourhoods like his own and explains how he managed to carve out a life independent of the negative influences of the neighbourhood. Jay Bennie - 7th February 2012