Sat 24 Dec 2005 In: Ask Our Expert View at Wayback View at NDHA
Aaron of Christchurch writes: I have only recently come out at 52, feel secure in myself and am enormously attracted to a lovely man. We have only cuddled and kissed so far and I am sure both want to go further. But for the first time in my (previously married) life I recently slipped my hand inside a shirt and found... chest hair! This is something I had not thought about and, to be honest, it's rather foreign and off-putting! I'm getting a bit of a mental block about it. Help! Bill says: Hmm. Chest hair. Well, Aaron, some of us have it. And some of us find it a real turn-on. But some of us don't. And some of us find it a turn-off. And some of us switch—both in taste for other men's hair and in whether we let our own hair grow. There's a fashion cycle—I'm not quite sure exactly what phase it is in right now, because my taste cycle doesn't quite mesh with the fashion cycle—but hairiness is certainly more trendy than it used to be. Perhaps it has something to do with the bear movement. Actually, perhaps it would pay you to look at some bear porn. You might find it helps you get accustomed to it. You might even get to like it. Or when you talk to your man about this—and it's certainly worth talking about—you might find he's perfectly happy to do something to meet your tastes. In a way you're lucky. What if you lusted after hairiness and your chosen one was hairless? At least someone who is hairy has the option of shaving. Jacquie says: I sympathize, I think it is just awful as well! We all have different tastes when it comes to partners and lovers, so I guess you and I will never come across each other at a bear convention. Several solutions come to mind. Find a new lover without chest hair, and avoid the ones with back hair and horrible tufts growing out of their shoulders; or talk your lover into having a body wax... you never know there probably is a beautiful body justwaiting to come out and blow you away. Ok now the serious stuff. I see you are 52 and married and have recently come out, well good for you. I am going to make some assumptions and hope I am right. You possibly have repressed your gay side for a very long time and still do not feel as comfortable as you say you are, I think that is natural you are entering uncharted territory and I suspect so is your friend. Why not do activities like going for a swim that way you can start to familiarize your self with another man's body close up. When the reality hits nature will take it's course, This is what you have been dreaming about for so long, now you have taken the plunge- go for it. GayNZ.com - 24th December 2005