We're adding some new writers to our stable. Here's an introduction to "Lesbotron", who will blow The Real L Word out of the water in her frank accounts of life as an urban New Zealand lesbian in her 20s. Lesbos and gentlemen, welcome, to my world. A world where reality is blurred with fiction, where normal doesn't exist and life, well life is one amazing roller coaster I just don't want to get off of. Ok, maybe it's not that exciting but I sure wish it was. In reality I'm just another lesbo who happens to experience the most random things which is probably why they thought my life was interesting enough to write about. This wasn't always the case though. Let me start with a little history about me but let's not go too far back because it's exhausting even just thinking about all the crap I've gotten up to. Before this awesome opportunity came up to talk about myself, I was in a relationship with someone who just was not right for me. We argued about everything, well she argued and I zoned out, to her the way I spoke wasn't good enough, the way I slept was irritating, I go out too much, I don't go out enough, I could go on but just like my leash back then, this page isn't long enough. But I'm not going to bad mouth my ex because she was lovely but our relationship was far from it. We wanted two different things, she wanted forever and I, well, I wanted out. So after three years of…well after three years we called it quits and I have to say, I think it was definitely for the best. Two months down the track and I'm sitting in front of a blank page thinking about what to write. And in all honesty this all came about when I was drunk and a very good friend of mine said to me that I should blog about my life. So I said “hell yeah!” and then days later I couldn't come up with anything to write about. Until…Facebook has always been a great procrastination tool. Every time I sat down to write I ended up on Facebook having random conversations with my friends about our crazy weekend or crazy life in general. Then, light bulb, who better to write about than my amazing friends who, without them, my life would be so…boring. Let me start by publicly apologising to my amazing bros for neglecting them while I was in my relationship. I always said that when I get into a relationship I would never neglect a friend but I did and to tell you the truth I was shit scared about meeting up with my friends again because I didn't know if it was going to be that “hey, how are you?” and the “what you been up to?” and then hawkward silence. With some help from my lesbro, a lesbian's fag hag if you will, I managed to grow some lady balls and send the text message to meet up with my friends and what followed is a blur of epic nights out. I've been out of the queer scene for so long so I didn't know what to expect getting back into it. The first person I decided to reconnect with was coincidentally the first lesbian I ever met in Auckland, and she happened to be the one to hook me up with this blog. After a few glasses of scotch, way to my heart btw ladies…ok maybe my pants…just for future reference, and epic catch up talks, she ended up introducing me to some amazing people that I ended up being friends with, cause Facebook tells me so. That night I ended up dancing at Family bar with people I only met that night and dance battling some guy trying to be sleazy and trying his ins on a lesbo who looked creeped out. A few weeks later and a few more catch ups with all my bros, I have ended up with new acquaintances, massive hangovers and a new found realisation that I need a filter when I drink. But the biggest thing for me is that my friends helped me find something that I lost…I found me. My lesbro told me that no matter how long you disappear for, your real friends are the ones that will totes always be there and this is my official THANK YOU to my bros. Lesbotron - 11th April 2011