Out of a sense of duty I tuned into Kiwifruit, and was rewarded with a fun (and breathless) show! Donald Hollingsworth visited an Erotica Lifestyle show that proved to be mainly for the straights except for a drink named "Gay". Why? the cute bartender had no idea. But Hollingsworth got an interview with porn star Evan who was keen to wave his flaccid willy around (a penis on state telly at 11pm? No! Yes!) and confided he might do gay porn if he was paid enough. But so far, no takers. Also lady porn star Tera admitted that yes, sometimes she went off to work and discovered that it was girl-on-girl action that day, but, no, she preferred men. Hollingsworth submitted himself to some bondage equipment and a whipping while still dressed in his working duds and generally a good time was had by all. An Asian girl dancer waving some flags around was a hoot and the SPCA were in fundraising attendance. Aww, isn't that nice. And, for you animal lovers out there, Hollingsworth has a Jack Russell. Scott Stephens, the brainiac member of the team, came up with the same conclusions as GayNZ.com about the Maxim Institute and their use of statistics - they just make them up to suit themselves and further their homophobic ranting. And as for National's Dr Wayne Mapp - yes, he's looking after the Main Stream alright - all two of them! Amanda Rees proved the most sophisticated of the team with a getaway guide to Sydney aimed at the girls. Armed with the handy phrase "G'day I'm a Lezzo", Amanda seemed to spend most of her stay eating (at the Aqua restaurant with a faboo view of some old swimming baths beside that bridge) and drinking - first at Gilligans, the girls' bar in the Oxford complex, and finally crashing out with cocktails and faboo local chicks at Bitch club. When she needed somewhere to recover Amanda did so at the Medusa, whose campy manager assured her was a gay friendly boutique hotel, while Amanda managed to describe the place by using the word 'marvellous' many, many times over. A pretty boy with a beard rapidly pushed product at us as diverse as cocktails, Michael Parekowhai art works and the Diesel website. Just as I feared for my synapses and wondered if the editor was ready for a nervous breakdown, the show ground to a halt and sent itself up silly with a gorgeous pisstake about a really boring (and I'm sure, typical) gay couple who were watching, naturally, the telly. Still, I had only tuned in for those lesbian puppets and they were nowhere to be seen. Guess I'll have to watch it again next week. * On B and there's emotion and powerful, truly felt emotion at that - Auntie Mabel (unlike the other more sympathetic aunties) to a pregnant 14 year old - "You treat sex like McDonalds! It's not McDonalds!" (You'll recognise Auntie Mabel -she's one of the women at the bus stop in that corker Four Square commercial.) So - to borrow a phrase from Beverly - last night's telly left me as full as Gerry Brownlee's plate at a buffet. Kiwifruit, TV2, Mondays 11pm B