In this podcast Faye talks about identifying as genderqueer demisexual pansexual.
This podcast was made possible through generous support from Ara Taiohi
Summary
In the podcast titled "Faye - Beyond Rainbows," recorded in Wellington, Aotearoa New Zealand, the interviewee discusses their experiences identifying as genderqueer, demisexual, and pansexual. The individual describes their gender identity as fluctuating, noting that it changes daily and can range from feeling more masculine to more feminine, or sometimes feeling devoid of gender entirely. The complexity of their sexual attraction is also highlighted; it's explained that an emotional connection is a prerequisite, often requiring months of friendship before attraction develops.
During their youth, the interviewee observed early signs of being different regarding sexuality when playing with dolls, fantasizing about various pairings regardless of gender. Their gender identity began to crystallize in high school, affirming the fluidity that had always been present. Coming out as bisexual occurred in a supportive peer environment, however, family understanding was challenged by their extreme Christian beliefs. This led to a certain level of discretion and caution, especially when faced with familial expectations and misconceptions.
Faye also expresses the cultural complexities of being Māori and navigating identity within the context of traditional family structures. They note encountering challenges in discussing sexuality and gender identity with family members, who often hold rigid views on these subjects. Furthermore, finding authentic representations and role models within their conservative hometown was difficult.
Upon moving to Wellington for university, Faye found more comfort and freedom in expressing and exploring their identity, thanks to a diverse and accepting community. Here, the nuances of selecting and wearing clothes were highlighted as a critical aspect of expressing gender fluidity. Faye emphasizes the importance of clothing as a means to align external appearance with internal identity, even though it sometimes feels inadequate or restrictive.
Parenthood, for Faye, introduced unique challenges in navigating personal gender identity alongside societal expectations and familial pressure to conform to gender binaries. The impact on their child and the prospect of explaining their gender to a three-year-old is discussed with contemplation about future conversations.
Faye reflects on the layers of invisibility and stereotypes encountered within both queer and non-queer communities, particularly concerning the traditional narrative that pregnancy and parenthood are incompatible with queer identities. The misconceptions about sexuality and its relationship with having a child are also confronted, revealing societal biases and contradictions.
The podcast also addresses broader issues facing genderqueer and pansexual communities, noting the persistent resistance and misunderstanding from segments of society. Faye advises that, no matter the adversity faced, one should remain authentic to oneself, finding solace and support in chosen communities and relationships rather than succumbing to negativity from those who refuse to understand or accept.
Faye's story provides an insightful perspective on the intricacies of queer identity within a traditionally conservative societal structure while also offering guidance and hope to others traversing similar paths.
This summary is created using Generative AI. Although it is based on the recording's transcription, it may contain errors or omissions. Click here to learn more about how this summary was created.
Voices
Tags
2010s, acceptance, advice, aotearoa new zealand, ara taiohi, attraction, beyond rainbows (series), binding, bisexual, catholic school, children, christianity, clothing, coming out, community, confidence, demisexual, dolls, family, farm, femininity, fetishism, friends, gender, gender binary, gender identity, genderqueer, health education, internet, invisibility, isolation, kink, language, monosexual, māori, pansexual, parents, pregnancy, pronouns, religion, role model, rural, school, school uniform, sex, sexuality, stereotypes, surgery, tabby besley, tomboy, uniq victoria (wellington), university, wellington, whānau, youth
Tags (computer generated)
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