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How do you fit four. Gaze on the chair by turning it upside down. Faggot. Faggot, Faggot, Faggot. A gay male who who's done something wrong? Someone who's annoyed someone because it's always said, Oh, [00:00:30] you a pretty nasty word. Actually, I don't like it very much. It's very derogatory. Uh, it's very much a put down, and I tend to feel that it's used quite often as an insult. And, uh, and it means to hurt and put people down and that I, I just don't like it. Faggot. Um, once, I guess when I first heard this word, I would have have said [00:01:00] that it was a word to do with, uh, pictures of old peasants and Children's drawing books carrying bundles of twigs or bundles of branches. Um, it's a word which I remember, I think probably first hearing at school. Uh, this was a single sex. This is a A Catholic boys, um, secondary school in the 19 seventies, and the word faggot was a term of of abuse, not incredibly common. Much more common effect was the and a much worse term of abuse. Really. Um, and used then was the word Jew. Um, the situation [00:01:30] now I would imagine will be reversed. I'm gay. I always associate gay with being nice and bright and normal and happy and cheerful Everything. That's sort of nice about the world and life. And so I consider myself gay. I also don't mind using the word homosexual because that's who I am. I would define myself probably as gay. Although I don't really tend to, um, [00:02:00] yeah, I have a preference not to put myself in a box. I happen to know that I am homosexual, but yeah, I don't really use the word to define my sexuality, but if I was, it probably would be gay. Uh, I sort of find gay, uh, sort of, uh, it's less sort of harsh than than homosexual. Just not, as you know, that that has sort of old fashioned connotations or something. It's just not, and it's a bit of a mouthful. [00:02:30] Anyway, um, I don't like queer because it means sort of different. And plus it also does, like, encompass the whole sort of gay, lesbian, bisexual transgender away for anything which II. I just prefer gay because it's a simple word, which which is just sort of what I am. Um, some people don't like it because of its negative. Like they think some people think gay. [00:03:00] Oh, no. Have sex in public toilets. Um, let's say next thing. But I don't sort of see gay as that homosexual. This is a very clinical, uh, scientific word I would feel that's used to define, um, somebody who has relationships, um, with somebody of the same sex and defines them quite clinically again. It's not a word I'd use in common conversation, [00:03:30] often homosexual, the clinical word. The word, which is a definition which has been in the past, certainly used against gay people. Um, a word, um, which belongs to, um, the word of doctors or psychiatrists. Um, a word in which other people have sought to define what it means to be gay, homosexual, someone who's I his attraction to [00:04:00] the same sex, Uh, not someone who's questioning war or bisexual, someone who's fully blown full blown to the same sex feelings. To me, that means somebody who is probably very effeminate and probably also in a, uh, probably getting into dressing up as a woman dressing up in female clothes [00:04:30] and almost sort of, uh, being out there on the game selling themselves, giving themselves freely, Um, for some recompense of some kind. Nancy. Probably an odd word for for me. I don't, uh, have any recollection of of, uh, the meaning for this, Um, the images that would conjure up for me is somebody you know who who represents kind of [00:05:00] somebody who dresses like a woman, I guess. A man who dresses like a woman, you know who's who's a Yeah, and I guess that it's a feminine type of word. Nancy, when I think of Nancy, I sort of think some some guy who prances around extremely queeny, lumped pinky finger out. I mean, um, possibly someone who dresses up and and and female [00:05:30] clothes or who wears like, androgynous clothing and stuff or someone who looks completely androgynous, but someone who's very, very effeminate queen rich historical associations with this word. Think of it as being as really 1/19 century word, Um, perhaps even a little bit earlier, I guess. And one which, um, denotes in its New Zealand context, I think, um, a certain way of behaving a certain [00:06:00] kind of campiness, a certain kind of bitchiness, um, a certain kind of, um, set of associations in terms of behaviour. Also, in terms of language I was intrigued on, um, on sort of entering into gay life. Um, at at the, uh, um, sort of older men, um, people who were then in their fifties and older, Um, all of whom seemed to have, um, uh, female, um, nicknames. And, um, and the whole idea of queens. The whole idea of, um, behaving in like a sort of pseudo women was just absolutely [00:06:30] part of the, uh, quite mystique, but certainly part of the practise of what it meant to be gay. Um, I suppose we're operating in a really simple level. It it it allowed people in conversation, for example to say, um oh, did you see Sylvia last night? Um, wasn't she looking absolutely gorgeous when, of course, Sylvia might have been the nickname for, say, Sam. Um and so it was a kind of code language or or or linked into the kind of code language, which was, um, a language of [00:07:00] safety Queen. To me, a queen is a is somebody who is very, very effeminate and flamboyant, uh, probably over the top and almost forcing their who they are and what they are on to other people in such a way as to almost be, uh, obnoxious queen. [00:07:30] And it's it's a cheap kind of impolite, or or maybe even at times, a polite slang on on a, um, on a guy who's who is homosexual, Um, I don't see it as as a put down. It's It's a fun word, I guess, in many ways and in joking or or uh, banter situations, it would be a word that I would feel OK about using. Although II I try to less and less use use languages that that box people, um, or individuals [00:08:00] into family, the people who you're related to and the people you love, but not sort of. I don't when I think of family, I don't Some people use it like, Oh, he's family, referring to someone else who's also gay. I don't like to think of it that way, because family is something which you have A. A tie to family family [00:08:30] is in a gay senses, probably for me. I would use it as a means of identifying with a select close group being unable to sort of be open with my own A blood family, the gay group [00:09:00] and the gay scene as family have replaced that, um, brotherly and sisterly and mother and father type image within my life. Family makes me feel that I am part of a closest community and close group gay. I think this is perhaps partly because of the period in which I learned [00:09:30] about it and came to use it. Um, it seems to me to be very positive and also very all embracing term, um, so planted perhaps by the word queer nowadays for young people nowadays, but, um, still one, which is, um, they've been very usefully shown the power, if you like of, um, using language to redefine yourself and redefine and redefining language and what the word means redefining what it means. Um, you know what? Your own sense of self worth, your own sense of self identity? Ok, [00:10:00] a person who isn't heterosexual. Uh, but not necessarily queer. Someone who who was homosexual but not bisexual but can include men and women gay. It's a word I use probably more common than anything else to describe. Uh, my sexuality now and people of of similar, um something which is quite modern and accepted in my terminology. [00:10:30] Uh, I feel very comfortable using it, I guess, um, as a descriptive kind of word. Define the gay community. Uh, I'd say the gay community in Wellington was fragmented, Quite disjointed. Um, I'd say that they can generally tend to be a bunch of, um, of self obsessed, egocentric jerks. Really? To be [00:11:00] honest, I'm not very fond of the gay community as such. Well, the stereotypical gay community. Yeah, I think they're quite Posy. And, um hm could do with a bit of a reality check. Let's be honest. I don't think the gay community as a community exists. I think that people who are gay are actually too diverse to really be, um, legitimately, Um uh, to fall under a single definition. Like the community community, for example, presumes that you have, um, this community of interest, [00:11:30] that there's enough similarity between people who are gay, uh, in terms of a whole range of social attitudes in terms of class, in terms of interests and so on which I don't actually think is true. I don't consider myself queer. Queer to me means odd and different. And very, um, out of the out of the ordinary and out of the normal. I am not queer. I [00:12:00] consider myself normal. I consider myself ordinary. Um, and I, like other people, think of me that way. What? It's queer to them. It's probably queer to me, so it can be used either way. And I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't like to be called queer just because they're not normal and not the same as me. Someone who's gay, lesbian, trans gendered, bisexual, whatever, even if they're [00:12:30] not quite you know any of those anything that's sort of different from from being heterosexual. So So even someone who's in the closet, even Yeah, that's someone who's not quite someone who's either fully blown homosexual or not Quite heterosexual words love. And, um, I guess it's the one that needs [00:13:00] a big thought, a big question mark after it, probably the most special of all words to use in terms of sexuality, no matter what their sexuality is. It's a word that, uh, you know, I would personally reserve, um and and guard very carefully on on when I use it. Um, it's very important. Probably would probably the most important in our vocabulary and the one with with the most deepest feelings [00:13:30] and emotions attached to it when it's used love Wow, uh, love to me as a meeting of minds and probably personalities as well, coming together and totally being accepted and accepting in all facets and aspects of who you are. Love [00:14:00] when people have a a deep emotional bond to they more than, like six and more like a more than a crush, something that sort of will go on forever. Well, I'm a bit of a romantic, I guess, some something that that's pure and and and that will last [00:14:30] for a long time. The first word I've got is family. Family for me means my family that is my mother and father and my brother and sister and their and my yeah, my direct family grandparents, et cetera, et cetera. Family can also mean for me, it's another way of finding out whether someone's gay. I can say to them, Are you family? And they will either look at me blankly, and I'll know they're not in a gay sense of the word, or I'll become immediately aware that they are homosexual as well, but generally family [00:15:00] is exactly that. Family sex is the next word. Sex is a sexual connection or intercourse between two consenting partners. Love, love is something that is very hard to find. Love is something that I would like to aim for. It is my ultimate goal in a relationship, and I'd like to think that by being in a relationship, I would be in love with somebody queer. Well, [00:15:30] I used to be quite offended by this term. And when I was younger, it certainly used to mean that if someone was queer, they were a bit strange. Very strange indeed, my mother would often say, Well, more recently, she would say, Craig, stop being so queer and I'd say that's because I am and she really didn't appreciate that. But, um, probably nowadays, this word is I've tried to take this word on along with the rest of the community, and, um, I turned it around to be a positive word to describe sexuality, although personally, I would not tend to describe myself as queer, but may refer to other people [00:16:00] as queer because that suits them. But it doesn't necessarily suit me, but I might get there on that word. Well, well, it's not a nice word, and we there is. It is really, for me, a word that I associate with homosexuality. And it's a word that I don't like and don't tend to use. Gay. Well, when I was younger and gay was, of course, when Johnny came marching home, we'd all feel gay, and it meant happy, smiling, friendly things. Now, of course, it can mean lots [00:16:30] of other things, But generally I tend to associate this with my sexuality, and I use it as a word to describe my sexuality. Homosexual. Well, one of the first words I became acquainted with when I was figuring out that I was a bit different than was homosexual. Um, yes, it's a word I will use to describe myself. I will say that I'm a homosexual male. It's a word that I'd use more formally to describe my sexuality. Um, probably if I was being in a friendly mood, I would say gay. But if I'm being quite formal about my sexuality, [00:17:00] I describe myself as homosexual, and it's a word that I associate with male males. It is not a word that I associate with gay females. Faggot. Well, faggot's a bunch of sticks, believe it or not, and it's an interesting word. And even though it's a bunch of sticks, I've never quite figured out how that relates to me and the people around me. But apparently it is a very, very derogatory word to describe a homosexual, and I do find it very derogatory. I'm quite happy to use it myself if need be. But I really don't appreciate [00:17:30] other people using it to describe me. In fact, I'm horrendously offended if someone uses it to describe me. I'm quite happy to use it to describe myself if I'm being silly or stupid, but I believe it is my word. And it is a word that that only the gay community should be able to use to describe themselves. And I would take extreme offence if it was used more generally. And those are all I have time for. These are all the words I have. I have now finished these words. I've done them in a very matter of fact, kind of way. But that's just the mood I'm in. So there you go.
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