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[00:00:30] Welcome. Thank you so much for coming tonight. Uh, we are so excited to be here to launch The archive is alive. Volume two, the gin. Um, how this is gonna run is I'm gonna pass over to Will Henson, And he's gonna give you, uh, [00:01:00] amazing talk. I was gonna say little, but it probably won't be little. An amazing if anyone knows, will, um, we was gonna talk a bit about the I don't know idea behind this project, um, and why it's important. And yeah, just a bit about the of this, this thing, uh, in the the archives project more broadly, Um, and, yeah, a bit about the importance of Logans as well. Um, yeah. And then after that, we're gonna welcome [00:01:30] any of the Zen contributors up to just give a brief little talk to you about their page and a bit of background information about it. Um, or their experience of this awesome project? Yeah. And then So that will probably take about half an hour. And then after that, have another drink. You know, chat to your neighbour, meet some new people. Cool. Thank you so much. Everyone. Um thank you all. So much [00:02:00] for coming out tonight. Uh, for those who don't know me, my name is Will Henson. I'm a trans historian, and I'm a trustee of the Lisbon and Gay Archives of New Zealand, otherwise known as legs. Um, I'm really excited to launch. The second edition of our archive is a live scene, um, which was made in collaboration between Lagan and the National and Wellington Zine Fest with the generous support of the national library. Um, so thank you. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. So for those of you who are new to the archive of Align [00:02:30] the live zine series, um, welcome, This project was born because Caitlin and I, uh, were studying history at university. And we got really frustrated with how inaccessible archives and history, um, were to mo are to most people. Um, And although we try really hard at Lagan to make history and archiving accessible, we are entirely volunteer run and we rely on grants and the goodwill of donors to survive. So if you have money, I'll give a little is online. Just Google give a little leg Rainbow history. [00:03:00] It'll come up anyway. So to see our archives, you have to be on site in Wellington, you have to have the confidence and the privilege to navigate an archival institution. Um, and it's not easy, especially if you're a young person, so it can be really daunting and intimidating. And we wanted to, um, Wellington and work together on this project because we wanted to try and be helpful to our community. Um, believing that queer youth needed to be uplifted. Um, well, this is my favourite students. I say it all the time and it sounds cheesy, but I'm a pisces. So [00:03:30] I think it's OK. We we believe that queer youths need to know that you are history in the making. Your life is important, your archive is important. And I hope that everyone who engages with the zine can understand that and can feel the same. So, uh so although the first volume of the archive is alive was focused more generally on aotearoa beautiful queer history. Um, when Liam and Caitlin suggested to me that this edition should be, um, exclusively [00:04:00] focused on trans history, I was pretty excited because trans history is like the greatest love of my life. So my flatmates are laughing at me. trans history is so often dismissed and invisible, and the fact that it is made invisible is weaponized by turfs and other trans phobes. Um, more generally to invalidate us, to suggest that we are some new perverted sin, a sick fad, blah, blah, blah, destroying the traditional pillars of the community. All of that stuff, [00:04:30] same arguments that were trotted out against gay people are still trotted out against gay people. Um, but Trans people have always been here. We are so lucky to have the trans history that we have in this country. Um, the from wonderful like and Chris who have led the way, um, to our less well known transistors who have been fighting for our liberation since colonisers brought transphobia to this land. We stand on their shoulders and kind of the whole reason I wanna do the history [00:05:00] stuff that I wanna do is because I wanna help trans people to see this history for themselves. And I feel so lucky that I had this opportunity through this, um project to do that. So a few weeks ago, we put out a call for a small group of trans participants to engage in an intensive two day workshop, uh, which we put on during the first weekend of pride. We spent day one right here in the national Library, uh, treated to a talk by Roger Swanson, and I gave a couple of talks as well about our transistor and stuff. And then, finally, participants were able to have [00:05:30] the opportunity to sit down and explore the archives themselves. We had lots of discussions about how to approach history critically balancing between the pains and the joys of our past between critical reflection recognition that our transistors aren't perfect and also holding a lot of compassion for our transistors, who most of the time were just doing their best with what they had. Day two saw us head over to the new town community and cultural centre to get creative and start making our zine together. We love Volume one so much, um, the pages. But the [00:06:00] pages of the zine were pretty abstract for the first volume, with little writing explaining, um, participants thoughts about the zine page or, more generally, about the workshop. And then, during the last launch that we had so many of the participants got up and they spoke so beautifully about their zine pages and about history and archiving and the workshops. Um, and I was pretty overwhelmed by by how well they spoke about everything. And I was like, Oh, no, why didn't we get them to write that down? So it's actually in the zine for everyone to see. So, um, for Volume two, we encourage participants to take some time [00:06:30] to write down, uh, their thoughts. And again, I'm gonna sound cheesy. But I honestly felt in their tears, uh, reading some of these pages, it really pulled at my heart strings. And it just made me feel so glad that we did this workshop because I think that everyone really felt a lot of things, Uh, when they were in the archives, which is pretty beautiful and I think pretty important. So we call this scene series. The archive is alive because history is speaking to us all of the time. And it's so important that we listen to the people of the past and that we learn to listen well. And that's something that I'm [00:07:00] so proud to say all of our participants did. The ability to listen and learn from history is a lifelong skill that we're all engaged in. And for queer people, it can be a life saving one, learning the legacies of queer struggle and queer joy and everything that we are born into our histories that have so long been silenced and yanked away from us gives us a sense of power, gives us a sense of pride and gives us a sense of belonging. For me personally, history is absolutely vital as a reminder that just as my ancestors have fought for change in the past, I will continue [00:07:30] to fight for change today and know that just as things have already changed so much, they will continue to change again. The archive is alive is also a reflection of the fact that despite attempts to erase both queer history in general and Lagan specifically including a very literal attempt to erase Lagan in 1986 when the archive was attacked by arsonists, this archive has continued to thrive. And now the subtitle, The Gender Woo Woo, basically one of the other events [00:08:00] that I was involved in, was called Exploring Queer Archives and the Facebook event, for it received a handful of hateful comments from people who weren't so happy about our use of the word queer. And while I'm definitely sympathetic to those for whom that word is still a hard word, queer is also generally accepted as a reclaimed word. And it is so useful because it helps us to name our various communities of diverse genders, sexualities and sex characteristics without getting into limiting and westernised acronyms. And to be honest, I also really like it because queer [00:08:30] has teeth. It resists our movement being neutered and reminds us of our political imperatives. But the Facebook commenters didn't see things this way, and they were particularly upset that we were not focused exclusively on cisgender gays and hated that we were including the gender Woo woo alphabet soup crowd in the archives. One really angry guy commented that he was ready to prosecute us with the Human Rights Commission for using queer instead of gay. So naturally I was shaking in my boots and [00:09:00] and and this will happen during the workshop weekend. So I had to rely on everyone else for support, and when I told all the other workshop participants about it, Caitlin made a really funny comment that that should be the title of the scene, and everyone kind of joked about it, but it just stuck. I found out afterwards that actually, gender Woo woo is, uh, something that is, is a term that's used by a lot of trans votes online. Somehow I missed that even though I'm online a lot, but, um, to me, it just sounds really funny. It kind of sounds like the sex noise and the Sims. It feels [00:09:30] it feels like a party, and it's the name I think I'd have if I were a DJ. So I I really, really love it. And in all seriousness, I think it's pretty perfect because it captures the strategy that Trans people have used throughout our history of taking something that's meant to harm us and twisting it around with humour to instead bring us joy and bring us power. And these strategies of resistance are so important in our fight for trans liberation. And I love that we can use just a small example in our Zen [00:10:00] this scene wouldn't have been possible without the efforts of so many people. Um, thank you. Firstly, to Caitlin and Liam from Wellington Zine fest. Um there's none of this would have happened without them. I love them both very much, and I'm always in awe of both of them and the way that they are so passionate about supporting local creatives and activists and communities on all volunteer time. And I just think that Wellington is so lucky to have them both. And you make me feel so loved and supported. And I'm so lucky to be friends with both of you a massive thank you. Also [00:10:30] to Roger, my awesome mentor and Gans hero, Um, I've talked about you a million zillion times over the past weeks and you've been at, like, every talk I've done, So you're probably getting sick of it. But you deserve all of this recognition and way more for the huge amount of again volunteer hours that Roger does for the archive in general. But also for this project also a big thank you to Zoe Williams and Zoe Rowland from public programmes at the National Library. Um, thank you for putting up with my atrocious emailing skills, Um, and for all your generous [00:11:00] and awesome support on this project, but most of all, the biggest thank you to Volume two The Gender Woo Woo contributors AA I, Elliott, Jack Jazz, Jessie, June Kiri, Kofi, Louie, Ray, V and Y. You were such a truly wonderful group, and I feel really lucky to have had the chance to create with you. It was a really enjoyable couple of days. And I hope that you're all really proud of the final product cos I'm so proud of it myself. Um, and lastly, just thank you to everyone here who's come to our launch party. [00:11:30] I hope you all have a woo woo of a trans sexually gendered evening. And now I'd like to bring up Roger Swanson from the lesbian and Gay Archives to our official handover. Oh, my God. I don't have a Zen. I did this last time. Roger. Would you like to come up a round of applause for Roger? [00:12:00] Here you go. You Well, thank you, will. That's fabulous. And I and I love your constant reference to me as your mentor, and you know, it does. My ego wonders. Um, So So So it's lovely to see you all here at the National Library. And, uh, for this launch, it's fabulous. And I'm really you know, I. I thought we got volume one. Done. Wow, that's great. You know? And we now have two. You [00:12:30] know, sometimes you think these things don't actually continue on, but the energy and the the work that's gone into this is fabulous. And one of the things I really have been impressed with with the those who have come along to make this, um um, they have been really a fabulous crowd. Um wonderful. Um, energy, sincerity, um, determination to, um, look at the archives and reflect on what's there and what affects them and how it speaks to them. And the archive is alive. It really is a rather [00:13:00] than a collection of old, dusty shelves or things on shelves that nobody looks at, that they are bringing them to alive and creating new stuff, which is what the archive is all about. Um, we're about looking back at our history, finding things that resonate, telling those stories to future generations to people today. And it's just great that young people today are producing fabulous things like this. And it's just wonderful. So thank you very much. Thank you, Ma. [00:13:30] Thank you. Roger. Um so yeah, if any of the participants would like to get off and talk about their pages. No, appreciate, but be lovely. Does anyone can raise King round of A for OK, um, I'm gonna try to talk briefly. I won't, but I'm gonna try to [00:14:00] um Yeah, uh, I found exploring the archives to be a super special experience. Um, I ended up a lot of the time. I would, like, read something. It made me feel really special. And I would go super loudly and then just go over to whoever looked up at the noise and read it out loud to them. I'm sure I annoyed everyone around me, and it was real fun. Um, yeah, it felt like there was just so much material in this tiny fraction of the archives that was brought out for us, which is itself such a tiny [00:14:30] fraction of New Zealand's trans history. And it was kind of dizzying the amount of it all. It was a really, really exciting feeling. Um, yeah. I ended up choosing a page from a magazine called Transcribe, which, uh was kind of like a guide on how to lower your voice by sitting down with a tape recorder and recording yourself over and over and over against the floor. And [00:15:00] it really connected to me because I see that a lot in what I do with, um, like me and my phone and my little pitch analyzer app that genders your voice. Um, and I just felt this, like, hit of connection to this person who I'd never met before and never will. Um, I found that the image of someone kind of sitting on their floor in a really well loved chair recording themselves over and over and listening back to it looking for these tiny, imperceptible changes in voice [00:15:30] and getting so excited when you hear them is one that is so euphoric and joyful and also kind of desperate and tragic. And I found that duality between trans shame and trans pride to be really interesting. Um, so I wanted to make some art around that and that feeling, and I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to feel about that, but I know that it makes me feel loved. And I know that it makes me feel less alone. And I think that that's worth creating about, [00:16:00] Um oh, I've got all my notes on my arm. So if I'm, like, staring at that, that's why it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just I'm just really grateful for the opportunity to connect to our trans history in a super unique way and for the opportunity to then share that with others now and in the future. I think that's really cool. Yeah. [00:16:30] Is any Is anyone else keen to come up? That was beautiful. Thank you, Ray. I'll see you, June. Yeah, And big. Of course, to come up and stay. Thank you. So thank you. Um, I'm gonna apologise. I don't have quite as well prepared for a little speech. I don't have any writing on my own, which I kind of wish I did, because it was a really beautiful, beautiful, thoughtful reflection. Um, but [00:17:00] I just want to say a little bit about, um, my page, which is, I think, the one Yes, the page right before the last one. Um, so when we were looking through the material, um, I think everyone had somewhat similar sort of experiences of feeling like some things hadn't changed all that much since maybe the eighties or the nineties. And it's just kind of like, Oh, OK, we're still going through the [00:17:30] same stuff that these people did back then. Um, and for me, I have had a lot of sort of changing and how I my gender identity and my gender identity and my sexuality and how I expressed that and seeing an article, um, that was talking about how to tell differences between if someone is like, a really book lesbian or if they're a Trans Masque person. [00:18:00] Um, and that really resonated with me. Um, I think probably everyone being in public knows how it sometimes feels like people are trying to analyse you and break down exactly what you are. And I don't know. It's like these small, unspoken cues that they're like, OK, well, that means you're in this box. You must be just a lesbian. And so I'm going to call you this. And like, I think, um, yeah, sort of like putting that on the main stage and having these [00:18:30] three sort of transmiss individuals that were not 100% sure you know exactly where they identified, but, um, yeah, sort of being in the eye of the eye of the public and how just like people are perceiving trans people, and yeah, sort of reflecting on that, but yeah, that's my page. Thank you. [00:19:00] Is anyone else keen? Oh, come on, Jack. Go on, Jack. Round of app. That's the question. Um, hi. My name's Jack. Um, I was Oh, well, look what he's done covering up my beautiful page. Um, I wasn't gonna talk because it's scary, but will's speech inspired me. Um, so this is my page. Um I was a classic and [00:19:30] history student once upon a time, and I did my, uh, honours thesis on and, well, I did my honours in the classical studies, and I did my honours thesis on her Feist, who was very much implied to be the lover of Alexander the Great, And he and Alexander used to compare themselves to Achilles and Patroclus. Uh, and to the love that the love between a Alexander and her Feist and they would compare to the love between Achilles and Petri that they saw from Homer Elliot. Um, and I have always looked to Achilles [00:20:00] and Patri. They're two of my favourite characters from his, uh, from legend from books. Um, and when I saw this, I was like, Oh, I absolutely must write about them. Um, I can't just not do that. Um, so this is a little excerpt from, um, uh I think it was a paper of some kind of magazine called hero. Um, and this particular section was just as it says, Uh, the A to Z. It was, um, just a list of people that are considered gay heroes for one reason or another, either because they themselves are gay or [00:20:30] queer in some way. Or just because the queer community has claimed them in some way as, like somebody to to look up to, um, Achilles and petroglyphs. Their love is never made explicit, Like the nature of their love is never made explicit in Homo, which is the very first, Uh, well, the the first existing, um, source we have on Achilles and Petro. Um, but I on my next page, I've I've put quite a few quotes from Homo. Uh, that shows that their love was very intense and almost [00:21:00] undeniably romantic. Um, the reason I chose to write about them in a in a trans, um, context is because, uh, for myself, um, realising I was Trans was a lot to do with seeing couples couples like Achilles and Patrick Alexander and Feist, um, and these other specifically male male couples from history and stuff, Um, and thinking that that should be me and [00:21:30] that I should be part of that, and and I should be relating to that more. Um, so I want to write about them for my page, because that was such a big part of me coming to the realisation that I was trans, Um, and because Achilles and petroglyphs have formed such a large part in particular in my own study and life in general, like I I've spent a lot of time, uh, doing classical studies, and I've moved away from that now, but, um, I work in healthcare now, but after doing the stuff and the, um, after looking through [00:22:00] the archives and everything, I was kind of like, Oh, maybe I'll do a master's someday. I, um it reignited my love for history and classics and whatnot. Um, but it was just an amazing day. Getting to spend that much time around other trans people. Um, and getting to look through the archives was really incredible. Not just because I am also a history classics nerd. But just because it was incredible to see so much, uh, trans history in the archives that we that I wouldn't know it had existed otherwise. Um, [00:22:30] but yeah, that's I think what I have to say. Thank you, Jack. Um, does anyone else feel like I'll go to you? All right, maybe V first. You you put your hand up first round of for V. Um, well, the weekend was very emotionally [00:23:00] draining for me. Um, it was wonderful. Like reflecting on it. But initially, um, so many emotions. So many things happening. So many realisations. So many. Like gender. Who? Um and this there was an article in devotion in 1996. I think it was, um and it was it's this big, like, three size magazine. It was huge. Um, and there was this, um, part [00:23:30] in it that had this, um, like, article about this person named John. Or we suppose that he was named John. Um, and it's John's journey. Um, and that's a picture of John. Um, and I was kind of reading through it. Um, and there were lots of it's kind of to me. I read like a poem. And it was kind of, um I guess his experiences realising his, um his gender identity and who he was. Um and I was quite spooky because I was like, Oh, [00:24:00] hello. Um, I also did these weird things as, like, a young person. And now I'm realising that maybe that was tied to, like, who? I who I am, And I knew that back then. Whereas I kind of had this, like, trans imposter syndrome in a way of, like, I'm not trans enough TM which is not a thing. But, you know, um, yeah, and so I wrote kind of like my response to different parts of it. This isn't the entire, [00:24:30] um, article. I just cut out bits that were kind of I felt like parallels to my life, I guess. Um, and the part that I love the most is the quote about, um when John says I finally decide that I'm ready to begin the physical transition, I am going through the bureaucratic process to get myself on hormone treatments. It's a lot of waiting for referrals and appointments. Although I've been waiting for 30 years, it's even harder now. [00:25:00] It's a bit like Christmas. The closer it is, the harder it is to be patient. And for me, that was like because, um I as it I guess it says in there I, like, have started that kind of process, and I'm realising just how bureaucratic it is. And it's like, Oh, I guess nothing's changed since the nineties. And probably nothing's changed, you know, since whenever And, um, yeah, it was like a big a big emotional thing for me, But, like, I love [00:25:30] it. And I feel really happy and proud that I got to read that. And yeah, thank you. Should I say this was also vi and the worm fem and the tomb? Because I think that's really cool. Alright, Um, I would say it. You can round of applause for our Hi. Oh, [00:26:00] So, um, unlike some other people, I did for two very different things. Um, because I have trouble with making up my mind about stuff, and it sort of just happened on the day. Um, so the first one, I took a lot of inspiration from some No, that I already had, but then finding some key photos in the archives. Um and one of them was about Billy Tipton. Who? Some of you who might know and some of you might not know. Um, but, well, he was a famous musician. Um, and after he passed away, um, he was outed [00:26:30] as Trans. Um, and it was a This photo is from a news article about him. Um, and then I'd drawn over the top is, um, doctor James Barry, who was a physician who, um, did a lot of great work in South Africa. Um, around, I don't know, but just like I won't go into that. But he was a really amazing doctor. Um, and there is not a lot known about whether he was, like, actually Trans or just trying to, like, make his way as a doctor in [00:27:00] sort of the patriarchy. But I've always sort of self ID with James Berry. Um, he was not the nicest person, but I sort of the story of him. I'm quite fascinated by, um and I've just sort of included some quotes and stuff about how these two are from our history. Um, and their stories are quite paralleled, and I just sort of, I don't know, felt sort of connected to them in that way. Um, and they were sort of lived a life. And that's sort of what I'm here for. And [00:27:30] then the next one, next one sort of is a bit about my life. Um, so the other two photos are from the archives, and they've just sort of drawn a lot. Um, so the first one, I unfortunately, cannot remember his name, but it was from a news article, um, talking about sort of some trans experiences. Um, and I just sort of was struck by how much it looked like My dad, um Who his here. So embarrassing. But, um uh, I've just sort of written little notes of it. Looks like my dad connected [00:28:00] to him and then my son. So I'm gonna cry. No, um, and then this other guy who sort of have an in joke with my family, which was, um, you blank like a man from the war, which was mostly was eat like a man from the war. Um, but I just sort of was like, this guy smiling in a sort of look like sort of army uniform or whatever. Um, and it just sort of really connected, Um, the the joy that I see with them and the smile of your trans, which is really awesome. Um oops. And then just some things, [00:28:30] um, which is sort of form who I am, and stuff that is like gender envy, which is sort of like a joke. But, um, things that I don't know sort of connects to me as a trans person and just like who I am. Um, yeah. I don't really know what else to say, but that's it. Thank you. Because I've seen maybe Louis [00:29:00] was keen clap for you. Oh, it go with your laptop. Um, should we look at your one? Oh, yeah. I can enjoy my my wife first. So, um, and study fashion in Messi? Um, I don't know. It is, um I've been learning a lot of things and having amazing fat to, like, guide me to [00:29:30] being, um and and because I was just, like, studying realise myself. I'm more trans feminine than just a nobody. And I just I see just that long process developing myself as a person. So I be adult and just I feel like become adult, just like every change though you just like, put yourself to like the [00:30:00] to be a the person we want. And I had all my friends around me just like keep telling me all the ghost and all the thing happening. And I was like, Oh, like that's cute and and I was like, Oh, I can be that as well So I just feel like that's why thinking about, uh, the events [00:30:30] I've been going to it's just like passing the knowledge from the other people. And I share the experience. And when I look at the oh magazine was so amazing, like all the graphic and the fashion and stuff, I was like, Oh, my God, like, how do you know this magazine? And everybody was like asking me on the instagram saying, What's this magazine for? I was like, As for the, um um, [00:31:00] the bit So you can outside, So you have to, like, go to events to so this thing. But that's really outside. I feel special and feeling welcome to this family thing. I just pass into the, um So, um, I was interested in Mika, who was a performer in the From [00:31:30] Like the eighties and into the two thousands. And and actually, um, Mika has been in the news like from today, because they've been involved in some, like, bribery thing with some assault victim and, like, I don't know, it's kind of dodgy, but that just shows how complicated history is. That's what That's what will told me. Um and yeah, but it was It was just really cool to see the, um, to see all of me. Um, like [00:32:00] lots of pamphlets of performances that they did and different, um, posters and and, um, yeah, it was it was because I'm also a performer. And so, like, being able to see someone who's queer and Maori and like, puts that at the front of the of what they do is really inspiring. And yeah, um yeah, and this this picture here it was like a it was, like from some promo thing. But it was just [00:32:30] like in the like me was, like in a river, and like, washing their hair and it was just really beautiful. So, um yeah, I don't think I have much more to say. No. Is there anyone else who'd like to speak jazz? Yeah. Come on. OK, This was a very split second decision. So [00:33:00] don't judge, um yeah, I I came to the archives and to this awesome workshop, and I was kind of looking through looking for non-binary people. I was really interested in the, like, earliest uses of the word queer. And then I stumbled across this article, and it was about intersex people. And I kind of fixated on it because it was written in the nineties, and I [00:33:30] was like, This is when I was in the womb, and this is when I was born, and this is when, like, my intersex body was developing. So despite, um, this issue being about trans people, I kind of wanted to write about this because I felt like I couldn't write about anything else. And I don't have much to say about my page because I wrote my thoughts down quite literally about it. Um, yeah, I just kind of wanted to bring in the inclusion of intersex [00:34:00] people into, um, the conversation about gender diversity, even though not all intersex people identify with being, um, gender diverse. Um, yeah. I don't know why that's that's about it. Oh, and I did the insect pri flag colours. So yeah. Thank you. Is there anyone else that we've missed? I feel like everyone's [00:34:30] who's talked has talked. Yeah, Last call. Alright, with that, I guess we'll wrap it up there, so thank you all so much for going. Thank you so much. All the participants for speaking, Um it's really lovely to be able to hear your thoughts even more in depth on. Um yeah. Thank you so much. Enjoy another drink, some food. And if you're Trans, there's free zines. If your sis you got to pay [00:35:00] with the answer.
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