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How would you describe your identity? Really, it's It's kind of complicated, but not I. I would say I'm stereotypical like lesbian in terms that I'm attracted to, mainly women. But I would also date trans people or gender queer people. But I also feel like I do not fit in the gender binary myself, which is why I go by Zach. It was kind of a name I chose so that I could identify with myself. Cool. Um, [00:00:30] what does it mean to you not to fit into the gender binary? I think I just don't fit the stereotype of being male or female. And I also don't really agree with labels like, I think you should be yourself and not label yourself as anything at all, really, It It's just an idea that labels kind of put you into a little group, and I don't really want to do that. Do you think the labels and the [00:01:00] language that we used to describe myself has changed a lot over time? Definitely. Definitely. Um, when I was even in primary school, people never referred to like lesbianism as lesbianism. We referred to it as just gay in general, but then if you go back a few years back, Gay meant happy, so it's changed a lot. And so when did you first become aware that you were attracted to women? I. I remember having a crush on someone [00:01:30] when I was five. Um, she was she was at my school and she was really super cute and she had a little curls and I kind of thought she was like, really awesome. And I wanted to be her best friend. And then I came out when I was 11. So wow, how did that happen? I just kind of assumed that everyone just liked like, whoever they liked. Like, to me, it wasn't even a thing about, like, labels or identity or anything. It was more just like, Hey, you know, I like [00:02:00] girls. I don't care if I say it to people. So I just say to my friends, like when they were starting to get like boyfriends and girlfriends at that age, like, I kind of just assumed that it was OK and normal, and it wasn't. But, you know, it just kind of told people, and then if they didn't like it, I wasn't too bothered What kind of reactions did you get from people from the boys between, like 11 and [00:02:30] 13 of age? Uh, they would always ask, How do you know which was the main reaction? But if they knew they liked girls, they'd naturally like, they didn't have to prove it or anything. And then the girls thought it was disgusting. But I didn't have a lot of friends that were girls. When I was younger, I kind of wasn't exactly a tomboy, but I just didn't care about, like, the cattiness and all of that. So I had, like, maybe three friends that were girls when I was in primary school, But they [00:03:00] were just like, you know, tomboys as well. It wasn't a big deal for them, but the girly girls that were all about flirting with boys and getting attention from boys, they didn't like it at all. And they often would say that I liked them, which was a no, but yeah. Um, did you tell your family? Yeah. Yeah, um, I kind of just assume that they would know as well, Uh, even when I first had, like, little girlfriends, not proper, proper [00:03:30] relationships, but, like kind of the relationships you have when you're like, in primary school or like just getting high school. And I just bring people home and be like, Hey, this is my girlfriend. And they didn't exactly I like it to begin with, but they're totally cool with it now. They they're really open parents. And they didn't really try to change that, Which is good. What was it like when you started high school? Like, did you experience much homophobia? Oh, yeah. I. I went to an all girls school for year nine, [00:04:00] and that was horrible. I was I was sent death threats nearly every day for a year. Um, yeah, it wasn't a very good time at all. And that was because they they kind of started a rumour. A big group of girls that I liked another girl and she didn't like that. And blah and it all just completely blew out of proportion. And I didn't actually have any interest in anyone to begin with, But it was just how it was for Unite Girls. And then I moved to another skull in year 10, and that was super [00:04:30] Christian and I got more death threats there But around that point, I was in, like, my first proper, proper relationship. So I didn't really care the same like as I would have in your name, because, you know, you already had someone that was also going through the same thing and at the same age, so it was a bit better, but, um, it wasn't until I went to a school called Hagley in Christchurch, and it was it was very open. There were drag queens. There were there were men walking around in heels at school. [00:05:00] Everyone was just kind of free to be yourself. And when I went in there on my first day, people kind of were like, You're really shy, but we like you, so they kind of accepted everyone there. So that was kind of a, um So where did you grow up? I grew up at away, which is, like, near the country, kind of for most of my school years. And then when we had the earthquake, our house was destroyed. Uh, so we had to come [00:05:30] into Christchurch, and then I moved schools around then and everything just kind of got better because you weren't in the middle of nowhere. Um, So when you were back at your old schools and kind of experiencing all that bullying, did the schools, like, do anything they support? No, Uh, no support whatsoever. I was I was taken to counsellors nearly every day for year nine because I was trying to convert people, and they saw that this was a problem over any form of, [00:06:00] like, depression or bullying. They saw that that was a problem, as opposed to what was actually mentally affecting me. When when you were young and I had teachers trying to change me and teachers that wouldn't let me sit with certain girls because they thought I was, you know, hitting on them when I wasn't at all just no support at all. And I I really wouldn't send my child if I knew they were gay or anything like that to a a single sex school. [00:06:30] Because of that, like, it's kind of like in high schools that are mixed genders where boys and girls can be separated like right from the get go. It's kind of like that if you come out in a school like that and somebody doesn't like it and you try to speak up. There's nobody that will really listen because they're scared that you're, you know, hitting on other people and making other people feel uncomfortable when it really shouldn't be a problem to begin with. Yeah. [00:07:00] Oh, God. Um, so was there much support and stuff? Um, for people who definitely definitely. There was so much support. I had friends that were younger than me when I started and they were coming out and everyone was just completely open about gender and sexuality and everything there. So it was kind of like a school for people that were gay. I found [00:07:30] that the majority of people that I actually met there were in some way inclined like that. And I think it's just because the environment said that it was OK. So if you went to a different school and and, you know, you were kind of taught that you have to marry a guy, if you're a girl and stuff like that, you don't really stretch out of that. But when you're in a school where it says you know, you can be what you want, you find more people will will go for that. I think it's It's not just really because that's their sexuality. [00:08:00] I think it's because they know they're safe to do it there. What do you think it is about that school that makes it people feel safe? Or how do they put? You know? I know it's OK. It's in a safe environment where the the teachers and the staff, they kind of treat you like you're already an adult and you can make adult decisions for yourself, which is really good because it teaches you from, you know, Year nine, you should grow up a little bit and take responsibility for yourself. So So people kind of have more acceptance [00:08:30] as well for others because, you know, it's all kind of on them what they do and their actions. And I think it's also because Hagley doesn't have uniforms, so you don't get judged on what you wear, and everyone just kind of gets on as a big group, as opposed to se separating off into little groups. It's kind of just more a really open environment than than a school that would be just normal, even the fact that at Hagley you could [00:09:00] choose your classes and you could specialise in things like music or dance. It's just kind of artsy as well in some ways. But yeah, I think it's just that it's open. And there's not many schools that are really like that. I would say they kind of want you to fit into the stereotype of the school as well. Um, and so you've left heavily now What are you doing? I'm at CPIT for my second year of photography, [00:09:30] which is cool. What's that environment like after being in a really homophobic one? Then he really accepting What was it like at CPI? I find it CPI. I think it's because everyone there is mainly, like an adult or at least like of age. So they all kind of just have their own lives. And they they're at the stage where especially like because it's the art scene. You just kind of don't judge people for what you do because you're doing your own like crazy things at the same time. And it's also an environment where, like I have people [00:10:00] in my class that are a lot older than me, and then I've had people that were younger than me. So it's like mixed ages as well. So everyone's at different points in their life, so they kind of all just get on cool. Um, So how did you figure out that you were non binary? I actually used to turn to online videos. There were There were a set of things on on YouTube, which is like a video site. Um, where girls from across like the USA [00:10:30] would talk about like their sexuality. And they'd have, like, weekly videos that they'd upload. And I love those girls like I. I still wish like I travelled overseas and met them. They were so cool, like girls that were, like, 16 17. So I was a little younger than them. And there are a lot of them that would talk about gender identity. And there is one that I know now is actually transgender and has transitioned from female to male. So it was kind of cool to watch that progress. And I kind of realised that [00:11:00] I didn't fit what I was expected to be like from watching these girls in their lives. And, um, do you think sites like Facebook and YouTube and social media play a big part in how young people kind of get information and build community and connect at the moment. Definitely, we're We're in a world where it's entirely made of technology, and these young young Children, like some of my cousins, are 567. And they own ipads like [00:11:30] we're so surrounded by technology. It's kind of like for our generation. We're like the pioneers, like we've never had that before and the people that are older than us haven't had that before. So it's like us experimenting with, like, a new way of living and and social media plays such a big part in, you know, teenagers lives. You kind of spend 90% of your life on Facebook, and you don't know why is having, like, a sense of community and belonging [00:12:00] something that's important to you? Definitely it. It's good to know that you've got people out there that are going through the same thing and have got through it as well, which is something like if I had that sort of support system when I was younger, I think it would have been a lot easier, and I know like for a lot of my friends who are also gay or you know gender identity disorder. They would have had an easier time if they had people that were older than them to, like, guide them and help them. [00:12:30] Have you been involved in any of the groups here in Christchurch? I. I did go to Utopia. I think it is for a while, Uh, which is a a youth group? Um, because I was taking my best friend there. He came out last year at nearly 18, and he had no experience with, like, the gay world or anything. I was the only one that he knew. So I used to take him every week so that he could, like, sit in the corner and watch people. [00:13:00] Yeah, it was kind of like his sort of coming out thing that I had, like, years and years ago. But for him, it was brand new, and he still gets really excited about, like going to LGBT Q events and stuff like that. Like, I'll take him along to things like there's also like after drinks after utopia that the older people go to and I used to take him to that and he would just get so excited to be like in that group. Um, what do you think about the way and people [00:13:30] are represented in the media? Well, for New Zealand's media, I think we're a lot luckier, like, especially with, like the gay marriage bill being passed. We We're a lot luckier in this country because even the fact that that was enhanced on the news means we're a lot like better off than other places. It's kind of more accepted. But then, in terms of even TV and movies and such, like the way [00:14:00] we're portrayed is still very stereotypical. It's not seen as us being human beings. It's more like this is the stereotype. If we're gonna have a gay character in this TV show, they've got to be extremely flamboyant. Um, I think it's just that we have to show that we can break out of that stereotype and especially with, like the media and the news, we have to show that it's not even the fact that we're gay. It's the fact that we are human beings over that, [00:14:30] and we're equal to like every single other person on this planet. Really. Have you seen any characters or storylines like in movies or activity that you can relate to or books. OK, I've been having lesbian movie night like actual movies for the last few weeks because I've been on holiday because I've been watching like cute lesbian movies with, like, couples. The main stereotype I've seen like in these movies, is either they're like school girls and then they fall in love. But they can't [00:15:00] be together, kind of like Romeo and Juliet style, or it's a relationship that's like a marriage. And then that girl meets another girl and then cheats on her husband for that girl. And it happens in every movie. It's like That's not right. Sometimes people just meet each other like, but it's kind of the same storylines. And then there's even on TV. There's a show that's come out on MTV called Faking It, and the girls are faking being lesbians to get attention in high [00:15:30] school, which I don't know about you that that probably doesn't happen in real life either. But one of the girls is actually gay and the other one's not, and it's all just very drama fueled, and it's like that doesn't happen in real life either. So a lot of it's made up. Really? Like it's not based on actual real people in gay relationships or anything. What are some of the movies? Oh, gosh. I I wouldn't even remember. There was There was Imagine me and you. [00:16:00] I know that was one that I watch. And then there was a one about two schoolgirls. But one of them like dies. Yeah, but like, yeah, just looking them up and looking up like top 50 lesbian movies and going through them. What would you like to see? More of actual relationships and relationships Where say, the couple has a child together, which I know is kind of seen as like, a taboo thing in a lot of places [00:16:30] as well. For like, a lesbian or gay couple to have kids or adopt kids, Um, and just sort of showing a family environment kind of as well as like, how it actually would be to be in a relationship like that and live with your partner and stuff like that. Because you see, like, you know, all over the media even like straight relationships where you know they'll move in together and everything, and you don't really see that the same. So you don't even know what you're in for. Really. [00:17:00] Have you had any, um, like, queer role models like Oh, gosh, Ellen DeGeneres is my favourite. I think she's like everyone's favourite. She's just quirky, but she's just got this love and like life in her, and it's like she's gone through so much in her life, and she still seems really, really young. It's just her energy, really. I think everyone loves her. And how [00:17:30] do you feel about the marriage equality bill that passed? I think it's great, I really do. I really do think it's great, like at the time I was actually in a relationship where I was planning to spend, like the rest of my life with this girl who I'm still really good friends with now. But it didn't work out, Um, mainly because also, we are still very young, But it was, I think, the day of that bill that I actually kind of said to her, You know, I, I really would like to spend my life with you and she was like, Hey, we could do that now [00:18:00] So it's kind of like a really good thing because, like people my age have that to look forward to in the future, like and then I know there are people that are like even in their fifties and so that are getting married now because of it. And it's so exciting. Um, so we've got marriage equality. What do you think are some of the other issues that face screen terms, especially young people in New Zealand? Who? I don't know if I really took with us. [00:18:30] Um, I had a friend who is transgender and he always has problems with bathrooms, and that's that's a big thing. I noticed we went out on the weekend and he got in trouble at several places that we went to for going into the woman's bathroom, which he felt that he still needs to use. But if he goes into the men's bathroom, he gets in trouble as well because you can't do that. And I just felt really sorry for him, because that, to me, [00:19:00] is a a big issue as well. Like the whole unisex thing should be a thing. I think that happens like, you know, overseas. They have unisex bathrooms for everything. The thing for a trans person that's particularly hard because you're stuck like in the middle, and no matter what option you choose, you can still end up in a lot of trouble just for wanting to go to the bathroom. So I think that's a big thing, really. Um, what [00:19:30] are your hopes for the future, for your own future and for for my future? Oh God, I really, really do wanna like, meet the love of my life and have Children That's always been a really, really big thing for me to have a family and, like travel the world and everything, Um, but also in terms of everyone else. My dream is kind of to live in a world where everyone's like, [00:20:00] equal and everyone's the same. No matter what your religion or your identity or your gender, no matter your age or your disabilities like everyone is just seen as being a human being. And in some ways, labels are cut altogether because I know people use them sometimes to help identify themselves. And I think that's a really, really good thing. But it's when those labels are used against people. That's a negative part of society. So I really would love to live in a world [00:20:30] where, like, you could walk down the street and everyone would be so happy and so full of love. And just everyone would just get on and not judge other people for how they feel that they are. Really, Um if you could give a message to young people out there who are struggling with their sexuality or gender, what would you say? It's gonna be the the normal. It it does get better. When when you really think about it, it will get better. [00:21:00] You just have to try fighting every day. And don't be ashamed to be yourself. And don't apologise for who you feel you are. Yes, there are like nearly 8 billion people in this world, and I guarantee there's somebody out there that's gonna want to spend the rest of their life with you. So don't give up that person's out there and just be yourself. Really, because that's the best thing you can be in this world is just completely yourself. You'll be alright. Um, and what's your favourite [00:21:30] thing about being a young person in New Zealand? I think it is the freedom. I think it's the fact that when I've been in relationships. I can kiss that person in public, can walk down the streets and hold their hand and that's OK. Whereas if you were in other countries, you can still be sentenced to death for doing that, which is a really big shame that our world is still like that, really. But I think it's beautiful that in New Zealand, like [00:22:00] it's a bit of hope for people, really and young people.
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