This page features computer generated text of the source audio. It may contain errors or omissions, so always listen back to the original media to confirm content. You can search the text using Ctrl-F, and you can also play the audio by clicking on a desired timestamp.
How would you describe your identity? Lesbian. Would you, um, say that you fit into any kind of, like, sub, um categories or like, cultures or that, or do many people that you know, Um, do you mean like, fear? But, um, I don't know. I don't really agree with those categories. I think it's you don't really judge straight people like that. Do you think the way that we've looked at our sexual orientation [00:00:30] and gender, especially in terms of language, has changed much? Um, I think that labels have definitely they starting to be less important. Like a lot of people I know are just happier saying queer than, like gay by whatever. Why do you say, say this? Um, I don't know. I think it's more like people are more free to have whatever experiences they want. Like more gay people feel safe, like having straight experiences and, [00:01:00] you know, vice versa. Like straight people expe well, not experimenting, but having experiences and then I don't know. I don't know. People are just more open to accepting that it's fluid, I think, Um, when did you first become aware that you your sexual orientation was lesbian? Um I grew up in Invercargill, which is very rural, very conservative as a whole. So it took quite [00:01:30] a while. I denied it for quite some time. It was more when I was about, like, 15 or 16, kind of like hormonal that it became incredibly obvious. But even then, um, I guess I was confused because everything around me was so heteronormative that I was convinced that I was still into guys. So that took a while to, like, work through it, just convince us. Definitely anti guys. For the longest time. [00:02:00] Do you remember seeing any kind of like messages from society or people around you about, um, queer identities? Um, at my first high school? A lot of people used to be really anti gay, like, say, the usual things. Like it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Um, I don't know, just lots of really cringeworthy things like that. And I went to an all girls school in in so I don't know, there [00:02:30] was a lot of, like, gay jokes and stuff like, uh, she's a lesbian and like the like, a little area of seats that they call like the lesbian pit. Because no one wanted to sit there. Um, yeah. So that was pretty much all I heard about queer people for a while. What happened when you figured out that you were into girls? Um, it was a little problematic. Like, I kind of tried to fight it a little bit. And then when I was sixth form, [00:03:00] I changed high schools, and I kind of went to a more liberal high school, I guess. I don't know. I just had, like, a lot of different people, so I don't know. Um, not everyone there was really negative. Most people were just really chill, like, didn't have a problem with most things so And it gave me more room to kind of work out my identity, I guess. Do you have, like, a coming out narrative? Um, [00:03:30] I don't know. I was pretty sneaky about it. I just came out so gradually because I just didn't want it to be a big deal. Um, but I definitely because of where I was living because I lived way out in the country about like, 45 minutes out from Inca. I knew that I couldn't come out to my parents because I didn't really have anywhere else to go. I don't have any relatives in the area. Um, I don't know. It seems a bit much to put that on my friends to, like, have to stay with them. [00:04:00] So I came out to my friends really gradually and then waited until I was at university to tell my parents. How did that go? Really, Really, really badly? Um, yeah. Like kind of the classic story of telling, like conservative, homophobic parents that you're gay, like, had all the classic reactions. Like, my mom cried quite a bit. Um, my dad [00:04:30] didn't look at me for three months, Didn't talk to me. Um, they threatened to cut me off. Um, so that would be really hard for me to manage staying at uni because I didn't have a job or anything. At the time, I was kind of like supplementing what I was getting from the government and, like, study link, um, with money from them. So it was kind of tricky, and then they calmed down, but I don't know. I used to get, like, homophobic texts [00:05:00] from them all the time. Um, they told me that I was mentally ill. and I need to get checked out. Um, my mom cried because she thought I was going to hell because they're like Catholic. I don't know. They seemed pretty chill about their religion until it came out to them. Um, I don't know. It's I guess it was really hard for them because they're from a very conservative, Catholic farming bloke background. [00:05:30] So everything they'd ever known was like, shaped towards This is bad. Mhm. How did that those kind of reactions feel? Um I was under a lot of pressure because I was doing, um, my hardest year of my law degree at the time, and I actually ended up suffering from anxiety, having panic attacks. Um, that were pretty bad. So I ended up going to counselling for a bit. But I don't know, the more [00:06:00] it kind of died down, And the more I kind of dealt with it in counselling, the better it was. And are they a bit more supportive now or is it still pretty hard? We just don't talk about it. Yeah. I mean, I get a few homophobic jabs from them sometimes, so it kind of makes it tricky to go home for more than two weeks at a time. Do you think it's harder to be, um, grew in the South Island? Definitely. Um, I guess because there's not any real queer [00:06:30] role models like growing up. I think I heard of, like maybe one gay couple in the community that owned, like a cafe or something. Um, but that was it. There was no one openly gay around, even like the really obviously gay people at high school didn't come out because they were too afraid. And like there's always stories that here, like I heard a story about a lesbian couple that got married and then their house got burnt down and, like, ridiculous things like that. [00:07:00] So, I, I think it's better now because I've heard that there's like openly gay couples at the girls only high school. I went to now so obviously getting better. But I don't know. They say that the South Island is like 30 years behind the North Island. So there's that, um, what's it like being kind of transitioning from rural Invercargill to Dunedin and going to university and being out so good, so, so good? [00:07:30] Um, I guess because is such a concentration of like students. You don't really have as many like old mentalities around the place. Um, but that being said, there's still a lot of homophobia, kind of like in the shadows, I guess. Like this guy that I know got beaten up by 10 guys and put in hospital. Two of my straight male friends were walking home one night and got beaten up because people thought that they were a gay couple. [00:08:00] Um, I've been, like, verbally assaulted on my way home from town, like this guy just screaming, ridiculous abuse. But apart from those small, isolated incidents, incidences, um, it's a lot better, I think. Like I had a girlfriend earlier in the year and I didn't feel that scared, like holding hands with her or anything, but obviously a few looks Dunedin. Are you involved? Um, much with the [00:08:30] queer community here. Or, um, I'm pretty heavily involved. I'm on the committee for uniq, the queer group on campus that's run through like one of the university clubs and societies things. Um, so that's cool. We just organise like weekly queer hangouts and, like monthly or every two months, like have parties and stuff It's cool. [00:09:00] Is it important to you to kind of have a sense of, like, community and belonging? Definitely. Um, because I think a especially if you come from like a kind of conservative, not very queer, friendly community. You're automatically kind of reluctant. When you go to a new place like you, you're not sure who's safe to talk to, who's going to be cool with it. Who's going to be a bit of a dick. Um, so it's nice, like having a weekly thing where I don't have [00:09:30] to explain myself. I don't have to, like, worry about someone saying something really annoying. Um, I don't know. I think it keeps me sane. Um, have you seen like Facebook and social media playing a part in how we youth in New Zealand are like connecting or finding information building communities? Yeah, definitely. Like, there seems to be a lot of, um, Facebook groups cropping up like even from inver cargo. There's a few. I mean, they're really small. But, um, obviously [00:10:00] it's important to the people there because they feel so isolated. And I know um, on like the Dunedin Queer pages that I'm a member of you see, like all these silent little editions that don't go to anything, and, you know, don't say anything on any posts. But it obviously means a lot to them, like being a part of it in somewhere. Um, how do you feel about the way that queer and trans people are represented in the media? Kind of frustrating. It's not really enough [00:10:30] representation, I think, like when you do see where characters it's always like middle class, white, gay male, Um, never that many queer female characters, unless it's like a rating stunt or like a big scandal. Or, you know, And then, um, if it's like a queer female who's interested in guys as well, they often say, like, Oh, she's straight again Now it's like, Well, you're kind of erasing her whole past. [00:11:00] Have you seen any characters or storylines that you can relate to? Um, I like orange is the new black Um, that was refreshing because they don't really sensationalise the queer characters, but I don't know they still deal with it at the same time. If that makes sense, do you see lots of, um, stereotyping of quick characters in the media? Yes. Oh, my God. Yes, everyone is just a caricature through [00:11:30] the media drives me insane. Um, like, especially talking to some of my straight friends who haven't had much to do with queer people when they tell me what they think gay people are like, it's always just like a stereotype. Like, how many times have I heard someone say that all gay guys are fabulous and, like, effeminate and super fashionable, and it's not the case at all? And then they think that all, like [00:12:00] lesbians are really frumpy and masculine and tough. Um, have you been involved much or followed kind of any of the like politics around any query, train and stuff in New Zealand? Or if you've been involved in any activism, um, not like active at all, I'd say, But I don't know. We definitely had, like, a celebration for the marriage equality thing here, [00:12:30] Um, through like the queer groups here, we all kind of banded together and had a big drunk celebration. How did you feel about the bill passing? Um, pretty good, actually came at a really good time for me because it was like when my parents were at a really crucial time with dealing with it. Um, And when I visited home, I'd see them like secretly watching it on the news. And I think that was really good for, like, a government to take a stand and say that, you know, [00:13:00] it's not wrong. People deserve basic rights. Everything is equal. I don't know. It was good. What do you think are some of the issues that, um we're still a community still facing here? Um, I don't think that there's enough role models for queer people. I mean, in my hometown, like the queer people I did hear about we usually like I don't I don't wanna [00:13:30] being mean, But they were usually, like, kind of losers that, like, their life, was a mess. They were just messing things up, left and right, and they weren't going to, like, be very happy. And you just saw them like this horrible little spiral. Um, yeah, I think definitely more role models like, I don't know if you asked like any queer person. If they could even list, like, 10 strong role [00:14:00] models at a queer, you'd be struggling. Where do you hope that we might be in, like, 10 years time? um, in 10 years time. I hope that it's not like a huge deal to be queer. Um, like, I would hope that it would be chill enough that people don't even feel the need to comment on it. Um, like I'm just sick of being introduced to people like, Oh, she's gay. You definitely don't [00:14:30] go like, Oh, this is my friend. She's black. It's just I don't know. It's frustrating. Um, and yeah, I hope that there would be more accurate portrayals of queer people in the media and more queer characters on TV and in movies and more role models. Have there been any role models for you? Um, last year the law department at Otago brought a gay judge to visit, which [00:15:00] is pretty cool because I don't know especially like going into a professional area. You don't hear of many queer people. I mean, obviously there's probably, like, billions of queer lawyers, but and I just didn't really think about it. Like when I went to a CV workshop. They told me to keep my CV very conservative and aim for, like, a conservative audience. So it was nice to, um, meet like a queer judge who talked about his experience like because he's pretty old. Obviously, [00:15:30] judges are old. Um, but he said how he had to keep closeted, um, for a long time. Um, but now that he's out, he I don't know. It was just nice hearing about queer people in the profession I'm going into. What are your hopes for your future? Um, get an awesome life, get an awesome job. Have kids. Have you thought much about how you would, like, go about having kids? Um, [00:16:00] um, yeah, I'm just like we face. Uh, I don't know. I guess I'm only like, 22. I haven't really sussed out the details in my mind. Um, if you could give a message to, like, young people struggling with their sexuality and kind of rural New Zealand, what would it be? Um, that there's probably a heap of other queer people around you, but they are not open about [00:16:30] it either. Um, I know that for me, I felt like I was the only one. But now that I don't know, a lot of time has passed. I can see that I was actually surrounded by a lot of other queer people and a lot of people that I thought wouldn't be so supportive turned out to be like the most supportive friends that I've had about it. And I don't know if it's like things are tough. You're always going to hear from, like, the queer community. It gets better, which is [00:17:00] the most frustrating thing to hear at the time, because it's such a cliche now. But it actually does. What do you think you would have? What might have helped you with that kind of that time and age, like living with your parents? And, um, it would have helped me if I'd felt safer to branch out to people around me because I was so afraid of like talking to people. I didn't know who would be OK with it, who wouldn't, um, enter for the shelf? What's your favourite [00:17:30] thing about being a person in New Zealand? Um, I don't know. I just love like all of the queer people that I've met, like through the community. It's a lot of fun, and it's nice just being able to talk to people around me who share the same experiences. It's kind of nice being like unique in some way.
This page features computer generated text of the source audio. It may contain errors or omissions, so always listen back to the original media to confirm content.
Tags