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Hi identifiers as Jenna Floyd at the moment, um, in the past, I he used to identify as as a gay man. Um, pats. I find that Gina fluid disguises me better at this time in my life. Um, kind of doesn't tie me down to one one label. [00:00:30] Um, at first when I first heard about gender fluid, uh, from that it it it was just kind of like a, like, a good idea, you know, something like that that I thought it made sense that someone, someone's life can change. And that's kind of there's no way to describe [00:01:00] the in between time. Wow, that's even possible for someone's sexual identity to to change. And, yeah, I, I think Jana food describes describes it. Well, how would you describe it to someone who doesn't understand? I would say that, um, someone, uh, that describes [00:01:30] a person that it is, uh, either gay or straight. And they were something else. Um, I think that it means that sexuality and gender identity is is a fluid and and changing thing. Um, [00:02:00] that someone doesn't necessarily, uh, a straight man for their entire life that they can change and and two do you, Um, Do you see that identity Much kind of in life? Like, Do you know many people who identify as gender fluid or like, do you have any role models or anything like that? Or is it something that is really [00:02:30] out there? I've I've never met anyone that's identified as gender fluid or not that I know of. Um, I've I've I've seen people change their sexual identity from a lesbian to a straight woman. Uh, and, uh, the the same for men from from straight to gay. Um, [00:03:00] but no II. I haven't seen it. Seen it and anyone else? Yeah. And do you see that that sexuality change from, say, straight to gay? Is that quite different to gender being gender fluid or or are they kind of wrapped up in each other? I think that I think that they, um I think that they're very similar. Um [00:03:30] um, that it's the transition. That's the the hardest, all most confusing part about, um, and I. I think it's can be quite difficult to come to terms with that, um and and that your your life from once you accept that about yourself, it's it's gonna change. I think that's a difficult [00:04:00] thing to come to terms with, Um, but I I think the challenges that face them are can be quite different. Um, I think that, uh, the transition from straight to gay um, it's kind of Oh, it's It's really quite quite common almost to compared to [00:04:30] and, um, people that identify as a male and and and then as a as a female. That transition is, um, his. I know it's it's not as widely documented. Um, [00:05:00] but I think and and for that reason that there's still a lot of, um, confusion around it, Um and, um uh, A lot of fear, I think as as a society to to accept that, uh, for a lot of people, when did you first become aware of your, um, sexuality when [00:05:30] you were identifying as gay? I think it was, Has has always been sort of, uh, a growing thought in the in the back of my mind. Um, and I think that coming out as gay had a big part to play in. And my, uh, [00:06:00] and my identifying I did find myself Really, Um, but I found that once I accepted that I was interested in men that, um once I stepped it down and myself, uh, it sort of, um [00:06:30] and have me to think about other questions and other questions that I have about myself. How old were you when that started to happen? I was. It's almost difficult to say since it is kind of a, uh, a a gradual Think, Um, maybe a year ago [00:07:00] or or even sooner, But I didn't wake up and feel like this. Yeah, sure. Have you been very open about it? Like, what kind of reactions have you got from people? I haven't really been terribly open about it. It's a topic that I often try to avoid in conversations. [00:07:30] Um, but I find that people don't often raise it. Um, but I think a lot of people sort of guess about me just by taking one. Look, um, I look quite androgynous. Um, yeah. So, II, I don't think I really [00:08:00] need to bring it up much and that people generally just take it at face value for whatever it is. And when did you, um, come out as as a gay male like, um, what was that like when you were a bit younger. That was, um, quite a liberating experience. Um, [00:08:30] I found that a lot of the bullying that I had I had received before I came out. I just just stopped once it happened. Uh, and I became a lot more confident in myself. Um, and I and I just didn't have, like, this burden on my shoulders anymore, like that. And that kind [00:09:00] of constant nagging thought that you you have when you're when you're still in the closet, but but want to come out? It's almost all you can think about. What was school like for you being Thank you. Um, before I came out around, uh, I came out when I was about 16. Um, it was pretty difficult, because [00:09:30] I, um I suppose I've always been quite camp in my mannerisms. And, um, right from a young age, I think, and, uh, people, people saw that and saw it. Something different from the Norman er and just picked on me because of that. Um and [00:10:00] yeah, just quite, um, quite quickly came to the conclusion that I was gay. Yeah, Even before I really identified as that myself and yeah, it was pretty tormented, I think. At school. Yeah, it wasn't was a lot of fun. Did you find the staff and staff, [00:10:30] um, supportive to They can intervene with anything. No, no, I didn't, Uh, and kind of the bullying I I Well, yeah, no, it did happen during class, times and things, but I found that a lot of teachers and adults just ignored it. Um, no I. I don't remember getting any intervention from [00:11:00] from a teacher or Yeah, any support from him? Yeah, it was kind of sad. How did you cope with that bullying and kind of move past things. I really just came out, I think was the solution to everything turned out in the end. Um, yeah, Once I came out, I I couldn't [00:11:30] really, you know, And people couldn't really yell faet at me from the from the hallway because, I mean, I was so yeah, after that, and I just kind of owned it. And, um, the bullying just stopped and yeah, I just continued living as a gay man. Have you had any, um, [00:12:00] other challenges that you face because of your kind of queer identity? Maybe just probably just kind of social challenges. Um, anxiety around social situations is, um, a pretty constant thing. Um, yeah, just [00:12:30] kind of walking into a room and not not knowing if the people in the room will accept me for for who I am or be angry because of it. Or, you know, III I don't really have much proof to for for this anxiety, I'm not often approached and, uh, and abused [00:13:00] or anything. Um, but the the fair is is still there. Um, and I think that's something that I'm working through now. Have you found, um, any spaces that have? Um yeah, but you haven't had to feel that anxious, and you have been able to just kind of be who you are. Um, [00:13:30] yeah, when I around the around the time I came out, um, I was had a lot of support from Kiev, and, um, I I went to their meetings every week, and and I was Yeah, I felt completely safe and and comfortable to just be myself and and [00:14:00] enjoy that. Yeah, and the as well, that, um, that you had And, um, once I I attended and other places, um, with the same where I could just be myself. Um, and yeah, not not. Have to worry or about, [00:14:30] you know, the the about others accepting me because I just knew that they were dead. Yeah. Can you tell me a bit more about, um what the that you went to were like, um, they were usually over a weekend. Um, and [00:15:00] during the, um, they were often, uh, different workshops about all all different kinds of stuff about coming out. Um, and being gay and, uh, spirituality And, um, everything in between where [00:15:30] people could just talk about their experience and, um, in a safe place. And I think it, uh, I think it made the whole experience, uh, quite moving. And, um, yeah, quite a personal experience for everyone. Yeah, they were the the highlights. I think [00:16:00] there's my involvement in Q A What do you think those spaces gives to people? Why is it so important that they I think it's I think it's important because I think it's just important to show people what it's like to to just be yourself and and [00:16:30] how much fun that life can be. And if the if the feelings and and like the general acceptance that that I always ate these Hoy was an everyday life. We it it would would make for such a beautiful world. [00:17:00] And II I think a lot of problems in in society in general would Would would stop. What is it like being a que young person living in Nelson? Um, do you think it's different here than it would be other parts of the country? Yeah. Um, since Nelson is quite small, um, [00:17:30] it's presents its own challenges, I guess. And since the there isn't a very big gay community in Nelson, I mean, yeah, it's just it's just difficult because, yeah, I mean, walking down the street, you can't see anyone. That's that's obviously different, you know? Um, [00:18:00] yeah, I know it can make it seem quite isolating. Do you get, um, reactions from people on the street or people you make because of being visibly quick? Yeah. Um I mean, I think a lot of other [00:18:30] people, um I mean, a lot of people would kind of overlook me sometimes. Maybe it's just being a woman. Um, but I find that when I had first met someone, um that during our, you know, conversation to get to know each other. Uh, [00:19:00] I, I just kind of see a question, You know, in their eyes that that they are, like, holding back, um, and and and it's it generally comes out when they're drunk. And when I when I meet drug people for the first time, they'll just come out and say, Are you a boy or a girl? And I I am always firstly amused at at the bluntness of it, but [00:19:30] I've always taking a second to reply. Often, I would just say that I'm a boy, but not because I look like one. Just because they have the genitals of fun [00:20:00] and then often, again, with drunk people, the next question would be Do I want to be a girl? But I don't know if if I do, I don't know if because they the first thing that comes to mind is having a sex change. And and I think at least not now in my life that I would be [00:20:30] strong enough to go through that, Um but I mean, do I wish that I was born a girl? Probably. Yeah, I would. But does that mean that I should go through the process of changing my body. Now that I'm that I wasn't [00:21:00] born a girl to to change and to one artificially, you know, Would it be the same? Or but I still think of myself. Yes, something different. Do you think, or kind of see around you that there are different, um, different ways? Because I guess, [00:21:30] like, um, in the in the past, we've been taught the only way to kind of change your gender is to, you know, it's like this really kind of black and white way where you change your sex. Um, change your body. Take hormones, et cetera. Do you see around you that there are different ways now to be, um, trends or what? Yeah. What do you know about that? Um no. II. I can't say that. I really have looked into [00:22:00] it a whole lot. Um, and I think a lot of that stuff surrounding that is is isn't widely known. You know something? You have to research and and find out. Um, but no. As far as my education on the subject goes, I I can't say I've had much Yeah, I think [00:22:30] at the moment I'm just coming to terms with what I am. No. Um, yeah, And who that is. Do you know where you did, Um, learn what you do know about being queer in terms, I suppose, Um well, I know I've just learned from [00:23:00] experience in a lot of ways. Um, yeah, I can't I can't say that There's much to know about being gay, and, you know, unless you just love it yourself, if that's your life. But I suppose the same can be said about being transgender. [00:23:30] Yeah. Do you think the media has had much influence on you at all? Well, I mean, like like everyone I I think it has. Um I can't say I identify you know, holy with any any [00:24:00] person I've seen in in the media. Um, but then again, I'm sure I did find and in some ways, with my son. Um, are there kind of certain characters or identities or like, stereotypes that you see a lot of of queer people in the middle? Um, of queer people? Probably the most common would be, [00:24:30] um, a promiscuous gay man has often the depiction of of gay men. Yeah, um, and the same actually about lesbians, is that Yeah, is someone. It's just interested in sex. But I suppose it's just gonna add to the plot [00:25:00] of any story. Really? Do you say, um, any identities lack in any kind of storylines? Um, I think, um, that transgender people are barely at all represented in the media and, you know, at least in anything I've seen. Yeah. So I think that's [00:25:30] that. Only kind of that only feeds the the confusion around that. Um, yeah, what do you think are some of the, um, main challenges facing young people in New Zealand at the moment? Um, I think just discrimination. That's the biggest challenge anyone [00:26:00] can face coming out. Um, and it's it's a big challenge. And, um, I can't say that I have the answer to it, you know, it's It's my challenge at the moment, and it's a challenge that I might have to live [00:26:30] with. How do you feel about that? Um, yeah, I. I suppose it's It's a bit of a morbid, I guess. It's pretty sad thought, but I, I think it makes makes for stronger people. You know, if there's more people out there questioning who you are, uh, that just means that You have to be more certain than yourself [00:27:00] about that about what kind of person you are. Um, but then I think a part of it just has, um that yes, it's important to know who you are, but then, um, you shouldn't let the discrimination in society define that [00:27:30] and have their questions, uh, become your own. In a way. Do you think things are changing? Where do you see, um, what do you see in New Zealand in, like, 10, 2050 years? Like, what do you think will be the issues, then? Yeah. Uh, yeah, it's definitely changing. Um, [00:28:00] there's OK, there's there's growing acceptance. Um, about, uh um, queer people in general. Um, we I. I see New Zealand. And in 50 years, um, I think it'll be something [00:28:30] completely different from from today. I think we would barely recognise ourselves. Um, yeah, and I think if we follow this path that we're on now that it'll be a lot less of a challenge for right, um, and for people to to come [00:29:00] out as as gay or lesbian and and for people to identify as a woman when they were born a man, I think I hope that there will be more acceptance. Maybe you just finish up. Um, what's your favourite thing about being a young person in New Zealand? [00:29:30] Um um, my favourite thing would be being an alternative young, queer person in New Zealand. Um, I enjoy being different, and I think that's what makes it special.
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