This page features computer generated text of the source audio. It may contain errors or omissions, so always listen back to the original media to confirm content. You can search the text using Ctrl-F, and you can also play the audio by clicking on a desired timestamp.
How would you describe your identity? Um, I identify as a lesbian. Yeah. Cool. Um, do you would you see yourself looking into any kind of like stereotypes or like, labels within the lesbian community? I suppose they have all sort of sub categories, or sort of so feminine. Probably a feminine lesbian. Yeah, but it's not really like anything. I particularly identify so strongly with that. I need to feel I need to stick with it. Anything. [00:00:30] Do you think the language that we used to talk about, um, orientation and gender has changed much over the time? Yeah, I think it has. I think I think it's and for me, for me when I first sort of sort of discovered stuff about the LGBT community and stuff instead of learning more and more about their diversity in it. Um, and people who have got more and more confident using different terms of like identifying themselves as something that they feel [00:01:00] comfortable with rather than trying to force themselves into a label that already existed. And I think hopefully that'll just keep continuing. So identify as a lesbian, which is kind of like a sort of older label, but um, I recognise that there are a lot of people who don't who wouldn't really fit that category, but they kind of would. And so, yeah, And when did you first become aware of your sexual orientation? Um, when I was 14, I was [00:01:30] at a dancing class, and I for some reason, that night I just kind of clicked and I was like, Oh, my God and I and I cried. I was really upset. Um, and my mom had no idea it was all wrong. And I said, Oh, I think I'm gay. And she was like, she was like, OK, so don't worry. And then the next day, I was absolutely horrified that I said anything to anyone because I texted my best friend as well and said, Don't talk to me about it and didn't really deal with it till I was, like, 16. 17 didn't start actually, actively being [00:02:00] like, Oh, this is something I can't actually ignore anymore. Yeah, What do you think happened that night when you first kind of I actually can't quite remember what it was that set me off. I suspect it was like, I don't know. No, I actually I can't quite remember what happened. That that made me, um that made me like I just remember I was like, 00, no. And it was really quick. And I was really scared, I think was the main thing, because before that, I had never identified with the LGBT [00:02:30] community. I knew of the LGBT community and stuff. I wasn't totally unaware. And I knew I knew some of the language and stuff like that. I think it would have been more confusing if I didn't know any of that. But I never done to with them. So I was like, Oh, no. Yeah. Um, had it been something you've been like thinking about at all previously that you been, like, questioning? No, no, no, no. I literally like at one go. And I was like, I just had it never occurred to me before. [00:03:00] Yeah, that that and then looking back further, I can see that it made sense. Like it if it was always, like, just everything was already there, but it just never clicked. What? Um, messages. Do you remember or like What did you know? I didn't know very much. I didn't know very much I remember I went to quite a liberal school, like so everyone was. It was a, like, pretty reasonably well off school and stuff. And everyone was Yeah. [00:03:30] So I didn't know a lot about the community, but I didn't like I had heard bad things about it. I just knew it was kind of different. And I think that was the main bit that scared me is I didn't really want to be different because, you know, you don't really want to be different at 14 at all, if you can avoid it. Yeah. Um, so after you told your mum and your friend, then you said you don't really kind of acknowledge it again for a few years. What happened? Kind of in that period. I just think I just try not to think about it too much. And I just didn't put much like time into it. I think [00:04:00] I, I just don't really remember thinking about it a lot through, like Year 11 and stuff, but But during that year, actually, though, I had a huge crush on a girl who was two years older than me. And I didn't even but I didn't recognise it. as a crush either. I just thought I just thought she was a really, really cool person and stuff. And then like when I started clicking the next year, I was like, Oh, that's what that was. And it made a lot more sense to me. Um, but no, I didn't really think about it for 11, and I managed to do quite successfully ignore it, and then I could. Then it got to year 12, and I was like, No, [00:04:30] it was I couldn't really anymore. What was happening there. Um, I went to a party with my friend and I realised I would rather her than any other, any other guys in the room. And I was like, then that that made me quite upset again. But then I was like, OK, I have to start to I don't know. I feel like I felt kind of alone. I think because I have to start trying to connect because it's really important to me is to not feel isolated. How have you connected? Um, the first [00:05:00] thing I did was I joined a website called, um queer attitude. Um, which is kind of I think I think it might be UK based, but it has a lot of American Americans on. It had some New Zealanders and Australians on it too, and it was just like a It's quite a youth based one. It had lots of talking about lots of different things I never thought about and coming out and all that sort of stuff. So that was quite nice to have and it's quite well moderated website. So it's quite a safe space. It still is quite a safe space because it's really well looked after [00:05:30] and you have to go to quite a lot of effort to be properly included into it. So people who like, want to troll or whatever just can't really um and so yeah, I I was on that website for probably a year and a bit, and that really helped me a lot, at least feel connected and stuff. So the Internet became really important to me because that was mainly how I connected for quite a long time. Um and I even later I when I started trying to, I went to a couple of the youth groups. There was a school, a group called Schools Out in Wellington [00:06:00] and I went to a couple of them. But it was quite hard for me to do, like time wise, because I was quite busy. Um, and also, I just still feel like I didn't really click with anyone. So I was, like, so sort of reliant on having that connection through the Internet and any media I could find And all that sort of stuff was probably what was the main bit through high school. Yeah. Yeah. Um, what was it like, kind of transitioning to university? Um, it was better. It was much better. Um, I [00:06:30] came out at the sort of I came out, started coming out as, like, bisexual at the beginning of year 12. Because that's kind of how I began to identify myself because I sort of think I was comfortable with the like with thinking about anything more beyond that. That is a concept. Um, but I sort of started and I started identifying as a lesbian by the end of that year, and I came out as a lesbian at the beginning of year 13 and which was pretty good, like, really, really, really terrifying for me. I remember being absolutely, [00:07:00] absolutely really terrifying. Um, but people were really great Generally, um and so, um and so that was fine. So when I came to university, I made sure within about two or three weeks of meeting everybody, I'd come out. I came out to sort of the friends I'd made, and that was so it was all it was just always there. So it didn't become a thing. I was keeping a secret because secrets aren't very fun to keep. And I made sure I connected with uni really, really early on. Um, so that was really cool for me [00:07:30] to meet some people and to like, I don't know you. So you have to actively try and be a member of the community. Um, it it always require effort. I think I don't know if that will ever quite go away. It's You always have to kind of actively be part of the community and actively make an effort to go to things and to try and meet people and to talk to them and stuff, which is yeah, which is hard, totally worth it. But but hard and stuff. I found that especially hard. First year last year. I got last year. It got a lot easier because I made some friends and stuff and and I had more people to go to things [00:08:00] with. First year, I didn't really have to go to any of the events with which was so sometimes I go by myself, which was a bit hard. Yeah. Um, why is it so important to you to connect and be part of that community? Um, I don't I don't really like feeling isolated. I think Start feeling like your worldview is weird or that you I know that something's wrong. I think that's where some feeling like something's wrong, can come from is when you're surrounded by people who don't think at all like you do or don't understand the sort of community and culture you [00:08:30] really ident identify with because you identify with, like your, because there's all like racial culture and all that sort of stuff and, you know, being part of being a student and all that sort of stuff, and you can fit with those. But, you know, with people dating and people liking this person, this person, if you're not, if you don't get to connect with anyone, it can feel really lonely, and and that can be, really that's really hard. So it's really important to me to make my to make sure I feel like I'm normal, because I am. So, um, have you experienced [00:09:00] any, like, homophobia at, um, school or university? Um, there, um, there wasn't too much at my high school, actually, um, people are generally pretty, pretty amazing, which is pretty good, because it still quite a big problem in New Zealand high schools generally, and depending on where you are, it gets progressively worse. Um, so my friends were all really great. Um, and I felt really [00:09:30] they made me feel quite safe, actually, because I knew if anyone had said anything to me that they would have, they would have a go at them. And in my high school, it was quite, um, the people who are homophobic were the ones who got teased. It wasn't It wasn't the people who are gay. Um, because I remember by the time you were 13, I remember there was a guy and he was a bit I think, I don't know. He must have said something to someone and stuff. And they were just teasing him for for, you know, being of gay people. What's wrong with you sort of thing, which, which is quite funny. Um, and I do [00:10:00] remember there was a, um there's a guy at my school who came out to one of his best friends towards the end of year 13 or something like that. And she basically she came from a really religious background. I don't think I realised how religious she was religious, of a background she was from. And she ended up inviting him over to her house. And her parents, like, spent, like, two hours like leur in him on how it was sin and all this crap and stuff, which was probably quite traumatising [00:10:30] for him. Um, but but people stopped talking to her after that because it was in the church. I think their church members actually kicked them after that. And they moved to Australia. But But it didn't. It didn't go down well after all, but there were people around. I did manage to avoid them quite quite well. Um and I had at first year uni there was a guy who hung out with my friend group who was he would sometimes say stuff that was in appropriate, but But by that time I was kind of confident enough to be like, [00:11:00] No, I don't like I don't want to hear that And it's that's quite offensive thing to say to me. And he did Eventually. He did actually end up apologising to me for for that. But in a way, I think it's maybe he came from, um up in Auckland and from like, sort of one of the more posh schools in Auckland. And I think he maybe thought it was his right to sort of say some of the inappropriate stuff. He said to me, um, and realised that sometimes people aren't quite as receptive as he thought that they might be. Um, yeah, mainly [00:11:30] It's mainly it's pretty good. I think it's just sort of the underlying not direct homophobia, but like people but feeling sort of quite out of place or feeling that you can't be affectionate with, um, like someone you're with in public because you still get staring in the stuff. And I had, um quite a bad incident a few weeks ago, and, um, timber and doctor, um, where I started kissing them while I was, um, the girl I was with. And, um, I just we just got, like, the worst [00:12:00] reaction from everyone around us. It was awful. And people, the guy came up to us, said some really inappropriate things and stuff. And I told him to go away and people started taking photos and video, which which was really, really awful when we had to leave. Um, and it was just so incredibly uncomfortable. Um, that's probably the worst thing that's happened, because usually it's usually I go to a queer event, and that would be where I was with someone. And it's a safe. It's such a safe space. The only people who are going to interrupt you are going to be gay. Guys swing. You look adorable, which is hilarious [00:12:30] rather than awful. So, yeah, have you noticed a change like moving from Wellington to Dunedin? Do you think it's like, harder in the South Island for people to be kind of out as clear? Or I think it is. I think I think it is overall, Um, not so bad in Dunedin. I don't think it's terrible. I mean, it's such a huge student population. Younger people generally are a lot better, like they don't really. Most younger people don't really have a big problem with [00:13:00] it, or if they do, they know it's not appropriate for them to say It's just when people get drunk like guys get drunk and they don't think they don't think about what they're doing. Um, I don't think, um and yeah, but there's definitely people who come from sort of more of the Deep South or um, yeah, more rural areas find it a lot harder. I think it's definitely more isolating being there. And, um, there's a lot more of the whole stereotypes and all that sort of stuff, and, um, just a lot more homophobia [00:13:30] around like and it can be quite dangerous. I think in some places it would be quite dangerous. I've heard quite bad things about Invercargill and how unsafe people feel there. Um, which is really sad, Um, so it's definitely better here, like in Dunedin than it is there, Um, and it's in Wellington. It's pretty. It's pretty good, too good, so I don't know if you have a there's less places to go in Dunedin. I think there's less less spaces that just, like exist all the time. Um, whereas in Wellington, because there's, um, more people [00:14:00] they have, like gay bars like Gay Bar that's open every night and stuff so you can always have somewhere to go. They had one really briefly in Dunedin, but it didn't last long. And what do you think about the way Chinese people are represented in the media? Um, and media meaning like news books, movies, television shows, all sorts? Um, I think it's got a lot better, but there's a long way to go. I think queer and Trans people are like seriously underrepresented [00:14:30] for the amount of people that are queer and trans. And there's a There's a serious, like difference in in the number of people that you actually see in the media. So, like I watch a lot of queer media and I cause I hunt it out because it's really important to me to see that and stuff. And I really enjoy seeing shows that, especially ones that do it really well, um, but you have to find it. You have to go find it, and it should just be there a lot of the time and people always make arguments about their. You know, you can't have this many gay people on a TV show, and you're like, Well, this many gay people around us like [00:15:00] who's to say what's right and wrong? Um and yeah, so I think there's underrepresentation. There's also some of that stereotyping that that needs to be broken down more and more, Um, like TV shows like The Fosters, um, which have, um, the two lesbian mothers and stuff. But it's it's not a show about them being two lesbian. That's not the show. And they're both fantastic characters and themselves, and it's about their family. It's not about they're not stereotyped [00:15:30] people at all. Um, not on that show, stereotyped. So it's It's quite a refreshing to watch something, and it's just part of living. Rather than being like this focus about all the like, defining feature of someone's character, like that's where it gets really like you get really over it like the one thing that's about them. They're like that lesbian character or that that gay guy like and that's you know, that's not how people feel. Um, they don't feel like that's the defining aspect. I mean it is. It is partially [00:16:00] it can be partially what defines people, and it can be an important part of their identity. But it's not the one thing. And so media is terrible at doing that at the moment. There's very little little media that does a really good job of it. So I think, yeah, and also, um, and Trans people are just terribly like uselessly represented in the media and some really, really negative stereotypes and stuff. So they're they're doing even worse than everyone else. Which is such a shame because there's so so many misunderstandings about trans people and [00:16:30] and stuff. And like I make an effort, I'm a medical student. So I make an effort to educate myself on on sort of health issues as well as is just just LGBT community as a whole. Um, interests me a lot, Um, and so I spent time educating myself on trans issues, but people just like, But I don't know everything there is to know. I only know what I've taught myself and stuff, and I don't have that experience as well. So yeah, it's really hard, and it's also really hard when you don't get to see yourself [00:17:00] in the media because again, the isolation thing. Have there been any, um, characters or storylines that you have been, have reflected your identity or that can relate to? I really, like on Grey's Anatomy I really like, because it's because it's sort of just the medical side of things. And it is, um, like Car Kelly in Arizona, Um, on on that show have been really good because it's such a consistent relationship and it is a proper thing. And they the storylines are advanced beyond the fact that there are two women. [00:17:30] Um, and they, you know, they're having. They have the ups and downs, and they have their own storylines and their own lives and their different, very different characters. But I really like, like seeing that in the context of the fact that I'm going to be a doctor and, um yeah, but that's I probably probably the most identify with them. Yeah, cool. Um, what do you think about the marriage equality bill that passed last year? I think it was cool. I went to the march in Wellington, which was really fun, um, with a couple of friends [00:18:00] and I listen to listen to everyone speak and stuff, and it was really cool. And, um, it was quite nice with, like, the people signing the petition. And, um, I helped it out on the square, which is the event in, um, Civic Square in Wellington. Like a fair. Um, and that was they had the petition there and stuff. So Well, that was just before it was, like, some just before it started getting going through and getting signed and that sort of stuff. Um, so that was really that was really cool. To be like, [00:18:30] Yeah, quite active and, um, sort of being part of stuff then, um, and the people who did the work to get the petition going, all that sort of stuff are amazing. Um, and it was quite cool because my parents that year, my parents came to see my parents, brought my brother and came to see me at the fair and stuff, and it's really important to me that my parents sort of understand who I am, and it's not going away. And that sort of stuff, I think that was one of the things they might have thought when I first came out to them. Um, because it was uncomfortable. And it was also totally unexpected, which [00:19:00] I recognised that they weren't going to be like, OK, all of a sudden. But they came and they both signed the petition and stuff. And that made me feel really happy because, you see, they were really supporting me, and they were, Yeah, so that was really cool. I think I think it was I think it was amazing and all the speeches and stuff were great. And it was really cool to see to to have conversations with people being being like, Why is this only happening now? What's you know what's wrong? It's, You know, this just happened days ago. I don't see why people are arguing against this. It's so stupid. So all the support was quite cool, Just especially [00:19:30] when, like my friends and sort of people out age is really good. Yeah. Did you celebrate when it passed I? I kind of did. I was at an audition for a like, um for something, so I didn't really get to do it properly. But I did jump up and down a few times. That was that was my mum texted me when it passed because she was watching. Yeah. Um, is it something that you like? Think you might want to do one day? Yeah. Yeah, it was always something I think I wanted to do. Um, [00:20:00] it's a school that Yeah, it always made me a bit sad. It wasn't It wasn't actually legal depressing, but, um, it's nice. It's nice. It does. I think it is really important for whether people think marriage is something that they want to do or not is to make sure that everyone has the opportunity to make the decision for themselves rather than have it made for them just because it's because some people decided it wasn't OK, so we've got marriage equality. But what do you think are some of the other issues that are facing people in New Zealand at the moment? [00:20:30] Um well, I as someone who's working in the health profession, um, I just started a, um, initiative to try and get some proper LGBT specific education to me into medical school because actually, I during the summer, I was kind of wondering what we get taught because I'm only in third year this year and I Um, and I saw an email and found out that we really I think we only get, like, an hour long thing just kind of like [00:21:00] into where we panel I don't know. It's not a very comprehensive hour. Um, it's I think it's inducing people to the idea of coming out. I think that's all. But I think that's all that's all we get. And as health professionals, I mean, we interact with the LGBT community all the time through all the different disciplines. And there's some definitely some at least some etiquette things that if people that if, um health professionals learn, then they can build better doctor patient relationships with, um, with Korean Trans people. Um, when [00:21:30] they're off, they are incredibly vulnerable. The health is the health problems, Um, in the community are pretty shocking, like smoking rates and all this stuff. There's a lot of really specific things, and we just don't get taught it. And it makes. And so just last night I put up a Facebook page. Um, so we've already got more than 70 members. Um, so there's a lot of support among the medical students and stuff, so people have been talking to me about it. Um, so I just I think it's gonna be my That's my project for the next couple of years is changing that. [00:22:00] That's one of the most important things for me. I think is, if people are treated well in the health system and supported and especially with, um, a lot of like mental health issues and that sort of stuff, they're supportive of that, then they do better overall, Um, because, yeah, doctors, often people who end up people end up having the interaction with Yeah, cool. That's such an awesome project. Where do you think we'll be in, like, say, 10 years time? In terms of that and other [00:22:30] other issues? Um, I hope things just kind of keep going the way they are now in terms of, um, becoming more normalised as such. I don't know, um, where people just understand it is another just another sort of a kind of identity here. So, um and that people are the way that they are and sort of in learning to accept people how they for for how they are. And hopefully that change that's happened sort of in the more sort of central and, [00:23:00] um, more populated areas can move out to to the more rural areas. And I think it will, um, as younger people start growing up, um, that's just it's gonna be a time thing. So in 10 years, I'm hoping people will be even more accepting than they are now and that, um there will be more, like continue to be more resources and more support and stuff. Um, for for people who are going through all the different aspects of, um that people can struggle with without being, um, queer. [00:23:30] Trans. I hope that, um, uh, health system for especially that Trans people have to go through will get a lot better. And I'm hoping that part of what I'm doing is hope, hopefully can help. At least start to see some of that off is getting a general understanding because the cool thing about doing it in medical school, this means that every doctor who comes through will get the education. That and then if everyone gets a sort of standard of education, then the overall standard in the medical [00:24:00] community will will go up. Um, yeah. And there's a similar um group at Auckland who just said the same idea pretty much at the same time as me, um, who are doing doing that as well and which is really exciting because it's the two medical schools. So that's all. That's all the New Zealand doctors, Um, so that that's really exciting. Yeah. Um, if you could give a message to, um, a young person struggling with their identity at the moment and like, [00:24:30] coming out Or maybe even like someone, um, trying to like a young trans person trying to get the health care they need but not getting much help, what would What would you say? Um, in terms of people, just trying to figure themselves out is to Is it that time? Time is OK and it's not OK, it's OK. It's totally cool to feel out of place and to feel like that's That's fine. It's totally normal and that there's nothing wrong with you. Um, and there's nothing wrong with not knowing exactly where you fit as well. [00:25:00] Um, because figuring out where you fit takes time and, um, and there's no need to put a label or anything or do anything before you're ready. Um, and you know, just slowly find out. Find out those people who can support you, whether it is online or it's a friend or a family member. Um, and and but just wait, you know, don't need to rush anything. There's no there's no rush on figuring yourself out because a lot of people don't figure themselves out for a very long time. [00:25:30] And you're allowed to change your mind on how you feel and everything, because there's nothing wrong with that either, Um, and people who are looking for good health careers that you get to pick your doctor. Um, and if doctors are not treating you well, um, and or you don't feel like they're listening to you find another one because there are more doctors, um, and that you know, that is totally your right to be to be treated with respect, um, and to feel comfortable with your doctor, you know, And I know that's [00:26:00] a lot harder for people in more rural areas. Um, we are looking for So that might be quite good to look for support from some of the, um, the groups like Rainbow Youth and all that sort of stuff and talk to them about how you could find some better support. But yeah, that you that especially if you live in somewhere like Dunedin. There are a lot of doctors in Dunedin, and if one makes you feel uncomfortable or one's not doing what you what you need to be have. What you need is that there are there are more doctors out there and there are great doctors out there and that you you have the right to go and find them and to [00:26:30] to not go back to the doctor that you feel making you uncomfortable, Um, and to finish up what's your favourite thing about being a young person? Then sat up and talk to New Zealand? Um, I really like the the community and stuff. I think it's a really It's a really fun, diverse, vibrant community, and it's also made me a better person being part of it. It's opened my eyes to how different people can be and accepting other people. It's made me a more accepting [00:27:00] person, and I think that's really cool. Um, it's yeah, is that it's on the whole, it's made me a better person and being part of the community, which is great.
This page features computer generated text of the source audio. It may contain errors or omissions, so always listen back to the original media to confirm content.
Tags