This page features computer generated text of the source audio. It may contain errors or omissions, so always listen back to the original media to confirm content. You can search the text using Ctrl-F, and you can also play the audio by clicking on a desired timestamp.
How do you describe your identity? Gender Queer, Pansexual, poly. What do those words mean to you? Like, um, Pansexual is like means I'm really open to anyone of any gender that I don't really discriminate on base or gender. So I could be with a transsexual. I could be with a gender queer person. I could be with this person, whatever. [00:00:30] Um, gender queer. Oh, and to me, it means my gender fluctuates. It's not really the same each day. It changes from being either feeling a bit more boyish or a bit more girlish one day and or somewhere in between. And probably means that I and open [00:01:00] to have more than one relationship at a time, an intimate relationship. When did you first become aware of that very identities? Um, I became aware of my and my well, kind of my attraction to girls. Um, when I was about 18 and [00:01:30] my gender queer identity is a little bit more recent. It's probably 20 two. It's just a rough guess. Um, and probably probably 23. What was it like when you, um, first realised that you were attracted to other girls? 00, um, [00:02:00] and it. Yeah, it was awkward. It's just like, um, I was at the time I was in a, um, in a heterosexual relationship, and I was like, Oh, I'm attracted to girls, too. Oh, I can't I can't be with you. I want to be with a girl and I can't because I'm really in a relationship and it's just like, Oh, and so I had to pretend the guy was a girl. That's not good. Um, [00:02:30] what happened after that? Um, I'm still in the same relationship. So he's kind of accepting of that reality and that I do have the attraction to the opposite sex, and he's fine with it, so it's still good. Did you have, like, a coming out? Um, I'm I'm I'm I've got really nice friends who are really open and like [00:03:00] understanding, So I'm out to them. But I'm not really out to my family. I kind of I don't actively hide it like so my Facebook is filled with me. Same become putting flirt, flirt, flirt comments on girls, Facebook comments, pictures and stuff. And we like trying out drag queen kind of attire drag [00:03:30] king attire. So there's some clues for them. Did you grow up in Christchurch? Yes. What was it like at your high school? How were people treated for their sexual orientation or different? Well, the thing is, in high school, I was really just I really was not aware of my sexuality or my gender identity at the time, So [00:04:00] I don't really know what it was like to be Oh, well, oh, at our school, it was kind of right to be like for the girls to dress up in the boys uniform, so that was pretty good. And just so more practical. Who wants to bike around in a kilt? Um and so like. And it was all right for the girls to participate in sports [00:04:30] and stuff, but there was still some I think a lot of schools just set out, set out side port and sat on the benches and talked, which was boring. And so, um, but I don't think in sexuality education that I experienced that there really was much mention of other orientations other than heterosexual. Do you remember any kind of, um, [00:05:00] messages when you were younger? Um, about what it meant to be OK, Um what kind of ideas like when you were first realising, Did you have about it? It wasn't really talked, talked, talked about in my environment, either in a negative or positive way. So it was just something like I had no kind of pinpoint or information about. It was just like [00:05:30] I am this I kind of have to find out, though my own information and some of the stuff isn't pleasant, especially when you get into, like, Queer Discrimination and, um, transphobia and all that kind of stuff. It's a kind of sad reality for some. Have you experienced much discrimination personally because of your sexual orientation or gender? Um, I. I wouldn't say [00:06:00] discrimination, but I have to explain some things to people when they're very like gendered, and so they don't really understand what it is to not have your, um, your body in line to do in terms of gender. And so they're kind of like it's a foreign kind of concept for them, and they they find it really hard to relate to. So there's the difficulty to relate. I get a lot, but, um, that otherwise I don't really feel [00:06:30] discriminated against personally, but I know there's discrimination out there, so I'm a little bit closed off and who I'm out to, so I wouldn't be so I'm not as open about my sexuality or gender as I would like. When did you first realise that you were talking to or what kind of process thought process did you go through? How did you learn that? That was the thing you could be, Um, just like how I kind of [00:07:00] liked boyish things and I felt more identifiable with male things. And, I mean, I just kind of But I didn't want to reject my femininity, So I still wanted that to be there. So it wasn't, like, transgender where I was like, I just want to be the opposite gender, but I just There's a mixture of them in together. What? Um, apart from not understanding, what other kinds of reactions [00:07:30] do you get from people like, How's your partner? When you talked about it, he's pretty accepting. He tries to understand, and he lets me explain things and he listens, and he kind of respects me for who I am and doesn't want, doesn't try and change me and doesn't try and make make me fit into this prescribed mould of whatever I should be. So it's pretty good. [00:08:00] Um, And have you had relationships with women since you came? Um, not a lot said like, honestly, that makes me sad. Do you think it's hard to find other people who are interested in non monogamous relationships? Yeah, I think it is hard. It's like it's another thing you have to explain. And it's like you have to explain the rules and how it works and because people aren't really familiar [00:08:30] with it. And it's also it's kind of hard to get connected into the You get to mingle with gay people because you have to find it, and it can be kind of. I find it a little bit hard when I'm not very much of a social person in like bars and parties and stuff. I don't It's not my strong point. [00:09:00] Do you find that you, um if your primary relationship is um, with the assessment, do you often get Do people assume that you're heterosexual and suspended because of the relationship you're in? I probably don't come across of as CIS gender a lot of the time, but because the way I dress like I will normally dress kind of a little [00:09:30] bit masculine some days, and so they tomboyish. And so they they. But they would probably assume that I'm heterosexual best by looking at my partner and stuff. But I normally use gender like I. I heard him as my partner a lot of the time, So you can't really say go by that. Whether I'm in a hetero relationship [00:10:00] when people do assume that you're straight, how does that feel? Yes, it feels like a lie. It feels like a lie because I'm not. And I heard I want to be recognised as the orientation that I personally feel that I am even though that I'm not out. I just like it's a not oxymoron, isn't it? [00:10:30] Mhm. Do you see many kind of stereotypes about being sexual and kind of more like bisexual people? Um, or that people try and who do know that you're sexual? Do they ever challenge that or be like, you know or greedy any of those kind of stereotype? Yeah, like I get a lot of stereotypes about being polo like it's immoral. It's greedy. [00:11:00] Those are the two main ones I feel I get in terms of, say, um, pansexual, we'll probably get the greedy one again. And also undecided, I think. And I think there's not enough kind of gender queerness in the media or betraying the meaning for people to pick up and stereotype, so they just have no information [00:11:30] about it. So you just have to explain. And so you get your you get to explain it in a way that you like and free of those stereotypes. How do you respond to people who kind of stereotype you in that way? So far, it's just been my friends. So it's been pretty easy to create a dialogue and challenge their discourse. Um, so you can actually say to them, Oh, hang on, That's not how it really is. It's something [00:12:00] else, and you can actually sit there, and it's not too hard to explain to them. So what have you been doing since you left school getting over a mental illness that's never fun and time consuming? So that was kind of really hard, and then I then I went into into uni, so I've been doing uni for the last three years. What are you studying? [00:12:30] Um, psychology, sociology, health, science and human services. A mouthful. What kind of, um are you out at uni? Um, I go to, um, uni, which is universities from Canterbury Queer Group. But I haven't been much to their events. She'll probably check out that page. [00:13:00] Um, is it important to you to have, like, a sense of community and belonging? Yes, because it means, like, you can You know who you can date? Um, if you if there's no community, it's kind of like you're left out in this world, and you have to go. Hang on. Are you, um I like you. Are you and you have to go and ask people [00:13:30] whether they're gay, and then you have yourself You have to come out to them as being gay, and it's like, Oh, kind of a lot easier to have a space where you can know that everyone's not necessarily not there. There's a good chance that these people here are going to be non heterosexual. Um, have you experienced any kind of, um, discrimination at university was obviously No, I'm pretty supportive [00:14:00] effectively. Do you see? Um, things like Facebook and social media and YouTube and the Internet playing more of a part in the way that we, um, queer trans young people connect with others and find information. And, um, the thing like, I, um I love watching YouTube and the good thing about YouTube, it's anyone anyone can make content. So there are queer people making content, and I do like to follow some of these peer queer people [00:14:30] on, um, YouTube, like queer is a cat, which she's a gender queer, asexuals, um, girlfriend, boyfriend and everything in between, um which is a lesbian and talks about pansexual lesbian issues. And and then there is, [00:15:00] uh oh, there's a few other ones as well. I can't remember the names of those. Have you been involved in, um, making your own? Yeah, I do. And I like to focus on, like, I did a video on the two videos on the roast busters, one about the peer group that they were in. And then what was actually wrong with the bus and and And what was wrong with the behaviour of the road busters? [00:15:30] And then I wrote I probably talk a little about that. The, uh, the bus was a group of um, boys who slept with drunk and often underage girls and then posted the exploits on social media site called Facebook. So what was doing those videos about, um, [00:16:00] I was about putting, like putting New Zealand issues out there on the Internet and how, like sexuality has played her out out in New Zealand and also creating processing what I thought about the roast busters and critiquing them and having a look at. Maybe they like how the peer groups kind of kind of OK, [00:16:30] it and kind of said, Oh, we don't have. They're just being boys and they're not really just kind of made excuses for them, not really challenging with their behaviour and kind of reinforcing that behaviour and saying, Um, yeah, by not challenging it. What other kinds of videos at the minute? Um, another one. I just did a, um um called sexy milkshake, which is, um, a poem about, uh, [00:17:00] safe sex. But using, um, the milkshake is the metaphor. Six. That's cool. Um, and what do you What do you get out of? And what do you kind of hope to spread through? Making YouTube videos? Um, what do you get from watching other clubs. Um, um, what I get from watching other people's videos is that there are people are, like, out out there, like me making videos. [00:17:30] And so I feel like there's that that that content is kind of catered to me because these are the people who have experienced some of the things to me and I understand in the situation, and I identify in a different on in a no no way. How do you feel about the way the more mainstream kind of media and pop culture, um, portray queer and trans people? It's It's [00:18:00] a bit hard for me to say, because I'm I'm kind of connected and quite well into, like the Queer Media. And so I kind of do a lot of like unsubscribed to, um Quin gay star and queen and and all these other um, gay NZ and all these other, um, queer news sites. So [00:18:30] I get a lot of media from the queer community. And so it had. So I'm like, But you see that and lots of those would be like international. Yeah, so I kind of make an effort to be connected into queer information. Why is that important to you? Um, because it, um it tackles issues that affect me. And it gets me to understand [00:19:00] what's going on in my community and how, um, the issues that I might experience if I come out, come out as whatever. I come out as gender, queer or pansexual, and so it just kind of it's a way to kind of engage how people react. But when you get a lot of American stuff, you're like, Oh, scared as hell. Um, do [00:19:30] you see your any of your identities reflected, um, in any movies or TV shows like Have there been any characters or storylines that you can relate to? There was the R word, which was a while ago, which was about a group of lesbians, which was cool. Um, that's the only one I can think of, which is sad. Um, do you see any gender queer [00:20:00] people at all in the media? There was the euro. This year's Eurovision winner was a drag queen. So that's one example, isn't it? Depends how you look at that, I guess. Do you think, um, lots of stereotypes of anchor and trans people in the media? Yes, Stereotypes [00:20:30] are easy to reproduce and easy for people to relate to because they create this kind of idea of what a queer person is and some assumptions about them so you can go, OK, this is a queer person. They're gonna be like this, this and this and then OK, then you don't have to explain all those things to them in detail because they already have these assumptions about them. What would you like to see? More from the media and pop culture [00:21:00] diversity, the race orientation, gender. They had able bodied, disabled bodied. How do you feel about the marriage equality bill that passed last year? Yay! Yeah. Um, I think it's an important step forward because it's, uh, legitimising these relationships, saying yes, you [00:21:30] can be married. Yes, You recognise that you're having a long term relationship and a stable one at that, that you recognise that your relationship is recognised as, um, something important to you, something that you invest in and also like with, like if you break up or somebody dies, there's some legal stuff around her, whether [00:22:00] or not whether the stuff goes to, um, how the stuff is divided up and all that kind of stuff. Were you involved at all in making a submission or celebrating it? Watching the things? Um, no. What do you think? As someone who's polyamorous, what do you think about people who also want legal rights, marriage rights for polyamorous people and those relationships? Yeah, [00:22:30] I think before we even do that, it needs to be more talked about in the public eye and more more recognises this the way you can also have relationships. And that's OK. It's not. I don't even think it's talked enough in the public for for that step to be even thought of. Yet it's got some other steps it needs to take before that. Currently, what do you think are some of the most important, important [00:23:00] issues that are facing, um, care and twenties in New Zealand at the moment? Mental health, bullying and discrimination? What do you think are some of the solutions to those issues? Um oh, having queer Alliance, um, Queer Alliance Straight and Queer Alliance in schools where you have a group [00:23:30] which kind of straight people and gay and queer people can go to and they can to stick up for the rights of feather, um, queer and then do kind of queer things. And so it's not assumed that when you're sticking up for gay rights or queer rights that you are queer yourself that you can you can be straight and still stick up for, [00:24:00] um, Queer rights. Um, I think health workers in schools like like mental health people like, um, like more health promotion and in schools and also encouraging those things to be in the community as well. So it's not just relying on the skis to kind of fix their Children. [00:24:30] It's like OK, like having like a mental health after school programme, where you learn how to cope and stuff where they're doing, like workshops and stuff. So and so it's not relying just on the school to tackle it. Just take a more broader community or approach to it. Where do you think we might be in 10 years time? Oh, um, [00:25:00] based discrimination or acceptance. We may be a little bit more open and less scary coming out as queer. What are the your personal kind of hopes for your future? Um, that I can just that I can be me without any worries. and I don't have to worry about people discriminating against me, attacking me [00:25:30] or insulting me for what I am. Um, if you could give a message to a gay person struggling to come out as queer or gender queer, what would it be? Get people find people who accept you to begin with, like, kind of, like just kind of talk about these the issues of laon and queer and see how people respond. [00:26:00] If they are kind of on your side, you can say, OK, I'm this way And would you support me and be there for me and stuff and kind of help me through this process and just finding good friends you can trust to start off with and then slowly coming out to more and more people? And then, if some people, then you got people to fall back on the coming [00:26:30] out process, coming out to someone who's a bit AWOL and not pleasant? What's your favourite thing about being, um, a sexual deque poly person in New Zealand? Mhm. I like being gender queer because I can. I can wear any clothes I want, and I was just like I can shop in any section, probably the kids section, and [00:27:00] I can wear what I want. Um, I like being because I get to know all these different varieties of people and that they don't be slick of who they are because of the gender. I get to know them because I want to get to know that person and kind of in the end, I like being because I just like giving love and caring for people and having people close to me.
This page features computer generated text of the source audio. It may contain errors or omissions, so always listen back to the original media to confirm content.
Tags