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Can you tell me about how you describe your identity? Uh, fluid. Bisexual? What does that mean to you? Just that at different times I can be attracted to males or females, but I'm never actually attracted to them at the same time. So it just changes. Do you think that's a hard thing to like? Explain to people? Yes, very much so. It's hard because then you're trying to explain they have the term [00:00:30] bisexual, but they don't get that. There's different types. They just expect it to be the one. Um, can you tell me a bit more about what you mean by that one type of? Just that they expect that bisexual just means that you're attracted to both and they from what I've got a lot, is they think it's at the same time. So it's just generalisation. Have you found a lot of stereotypes or like, kind of bio? I've heard [00:01:00] the usual kind of stuff, like, um, that it doesn't exist by sexuality. Just if I choose that, um, the whole then you've got the whole It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. I've heard that a lot throughout the churches that I've been to and then, um, like, it's not what God wants. So, yeah, the different places [00:01:30] you end up with different kind of stuff. Some churches have lived because they've made me, like, want to choose or and that's kind of difficult because, like, it's they were both big parts of my life. So I just choose both because I don't see what I have to choose. Did you have to, um, come out to people in your life? Do you still have to? [00:02:00] Yeah. And most of my friends know I recently told my father's family that went over Great. They were completely fine with it. So it was relatively all right, coming out to my family. I came out to my friends. I've lost some, but that's OK. When did you come up? Uh, over the last year. I came over. I tried [00:02:30] coming out when I was 16, but none of my family would believe me. So I just kind of went back in the closet for a few more years. So yeah, um, what was that like? Kind of, you know, like being in the closet like for so long. And I think it's just It's horrible. It's just, like kind of lying to yourself at the same time because, like, you're trying to be someone. But at the same time, you're trying to fit into [00:03:00] anyone else's idea of who you should be, so you can't. It's just very suffocating. Do you think the kind of, um, churches and stuff played into that? Your family? Yeah, the churches did. I've left quite a few because of it. Um, because the last one I went to before the one I'm going to, which is Z now was a huge one because it was the Mormon Church. And [00:03:30] they told me that, um, the more the missionary told me that she was gay, too. But she's not gay any longer. And I don't think you can stop being something. I just think you can lie to yourself enough that you start to believe it. So, um, she said, what's more important, God or who you are, pretty much who you are being by. And I just left because I don't want I'm not gonna stick around [00:04:00] where I'm not wanted. Did you were you at school when you started to kind of become aware that you were bisexual. Well, something I figured out something was out when I was 14, but I put it down to I sing. I hung out with guys a lot, so I thought I was just singing girls is how my friends saw them. But, um, I figured out I came across the term bisexual when I was 16, so it all kind of started [00:04:30] a lot more into place. But I'm still trying to figure it out. All out. At that point. Was your school like a place where people were coming out or did it have any, like, support in place for people who were clear? Um, I went to Hagley. Um, there was no QS a that I was aware of when I was there, so Yeah, Although I found out since then, lots of people actually had a suspicion. I was And, [00:05:00] um, I didn't know. So I can't have been I must have been a bit obvious about it, so Yeah. So, Haley in Christchurch. So do you think, um, the Christchurch and Nelson communities are quite different places to be? I think it's just not. When I was at Hagley, it was just one of those things that didn't really seem to be talked about at all. No matter who you're around, it never really came up. I think Nelson is a lot more pro and [00:05:30] it does come up and it's kind of like it's not. It's not a taboo subject. So I think it was. It's a lot easier up here for me anyway. Is it important to you to kind of have a sense of belonging and being part of the queer community? Yes, it makes my life a lot easier because you're around people, you know, accept you for you and there's no judgement whatsoever. And people just like you [00:06:00] to be friends with you because of who you are. And it's not based on what you have or what you are. It's based on who. So that's probably a big one. How are you involved in the community? Um, just QS a, um I've always seemed to be in a QS a since Neiland minus when I was in Christchurch. So yeah, can you tell us what, um QS a means [00:06:30] quest Alliance and Keith Yeah, um how did you get involved in Keith? My first I was involved in and then from Nags. They found out about you when I was at. So I started going then and then when I came back up, I started coming back. Have you had any, like, highlights being involved in the group or things you've attended or everything? I mean, um, I love the [00:07:00] but, um, I just love It's one of my highlights of the week coming to QU. Do you think, um, being part of the group and the QS a at school and going on to, um the has made you, um, has it changed the way you feel about your identity or it's made me a lot more comfortable with myself. I mean, I wasn't comfortable with myself fully into last year. So and now I just kind of go [00:07:30] back to the theory that if someone doesn't like me based on my sexuality, they're quite narrow minded, and I really would rather not be hanging out with them anyway. Cool. How do you feel about the queer trends? Representation in the media? Like, Do you see characters that you can relate to on, like TV or on books on the news? I think it's great when you do see it, but I think there needs to be more of it. So it's more [00:08:00] normalised. And I think, yeah, it shouldn't be homophobia because, I mean, we're not another species or anything like, I think it's just ignorance and people just fear the unknown. And I just think it's silly because we're no different from anyone else. And I think it just should be put out in more and be more positive. Are there any, like TV shows or books or films or things like that that, um, [00:08:30] you've really liked because of the portrayal of queer characters? Um, we just start. There was a few, uh, I have no idea off the top of my head, to be honest, but I've seen quite a few that I like, um, the recent one that I liked that I watched was the Bird house, and that was just great. And I was just like gay people. It was, um, it was like all these different kind of characters [00:09:00] all in one movie, and it was just and that was a lot of drag. And it was just a really good movie. Do you see your your identity, like as a bisexual woman. Do you see that? Um, and characters at all in the media. I find it easier to come across ones that are, I think is a lot more tricky to come across. I haven't come across as many as I have been as lightly as bans or drag or what not. [00:09:30] I really haven't seen as much that are. What do you think about, um, like Facebook and Social Media is playing a part in, um, the queer community and how we connect with each other and things like that. Um, I think it's great because then it's easier to connect with other people, regardless of where they are, who you can relate to. And it's great for if there's something on like an event, [00:10:00] it's easy to figure out where it is and what it is and stuff. So I think it's very handy and the 10 to communication or getting in touch with people. What issues do you reckon are the kind of most hard things to deal with for, um, creating people in New Zealand? At the moment, I'd probably say bullying and homophobia and just like [00:10:30] people know, losing you be yourself, have you had much experience with them? Bullying, Yes, but not in terms of, um, homophobia, I think. What do you think the issues are gonna be in the future for people that do The times are changing. I think they're changing and they're getting better. But I don't think that the whole homophobia thing's gonna be cured overnight. [00:11:00] I think it's gonna take a while because you still have people. And, like especially parents, not necessarily accepting the kids because they are so and family members. So I think it's still gonna take some time, but I think it is getting better. What do you think about the marriage Equality bill passing recently? I think that's great. I think if you love someone, regardless of who it is that what you do pretty much buying closed doors is your [00:11:30] business and that I think it's great because you should be able to love whoever you love. It shouldn't be. You shouldn't be told that you can't marry someone you love. I just think that's wrong. Um, are you interested in getting married yourself? Kind of like family, that kind of thing, Yeah, one day. What are your kind of dreams like plans for the future. Do you want to, like, stay in Nelson or their particular like jobs [00:12:00] you're interested in or things you want to study? Um, I I'm gonna stay in Nelson because of my daughter, And, um and I just want to raise her up quite very open minded. And the job that I want to do is counselling. I'm gonna be a counsellor, and I'm interested at the moment in adults and GB RT. So I'm trying to weigh [00:12:30] out what I want to do within the counselling. Awesome. Do you find that, um, being bisexual and having your daughter Does that kind of change? People's like perceptions, Or does that make people assume things about you? I think some people probably assume stuff. Um, I don't really care. I'm just gonna raise my daughter as open minded and because I don't want her being homophobic. I just want her to know that people [00:13:00] are people, and you should you shouldn't. You should should judge people based on how they treat you. So yeah. Um what about, like relationships? You've had especially like being bisexual. Has it been tricky? Um, I've had one girlfriend. Mostly went out with guys. I think it's more. I find it easier with guys to know how to do it because it's like how [00:13:30] to make a relationship work because I've always gone out with guys. I guess it's more fear of experimenting going out with a girl because I don't know what the etiquette is. Pretty much it makes me nervous. So, yeah, um, do you think like, when you have been, um, with a male partner? How does that feel to your to the other side of you? Do people ignore it or [00:14:00] the current partner doesn't ignore it? Actually, he surprised me by when I first started dating him, and he said, Do you want a girlfriend as well? Um, it's not that he wants me to have one that's more. He wants me to be happy. Um, but I think it's just more gets complicated sometimes in my head, because if I'm more attracted to a girl and more wanting to be near a girl, then it really messes up my head a way bit in the context if I'm dating the opposite sex, [00:14:30] because it's just like you love this person, but you're not attracted to them adult, so it's just awkward. Do you see, um, lots of stereotypes about people in the queer community? Like what stereotypes do you hear about? I mean lesbian woman, bisexual people? Stereotypes? I think there's tonnes. I honestly wouldn't know [00:15:00] where to start. It's There's so many stereotypes. I mean, there's a stereotype. If you go to an all boys and all girls college that you're gonna end up gay, there is a stereotype. If you go to a a Christian school, you're not gonna end up queer at all. I think there's just a lot of stereotypes, so I think that stereotypes are just all completely and utterly wrong. Where do you think they come from? [00:15:30] I guess when it comes to schools thinking that if you're around the same sex and long enough, you'll probably turn queer. But I don't think you can really turn queer. I think you just are so I don't really care for stereotypes. What other, um, things in your life or parts of your identity are important to you. Like, are you involved in other groups outside of the queer community? Uh, no. Um, [00:16:00] the only stuff I really go to outside is really like If there's career events on in the same place that I am, then I'll go. But outside that, I'm it's not a lot. Um, do you find it hard? Because there aren't many people probably around your age and Nelson, who are also queer. Do you find that? Well, I'm the oldest one minus clear in youth, so [00:16:30] I'd say it does make it a bit tricky because there's not a lot of bad people there are in the group, and it's just easier when you can get someone who can completely and utterly relate on the same level. Yeah, definitely. Do you think, um, things have progressed more for people who are gay or lesbian than they have for bisexual people? I think you hear and see a lot more stuff in media and other stuff about gay and lesbian [00:17:00] than you do by. It's not as much as I've come across in any way. It's not really shown or spoken as much about how have your family reacted to you? Um, being bisexual? Well, my mom's reaction was, Are you sure about 50 times? My dad is like, Oh wow, OK, sweet more because he knew he couldn't. It's not [00:17:30] like he can change it, and my father's family is all fine with it. They my father, he's fine with it. They think it's great. So, yeah, it's slightly mixed between my mom and my stepdad and my father and his family. What do you know about, um, the history of New Zealand's queer and trans community? Or all I know about is that, uh, [00:18:00] if you go back to when my mom was young is that it wasn't accepted. It was a taboo subject. It was hidden and it was illegal. Other than that, I don't really know that a lot of the history Where do you think we're gonna be in the in the future? Well, I hope that it will just be a talked about subject, and it won't be taboo, and there won't be homophobia. And if everyone just accept everybody [00:18:30] as people, so that's where home will be and to finish up. What's your favourite thing about being queer and bisexual in New Zealand? Being different, I guess, like being unique being myself and like being able to have friends that are too in the community. So yeah, it's quite cool. You get to meet a lot of different people.
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