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OK, well, I first knew I was gay when I was about seven. Um, I always got on well with the girls, but always liked the look of the guys thinking I just wanted to be like them, but it was a bit more than that. Um, I basically didn't actually come out till I was 24. I broke up with my fiance, um, started drinking heavily, started getting into the drugs to cope with it all. Um, [00:00:30] but, uh, once I sort of realised what was happening and went to Sydney, which is supposed to be the second biggest gay capital in the world, that seemed to help a little bit. Um, And once I came out to my family and all that kind of thing, it was such a big relief to me. Um, they didn't deal with it very well. Mum still doesn't deal with it very well. She's known for four years now. Um, [00:01:00] I was absolutely petrified about coming out. Um, but a lot of my friends that I was hanging around with were gay, and they were all coming out around me, and I saw how much of a relief it was for them. So I thought, Well, I might as well do it myself. So I came out at work. I was in the Royal Australian Navy, and that was a big step for me. It was only just, um, legal. Um, so that was one of the reasons I hadn't come out earlier [00:01:30] as well. Um, I came out to all my work, colleagues and all that kind of thing, and they were really they were really good about it. Um, coming out to my mother at first, that was a bit of a nightmare. Was over the phone of one thing I wished I'd never done. But, um, she questioned me about it on the phone, and I just said yes. She went silent. Um said she'd get back to me later. She rang me a couple of hours later and told me not to tell my father. So I didn't end [00:02:00] up telling my father I still haven't actually told my father for because of her wish. Um, which is, I think, just as which is harder for her because she hasn't got anyone to talk to, except for my sister. But, um, she's now moved out of home and all that kind of thing. Um, we still have a close relationship, but not as close as I would like it to be, because I can't tell her everything. When I came out to my parents, it it [00:02:30] was like a huge weight off my shoulder. I remember the night I went to bed after I told my parents I had the best sleep I'd ever had in years. And it was just it was just such a relief. It was such a huge relief. It was like I didn't need to lie anymore. I didn't have to lead such a double life, which I've been doing for so many years. Um, everyone that is gay has a pretty good idea that they are. But a lot of people are very, [00:03:00] um, apprehensive about it. Um, some people live in areas where it's not well accepted. Um, if you're going to come out, make sure you come out with friends around you that you can really, really trust. Um, take it slowly, but don't take it too slow. Um, because when you come out, you wish she'd done it. Years ago, my first male sexual experience was an absolute [00:03:30] nightmare. I was very drunk one night at this mixed bar. Um, he actually picked me up and, uh, took me back to his place. Um, uh, the excitement was amazing. Doing it was OK. It wasn't what I really expected. But when That next morning when I got home, I was, uh, really, um, really upset. [00:04:00] I was expecting something absolutely out of this world. Something absolutely amazing. Unfortunately, it wasn't, um, that morning I got home. I felt very sick. Um, I was absolutely disgusted myself. Um, I actually lost my virginity to a guy before a girl always thought I'd get married and have kids and have a station wagon, all that nice thing. And I thought it actually totally destroyed my life. I wasn't [00:04:30] for a couple of years after that that I, uh I actually met someone that was really nice and very caring. And, uh, it made it took a while for me to actually adjust to it.
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