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Going back to grade five being in primary school and having school sports. I was always attracted to the male form. Um, I remember there was a time in the changing room where they were getting change at school. And I remember looking at, like one of our PE teachers and our principal in the locker room getting changed after having a swim. And I was just fascinated with the Penis and having hair in it. And I thought, Wow, I'm really attracted to this thing. And [00:00:30] then from then on, it started building up. So when you were as a young child, because I was quite flamboyant and I was into, like, the makeup and the nails, and I was all camped up when I was a little boy. Then I got to about high school, and because I was living in the West, it was quite difficult coming out, especially having the real macho wild boys, even though that I was a European boy. I found it quite hard, got to express myself, and at the age of 13, I got into [00:01:00] dance and I wanted to be like a young talent time and I been dancing. Now since I was 13. I'm 22 years of age and all through dancing. I was very scared to come out. Um, just in case, because it was all competitive work. I was very scared, Um, to about year 11. I was still haven't come out, But I was slowly coming out because I was doing painting and I wanted to become an artist. And [00:01:30] through all my art life, I was focusing on the male form. We used to have life drawing models coming in. I used to sit there and try to focus, and I enjoyed painting and drawing male nudes. From then on to about year 12, I met one of my friends and then she was a lesbian and we decided I used to have girlfriends like I had a girlfriend for six months. Um, I was intimate with her, but I didn't have any sexual fantasies to towards [00:02:00] her. I couldn't, in other words, get it out to have intercourse with her. But we kissed and cuddled, and I really liked her. She was a very attractive girl. She had, like, long blonde hair with great breast, and we used to go up to the club. Um, we used to go down to King Street, which is one of the public clubs called Inflation, and we stand around and then slowly, slowly I sort of met this lesbian friend of mine, and I thought she knew I was gay [00:02:30] and I was in denial. No, I'm not gay. Don't even mention it. So we ended up going to a club one night and I wanted to try kissing a boy and going to this club like walking into three places, which is in Melbourne, But it's closed down now. It's called The Market walked in and I thought, Oh, my God, I was expecting anyone to walk around in the nude, but they weren't They were jumping around to this techno music, and I got into the podium because I was a dancer doing the competitive work. [00:03:00] Um, a guy confronted me and I was really scared, and I sort of said, No, I'm not interested. And then I went up to my friend and I said, Oh, you know, um, are we gonna pick up tonight the lesbian girl that I was with and she said, Oh, no, I don't think so. I'm too we all too ugly to pick up all these beautiful people. And then from then on, I was like, Oh, my God, I'm too ugly. I'm too ugly. So he came up to me again, and I remember having a star on my right cheek, just a little glitter star that he can get from the safe [00:03:30] way. It was all camped up just a little with a little sparkle. And he said, Oh, no, get rid of that. So he flicked it off my eye. And then I kissed him and I was there with one of my best friend and my brother. Um now, my best friend had big, strong feelings for me. She was, like, in love with me. Why don't you give anyone else a chance? Not me. And after kissing this guy, I lost my best friend, who I adore, and we were always close together. [00:04:00] Then from then on, I started realising my sexuality. My art was very influenced. I was very flamboyant. It came out into my dancing where before I was too scared to do a move where now I'm just like, let everything go. I am who I am and I'm really happy of coming out because coming from a religious family being also Greek, it has affected me, especially with family, where I confronted my mother and I told her that I was gay [00:04:30] and she absolutely went ballistic. She's like, um, I prefer to see myself dead buried to see my son, holding hands with another man. Um, but I sort of confronted her and said, Listen how this is my life, but, uh but I don't rub it in with her. I'm still living at home at the moment and working. Um, I don't really flaunt any guys. I don't bring any boys home. I've had boyfriends. I've had several different boyfriends, [00:05:00] but I don't think she's ever met any of them. And if she has, we haven't done anything to show her that. That was my man that I was with. And I'm just happy for coming out and being the person I was. And then I ended up telling my brother first, and I said to him, You know, I've kissed the guy and I don't know. I think I am gay. And now my brother, who's the oldest one? He's about 30. [00:05:30] He's a real masculine man. Um, he's black batting karate. He's a boxer. So you can sort of just imagine what sort of person he is married. And he was like, Oh, you have to tell Mum if you don't tell Mum, I will. And that was the big subject. And I turned around and said, Mum, if he doesn't tell you, I'm gonna tell you I don't give a care. I don't care anymore. So after telling my mum she was just like screaming ahead of, I had to go to a priest and confess. Now, that was the worst [00:06:00] thing I could do. I ended up going to a priest telling him that I was gay. He said to me that I was gonna go to hell. Um, being gay was not part of our Greek Orthodox religion, and there must be something wrong with you for being attracted to the same sex. I then replied to him and said, God made me to be happy on this earth. And if I'm happy, um, I think he also will be happy. I don't really care. Not that I follow religion much anymore, but I used to be a Greek Sundays [00:06:30] church boy that I used to be going to church every Sunday. And I had mum sitting on the bed, one just screaming, saying, Oh, I can't believe that you're gay. Where did I go wrong as a mother. Is it my fault? What are the relatives gonna think? What are the neighbours gonna think? How did I bring up my son in this world? Holding hands with another male and kissing him? I don't think it works. I want him to get married. I want him to have Children. And that was a big, strong part [00:07:00] in the Orthodox to get married, have Children have a good job study, do all that now I've studied, I've done uni, I've done art, I've done painting and now I've got a good job. But still, that wasn't good enough for my mother because I didn't have a girlfriend and I wouldn't be having any. She won't be having any grandchildren. I haven't really had much [00:07:30] a sexual experience. I have, but I haven't. I haven't been around that long. I've only been out for two years and I'm sort of getting used to the gay scene. I don't think I was ever very taunted, but I used to kiss a lot of boys in the night. Um, but I also did that when I was with girls. Um, I'm quite feminine, I think. And I like feminine males. Um, the first experience would have had to be my first boyfriend. [00:08:00] Yeah, Um, it's when I was 20 when I first came out. I'm 22 now, but yeah, I remember meeting this guy. Stop. He was very thin. He had blonde hair, leather pants, and he was standing behind me, and I kept looking at him, and I was a person that would go up to someone. I've never been very shy. So I went up to this guy sky, and I spoke to him and we ended up kissing. And then about a week later, I started [00:08:30] seeing him and I went to his house, which was near the nightclubs and the street commercial road. And I remember saying to him, I can play with you, but you're not allowed to play with me. Then he eventually took me upstairs where he was a lot older than me. He was 25 So he knew what to do. And I didn't do any an or sex with him. It was mainly just for play. [00:09:00] And I started seeing him for about 23 weeks, and then I never spoke to him again. So that was just the first experience sort of thing. Be prepared before coming out. Um, think of any questions. You have to be 100 and 10% sure. Um, I know there's a fear of all the gay bashing and stuff. I know I had that sort of fear, but I don't. I think it just if it happens, it happens. But it hasn't happened to many [00:09:30] people. I know, Um, so you have to be really prepared and careful. Um, especially with sex, safe sex. The way to go, um, control your hormones going out to a club. Think about the way I see it is everyone has got AIDS, so you have to be protected. That's just a I know it's a negative thought that to make myself not have any unprotected sex, I believe that everyone has the virus. And [00:10:00] I mean, you can't get the virus by kissing and stuff, but if you're thinking of having an sex and going all the way through just meeting a guy at a club, going back to his house that I have ever done that, but be prepared.
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