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Right. Hi, everyone. Uh, my name is Alex. Um, I'm gonna be facilitating this panel discussion on, um, tactics for self care and mental health. Um, and as we know, this is, um, the theme of this is wellness. So this is, um, really, hopefully helpful. Be helpful for all of you, Um, to hear a little bit about what our panellists have to say. Um, on this topic, um, as it's it's a pretty big reality that a lot of people [00:00:30] in our community, um, face mental health issues. Um And so and it's not always easy to, um know how to take care of ourselves and our bodies and our minds. It's easy to forget that we have bodies sometimes, Um, it's easy to neglect our mental health. But on the other hand, um, there are some really helpful things and practical things that we can, um, teach ourselves and learn and share within our community about [00:01:00] what? What we do find helpful in those times of crises or when we're feeling stressed or anxious or really low. Um, so I thought we'd just start off by introducing ourselves. Um, if you want to share a little bit about your your journey. Feel free to do so, um, maybe something about self-care what self-care means to you. Um, and I just wanna acknowledge that we're all, like, at very different stages within our experiences of mental health and and [00:01:30] we all we all feel different things at different points, and things come and go. So just want to acknowledge that, um, yeah. So, um, my name is, um I don't know what else we say. Health history. Um, I go by all day. Um, and I was diagnosed with depression and a few other things, like, five years ago. Yeah. Um, my name is Kate. I use they then pronounce, um [00:02:00] and saying Kara, plus anxiety disassociation, Um, and a bit of mania. Fun. I'm Rick. Richard. He pronouns, uh, I've had moderate to chronic back pain and headaches since I was about 11, 12 years old, and so self care for mentally is very important to me because I already have a lot of physical pain going on. So it's just about, man, you know? So I'm very focused on managing selfcare because of keeping mental [00:02:30] emotional. Well, because my physicals aren't well most of the time everyone. My name is the I use the pronouns. Um, just a snippet of my approach to mental health. Um, I do live with a chronic pain from an injury, um, over a decade ago and one of the ways that I have, um, worked with that physical pain and also mental pain. Um, living in the patriarchy is, uh, through [00:03:00] meditation, so I'll probably talk a bit about that. Hi, guys. Um, I'm Jay. I use their them pronouns. Um, I haven't officially been diagnosed with anything, but I've, um, really struggled with my mental health in general, Um, with, like, depressive feelings and anxious feelings. Um, since I was probably 13 or 14. Um, yeah, and I've sort of had a very, like, up and down journey with it and got some cool tips to help [00:03:30] you cope. Hi, I'm Jared. Um, hear him pronounce. Um, for me, it would probably just be kind of like, um, friendships ending and like relationships ending, but then also, like restarting from that as well and kind of like self-care around. That is just I don't know, just doing what it is for you to be happy. And that's kind of what I'll probably be doing. Awesome. Thank you, everyone. Um, so [00:04:00] I thought that we could, um just each of us we could talk about something that we find really helpful for our, um, mental health and self care. So maybe talking about one or two specific things that you have found really helpful, um, to you and then explain. Yeah, How that's benefited you and your mental health. Anyone can start. We don't have to go in a particular order. Well, I find selfcare. The definite definition of the word is is really being [00:04:30] self-aware and acting accordingly, which is you can say. Oh, crap. I only got four hours sleep last night. OK, but what are you gonna do about it? So self-care is then going, I'm gonna make sure I get an early night sleep tonight and try and catch up. So that's like number one, understand? The word is is really, you know, acknowledge what might be wrong and just also see how you can try and fix it. So it it it I don't know, part of like being proactive, proactive, because that also feels good as well. You can wake [00:05:00] up the next morning and go, Yeah, II. I did try and get more sleep tonight, and it's sometimes hard to do when you're in that state of when you are feeling down. It's hard to pick yourself up in those situations, but maybe having some reminder external reminder that that's important. Yeah, um, I find that one of the things that I've recently realised is really important in terms of self-care and mental health, but also being in a community of young people but also of queer people [00:05:30] where, um, like lots of different, complicated, simultaneous mental health issues exist at once in one person but in multiple people as well. And so when you have that many people, um, potentially struggling all at once, it can become really important to have boundaries because, like, I kind of think of it as like, you can't bail out a sinking ship with the bucket filled with holes. And sometimes that's what it can feel like when you and the majority of your friends are depressed or anxious or suicidal, and it's really overwhelming and [00:06:00] you're trying to pick someone else up while you're not really that OK yourself. And so I think it can make it really important that you kind of are laying out people where your energy is at where your capacity is at and what your limits are in terms of. Like if, like, you're kind of like OK, I'm out of my depth on this one and I think you need to, like, find out someone else or someone with more experience or more expertise to take this on because it's too much for me, um, and that it's OK [00:06:30] to do that, even if it is your friends and like, you want to help them. But also there's a limit to what you can give or what you can muster up as well as like, but like, you're maybe not the yeah, in the best position to be doing it, Um, and so it was like It's definitely like a help your friends thing. But it's also like if helping your friends is actually getting you to a point of absolute burnout, then that's it's not safe either. So and the same on the other side. Don't [00:07:00] self care isn't dumping all your problems onto your friends? It's asking, Hey, can I dump my problems onto You are of the I'm self caring. You're self caring self-care together, OK? Did you want to? Well, yeah. I mean, I was gonna pretty much say really similar to Kara about kind of learning. Something I've been thinking about a lot lately is kind of saying no when people come to you asking for help because they think especially at this in queer communities and friendships like, we lean on [00:07:30] each other a lot with some quite heavy stuff. And sometimes it's kind of best to say, Hey, like, I totally hear what you're feeling right now, and I sympathise, and I empathise, but, like, I'm not in a space right now where I can help you with this. Um, how about you talk to this person or how about you, da da da like, and I'll check in with you in the morning and it's just kind of separating yourself like just kind of keeping yourself safe and supporting others. And I think I mean, I think that goes both ways as well. Like if [00:08:00] you're asking someone for support, like checking in like Is this like are you Cove? If I have a little, we have to talk about this thing like is now an OK time Pretty much what you were saying. Yeah, yeah, To piggyback off what you're saying. You know, consent, I think is often looked at in a very, uh, almost like binary way. Is it like, is it a, You know, can can this certain thing happen in this certain context? Often it's thought about in terms of sex and sexuality. [00:08:30] But consent is applicable in every aspect of every relationship, from my perspective. And when it comes to mental health, when I, um, do make the choice to check in with the people around me Or, you know, if I'm able to say, Hey, friend, you know, are you available to talk to me about this thing? Um, it gives them context to be able to honour themselves and to honour our relationship. Um, I think one of the edges of what we're skirting around right now is that if I love you, then I'm gonna give [00:09:00] everything and be available constantly, and that a relationship is based on these absolutes of I'm constantly available for to meet all of your needs. And that's just not sustainable. I've found at all. Um, the other thing that I would add to self care in terms of like, lifelong goals, um is the act and the practise of befriending oneself. And that is something that, uh, you know, because [00:09:30] we're all changing beings and because the world is constantly putting things in our way that bring up discomfort. Um, there is there's no arrival of. I've fully befriended my myself myself. I've fully done the work as I've experienced it. Um, but it's the act of of building that into one's day, the act of of making that a part of one's life, where I'm gonna bring in that self reflection I'm gonna bring. I'm gonna nurture my self awareness so that I can when hopefully in a positive relationship, someone [00:10:00] asks me if I'm available, I can I can actually love them and honour that relationship by saying I can't because I love you and I love myself. And this is what this this is how to nurture this relationship. This is how to make it sustainable. Um, yeah, kind of like adding on to that as well as kind of finding that equal balance between, like, the people you meet as well. So yes, you can be, like, down sometimes. And yes, other people can be dumb, but like, yeah, just kind of finding that balance between you two and just kind of making it seem [00:10:30] like it will work in order to be happy as well. Yeah. Um, yeah. It's a really good point. Um, so much to work with. Um, yeah. I think like, as others have said, being nice to yourself is really, really important. Um, even if like, you just start saying nice things about yourself in your head that you don't believe, um, you you would be really surprised how much of a difference that makes. So instead of like, if you make a mistake thinking, Oh, God, I'm such like I'm such an idiot. Like I've ruined everything [00:11:00] you know, like, very quickly. You can spiral down that rabbit hole sometimes. If you see that, like start to happen, you can be like no, actually like no, Like, I'm not. I'm gonna try and think a nice thing about myself, even if you don't believe it over time, um, you start thinking in a more kind way about yourself. Um and also like we just one thing that I find really helpful in, like, my own personal self care is, um, being hyper always, um, which I know, like it takes [00:11:30] a while to be able to get to that stage where you can, like, sort of plan things in advance. Um, but for me, like in little sets, what that looks like is making checklists and breaking down big, like difficult tasks into lots of small, manageable ones and sort of like, maybe being like, OK, today I'm gonna do this small thing and feel a sense of accomplishment in doing that because even that might feel like a lot on this day, Um, or setting aside some time to do like, uh, an hour a day to do, like, admin and reply to all those [00:12:00] emails I don't want to, but need to to be a student and a volunteer and stuff. Um, yeah, Or it might be like having a diary. And just like writing down when you've got commitments so that you don't feel taken by surprise when they actually arrive. Um, just little little things to make your life a bit easier and a bit more manageable in the long run. Um, I find it really helpful. I think an important one is is love yourself. But tough love is always a little helpful, too, like [00:12:30] you might not really want to eat those vegetables. But you know they're good for you, right? Like it's just a basic example, but it's the same of you might feel depressed or something. And you you stay inside a lot, and that's fine to do for, say, a little while to kind of help recoup yourself. But there is a point where maybe it's a good idea just to see what, just to see one friend just say hi or or or just nag them to come over and say hi to you. But you know, and and and it's totally fine to just tiptoe your way out back into social life. But it's important to get that tough love [00:13:00] of Just just do it. Just go do it. Go do it. You need it. You need to say hi to someone. You need a good laugh, have some jokes with some friends. You know, it's tough. Love is important as as as important as love, I Yeah, there's something really, um, poignant about what you just brought up Richard. A few of us were chatting over lunch about the importance of like, you folks know what I thought? What I mean when I mentioned your your inner voice, like or that you maybe hear an inner voice that there's There's there's something inside of [00:13:30] I'll speak for myself. Um, I have you know, uh, let's see, where do I wanna start with this? First of all, um, like patriarchy and colonialism have, I think disenfranchised and put a lot of pressure around, uh, neurodiversity in the room. So for those of you that, like, do hear multiple voices and and that, like, have I that identify with that, um, I wanna make sure that what I say is not at all on the edges of shaming you. Only that if, as in in [00:14:00] my personal growth in life, the more that I have listened to myself. The more time that I have spent self reflecting, the more that I can hear. Like you might think of them like the little the devil on your shoulder versus the angel. Like who you're gonna listen to, the more that I look like Look into those and and do the personal work of, um, being on a mental health journey. The more that I realise, there's actually quite a few. There's there's a multiplicity of attitudes and perspectives that if I listen in, I can hear and something that was brought up over at the table is the the nurturing and loving inner [00:14:30] parent parent. And, you know, it's like, you know, tough love is black and white. Um, could be like, Oh, you have to do this and you have to do that But sometimes an an inner parent could be like This is really important that you do this and I'm going to sort of hold space for for that process. Um, I know for myself a big part of my mental health journey was grappling with my mother's substance abuse journey and that being the child of an addict household brought a lot of barriers [00:15:00] and and things to work with, uh, in in growing up and growing into myself and and developing that So one of the biggest parts of my mental health journey and recovery is developing an inner loving parent that can say what you know, not just like you have to do this this way, but someone that can can actually nurture myself, you know, and and not having a perfect parent that met all of my needs throughout my entire life. Like I doubt many people in the world get, um, to be able to have that voice, be a part of the the sort [00:15:30] of symphony that's happening inside me and to and to nurture that voice and to to, you know, offer myself tools, um, to to work with that. It's been a very healing experience. And if any of you have questions about that, I can talk to you more after the panel. Hm? So if it's a if it's a school, holidays and your parent voice is going, Oh, go to bed, get a good night's sleep, you go. No, I don't need to. That's fine, you know generally. But if it's if it's a school night, you know, let that inner parents say Go to go to bed early. You've got school tomorrow, OK, fair. Fine, fine. I'll do it. [00:16:00] So what I'm hearing is that self-care it. It is hard work, and it's probably one of the hardest things that we do because I don't. It's why. Why is it that we're so its so much? Yeah, it involves so much self criticism. It does, but it's that fine balance you need to give yourself room and space, and you need to be easy and kind on yourself. Show that self compassion that we always talk about. But at the same time, it does involve a little bit of even if you're not feeling like doing [00:16:30] something kind to yourself, even if you're not believing it, you just sometimes have to just drop the ball and and do it anyway. And you'll more than likely feel better afterwards. So just maybe even keeping that thought in the back of your head that I if I don't want to do it, as long as I know that I I know I'll feel better afterwards. If you can see the the Long-term end goal of of feeling better afterwards, you go. Oh yeah, I did it. Who finally got that out? Yeah, another, another choice shouldn't [00:17:00] feel like a chore, but sometimes it does. Yeah, certainly. I mean, it's it's maintenance, it is it. It's a chore. It's a maintenance you have to do. You gotta brush your teeth. You got to wipe your butt. You gotta make sure your head is clean. It's maintenance. It's supposed to be boring and and not fun to do. But it is still important. It is. OK, Um, yeah. I just wanted to comment on what you were saying about, like, self criticism, and I think, like because I'm kind of all about, like, positive and negative words and associations and I think sometimes, like rather than thinking [00:17:30] about self criticism, like kind of thinking about it as self reflection. So rather than like yeah, rather than like, you're critiquing the But I don't know the stuff you're feeling or thinking or doing. It's kind of like actually reflecting on it. So it's like we're being non judgmental, and we're just kind of assessing it for what it is and thinking like, Why do I feel this like, Is that actually a real thing? I'm feeling like, Why do I think? And like, kind of just like go like looking at things rather than like [00:18:00] but yeah, I. I kind of like feel it as like a looking out rather than like crushing in kind of thing. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's a good perspective. Looking at it, Um, just touching back on more like, um, positive practical things that we like to do. Um, like they do meditation. Um, are there other sort of tangible things that we can do? I say laughing with friends, laughing with friends, laughing with friends. It's always a good I. I find that one that helps me the most. It doesn't matter how sore my back [00:18:30] is that day. If my friend makes me it says it says a bad pun or something, It's great. It makes me feel a lot better. Yeah, I think there's something to be said for structure and routine. Um, I know for me and the times where I've had the the best mental health or the longest streaks of feeling positive, Um, it's because I've built in structure to my days and have a have a way that, um, you know, I'm able to make sure that I'm getting enough sleep and that I'm eating three square meals and that I'm attending to my life in ways that are that [00:19:00] it's relevant and I find that like it can be good to have sort of a sort of imagined routine or to do list, or like whatever, like a plan in place so that if you and it can be a really loose plan like I, I don't use that term very, um, specifically. But like if you're starting to sort of downward spiral or have burnout or for me, if I have, like, um, post traumatic stress, um, flare up, then I kind of need to take the time to actually acknowledge that this is a hard time and that maybe [00:19:30] when normally if I'm not struggling with this sort of thing, I will be doing more than just the basics. But like sometimes I I find that it's important to be like OK, well, this week's been really hard, and I'm just gonna acknowledge that, so this week I'm probably gonna be a bit of a recluse. I'm gonna do my basics. I might not shower as much, and then once I've worked through that, I'm gonna like, have more energy, be able to kind of open up what I'm able to do. But like I like having that routine of, like, what do I do when I'm really struggling What's the sort of bare minimum stuff that I can [00:20:00] do That'll get me through? And maybe I'm not having the best time, but I'm I'm acknowledging that it's hard and I'm gonna, like, spend that week just like surviving it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Kind of with that as well, Like acknowledging what you're, like, feeling like I for myself. Like I know. Like you guys like to plan things. Um, but on the other side, Like going outdoors and just being like away from everything and just doing yourself like, I love going for walks by myself [00:20:30] or just maybe watching a movie by myself. Um, just getting away from everything and just focusing on yourself is kind of the best thing you could do as well. Yeah. Yeah. And like, um, going off of that as well. Like, um, you have to live with yourself forever. So why, that wasn't so, um so like, you might as well like, like, be nice to yourself and do nice things for yourself. Like by [00:21:00] yourself, um, for example, over like, um, summer. I was working full time and was in a different city and missing my family and missing my partner and my friends, Um, and I didn't really have a lot of time to myself. Um, so one day, I decided on a Friday to be like I'm working from home, um, and just decided to, like, do a really nice day of things that I enjoyed. So I, like, went on a big long bike ride. Um, that was like an hour and a half and then came [00:21:30] back and had a nap in the sun, had a shower, took myself out to a fancy lunch and got all up just to, like, hang out in a restaurant alone and eat oysters and drink wine. Um, and then I went home and, like, baked and cooked dinner for the people I was living with, and that was like, honestly, such a nice and beautiful day. And I had such a good time just hanging out by myself. Um, and usually, like, I think a lot of people wouldn't really think of doing things like that for themselves, like just enjoying time in your own company and like, doing things that you enjoy that [00:22:00] you might not otherwise do. Um, and I think like in terms of short term mental health like that's quite valuable as well as just, like, treat yourself. Yeah, but not not in an excessive way. Treat is a treat because it treats you need to have money for rent. So I said, yeah, like routine. Um, like, as part of your routine, Just eating healthy food and getting good nights sleep. Throw into your routine as well, Like socialising with friends on the weekend and just or [00:22:30] even just scheduling time for yourself. But, yeah, the routines routines are a good one. One other thing, too, Um, about the process of I love what you shared about taking yourself out for treats is, um you know, when I when I have those thoughts that creep up in my head there's a couple of things that I do the ones that are that are just like, Oh, I can't think this sometimes I will literally just sing them away, be like la la la, la la No, no. Um, But one of the reasons that that I I do that and that I've developed that practise is because, um, you know, I really [00:23:00] want to be a good friend to myself. and and like it was said here is, uh, even though the self the ego right is is growing and adapting and changing all the time. Um, I really do wanna do right by my life force and by the opportunity that I have here, like being a human being in this world alive right now. Um and that means, you know, compassion in from my Buddhist perspective, you know, compassion isn't, uh all beings are entitled to compassion. And that does include myself And, um, you know, when when those [00:23:30] thoughts come up, it's like, Would I say this to a friend of mine? Would would I say, would I look at them in the face and say the things that I think to myself in my dark hours like No way. And if I can treat myself like I caught myself just the other day, I'm like, Wow, I am really a person who is trying to learn right now, you know, it can really be like with that much kind of practise to switch it and be like I, you know, to have again that compassion and rootedness like I am doing a hard thing. Good job me. Keep going. I love you. Right. [00:24:00] To have that be the central narrative of my life is like it takes reat, and you can do it totally. And it is not a selfish thing to do. Right. But you're self first. True. Yeah, but being selfish is more taking advantage of others for your own gain. Yeah, that's that's selfish. Self care is taking advantage of yourself for your own. Um, a lot of a lot [00:24:30] of the time we hear the word resilience come up in in self-care and getting through getting through life in general. Um, I was wondering whether you think that the the term, like, the concept of resilience or like and getting, like, you know, picking yourself back up. Um, if you fall fall over whether you think that's a helpful thing, Um, whether you think there are other ways that we can sort of think about self-care and [00:25:00] and looking after ourselves in in times of in times of, um, when we're not feeling great. Yeah. Yeah. Um, well, we were talking about this this morning. Um, because my high school was very, like, all about emotional resilience and like getting through the hard times to pass N CE A because I thought that was the focus. And like I think it it's really like until right now. I didn't actually, like, swap it around in my head. But this morning I was saying to Alex like, [00:25:30] Oh, you know, I don't really like the idea of resilience. It's like, you know, pushing your feelings to the side blah, blah, blah. But I was just thinking now that actually like the times where I let myself be sick and I myself have symptoms and I let myself feel what I'm actually feeling. I think that is a form of resilience because like that's me being resilient against the illness is actually giving myself time to be ill and have, like, you know, like not push it down because by pushing it down, [00:26:00] it's It's not actually letting it have space to breathe, and you kind of need that to be able to work for yourself. Resilience can certainly be a necessary component. Sometimes, like if you're supporting a family, if you might need to be resilient and just get through that work week like it sometimes you know there are extreme situations, but otherwise, in terms of like mental health in terms of mental health, generally, [00:26:30] um, just talk to somebody. I think the word resilience to me doesn't necessarily mean being like your ability to cope in the moment. I think, um, the like What resilience means is being a is like, recognising that you're having a hard time. Like Kate was saying, Um and like giving yourself time to, like, experience that and like, get better slowly. And that might mean, like taking time off of school or like just deciding that you're [00:27:00] not gonna reply to those emails right now or like just doing any number of things. And I think, um, I think it's not like because some, some people might think that like, Oh, it's how fast you can recover from this thing. But I don't think it's necessarily that. I think it's just the process, um, of recovering, and that's like looks different for everyone and it takes different amounts of time. Um, yeah, and I think I. I definitely think like it's an important component of self care, but not in the way that a lot of people [00:27:30] think, because I could I could have been resilient and and put up with the boys in my school. But I said I wanted to kick them in the nuts, so I kept them in the nuts. Me self defence. Yeah. So sometimes you can go. No, I'm not gonna put up with that for me. Like resilience. Kind of is, um yeah, it is like trying to get back up on your feet, But like, for me, when I go through things like, it's not gonna take overnight to do things like so I just focus on myself like, even [00:28:00] if you have to shout out your friends for quite a while but, like, just kind of, Yeah, allow yourself to get back up at your own pace. Don't like rush it. There's nobody telling you to get over things. You just gotta kinda go at your own pace and then yeah, and I think there's strength in, like, confronting how you're feeling And, like, not in, like, a negative way, but like in recognising how you're feeling and putting the tiger on the table and having a yell at it, Um, [00:28:30] yeah, and just like recognising like this is how I feel and this is like what it's gonna take for me to like, not feel like this, Um, anymore. I feel a bit better. Yeah, it's acknowledging. I don't feel that great and then going, I'll watch a movie, they'll they'll cheer me up. I'll watch a comedy. It's It's acting as well as acknowledging, which is, I think, the important part. I feel like sometimes the way that I've heard resilience we talked about in [00:29:00] the sort of mainstream mental health kind of all that's around with John and his ads and stuff, where it sort of feels like resilience is being treated as if it's a substitute for systems that are oppressing people not actually being changed. And like I think we will probably on the same page that like like he and patriarchy and transphobia and all those sorts of things shouldn't exist. They shouldn't be institutionalised into our mental health care system and our health care system. [00:29:30] And so, like the idea that minorities or whatever word you wanna use should take it upon themselves to become so strong that they can deal with this amount of like degradation and exclusion at an institutional, national and global level is just like ridiculous and like, really unfair to like. Put that on to the people who are being oppressed by their systems to like, Oh, you can just advocate for yourself when your doctor is being transphobic or whatever and it's just like they shouldn't be doing that. And so I feel like [00:30:00] it's like separate from this idea that you should take it all on board yourself and like, cope with the conditions. I think it is important that you can kind of have this ability to work through things and to persist and to survive. Um, but I don't think you should have to constantly be the one, like as an individual, but as a community taking on board this crap that's dealt to you sort of thing. So I guess it's like I kind of hate [00:30:30] that word in the way that it's used with that idea behind it, that this is your burden and society is not going to change for you. And I think that those systems should change. Um, I got a deluge of of custom, of of co-workers all coming up to me. Oh, you're so brave. You're so brave. When I came out of work and I. I don't like being called brave because I shouldn't have to be brave, right? Like in this this situation that's not should be a scary thing to [00:31:00] II. I don't like being called brave, but all my my mom and her friends all call me brave. I'm like, No, no, you're not. Yeah, they're all looking at it from a perspective. We're looking at it from the queer perspective. Like Why can we just be not just, like with resilience of coping with, like transphobia or biphobia and stuff, but also this idea that resilience is like, if you're resilient, then you can get back to work, or then you can be in full time employment And, like, I just don't think that that's for everyone or for anyone like, [00:31:30] um, like I don't think it is. It is our economic system, like capitalism is a mess. I know. Um, like, I don't think the goal like the way AC C works where they're trying to push people off of their supported payments or whatever instead of being like, Well, maybe this person needs to not work like maybe that should be what's considered, and some people with mental illnesses and chronic pain on, like, I don't think the bar of success is that they manage to, like, put up with all the suffering so that they [00:32:00] can get into employment. Like, I think it's quite coercive sometimes. Like, you'll tough it out. And I don't think people should have to like, yeah, yeah. Or at least just better navigating like more appropriate jobs. Yeah. If if someone's got a leg injury, well, you can give them a disc job. You know, like, I'm sure there should be. There could be a way around that. Mm. I'm not sure if I should. I mean, like, contributing to society. I mean, [00:32:30] yeah, I think contributing to society isn't interesting. Even volunteer work and stuff like that. Yeah, it can be meaningful. I think that a lot of people and I guess I'm speaking for mostly myself. But the way that work and certain education systems are structured is working against you. So, um, stuff like sitting exams or, um, making meetings or doing projects or, like, these things actually don't [00:33:00] work for the individual. They work for the, um I guess the system, whatever system it is and I think I think work is like I mean, yes, it's a way to move society forward. But, like with hashtag socialism, um, you know, just Yeah, I don't know. It just kind of feeds into that whole of it. Like you are a worker. That is your purpose. Like you exist, exist to work and contribute to society rather than, like, contribute to your own well-being. I think it's just like an interesting [00:33:30] thing to kind of have to think about. Yeah. Um OK, great. Um so let's just wrap up. I did want to leave some time, just in case anyone else wanted to contribute some of their, um, tactics for mental health and looking after themselves, if you want to share anything or if you also have any questions, so yeah, um, South car on a budget and not just like a money budget, but also, like a time budget of like, if your life is really busy. [00:34:00] Me too. We've got a little bit of spare time. And what's your advice on something that's not expensive that you can do to trick yourself? You know, um, take really long bathroom breaks at work, like shove your book down your pants. Talk to your mum like do it on your boss's time. They ask me, I think also just sleep. [00:34:30] I think sleep is such an underrated thing. Like Like I find my like. I definitely know for myself, like my depression and anxiety are so much lower when I've had, like, a solid eight or nine hours sleep. And I think that is something we kind of deprive ourselves of quite a bit and definitely makes a big difference. Lack of sleep can can prevent the the, um HTP, the five HD chemical producing in your brain, which is the happiness chemical. So getting good sleep is very helpful towards depression, [00:35:00] I say hard to do when you're depressed, So it's a bit of a paradise. Sorry about that. Um, I say have a dance. Any chance you get, turn on your favourite jams and just shake it out. That's what I That's my go to shake it and you do it. So, um, we'll just go to, um I just wanted to say, as someone who has struggled with a cohort of lots of different things that came on time now, um, and is still kind of [00:35:30] voice heard that it's really important to remember that when you're doing stuff, you're not so good. That's also OK and that we often get stuck in this kind of really Oh, God, I've got to get as much sleep. And actually, sometimes you've gotta be a better friend yourself here and that sort of, you know, like and I think the problem, that is, sometimes we don't do it quite right for a day so stuck [00:36:00] on you. I know you feel like shit. You know, Excuse my language. It's all your fault that if you do a bad job or you have a really cracked day or week, whatever fine. You know, that's cool. We survived it. And all the time I get you to keep trying. So I just wanted to That's why yeah, yeah, I One thing that I've been doing for I sat down originally [00:36:30] feel better. And then I I wrote it on a spreadsheet. Um, so it's kind of like a to do list, but not a to do list. It sort of just like me keeping track of what? You know, my how I felt, um, whether I did, whether I dance or listen to music or messaged a friend or went outside or well, you know, and you're unable [00:37:00] one you like to do Another one that I have on here is at least 2000 video games. It wasn't like, um and it's not so much about, like, forcing myself into it. Although I keep in the point, really love. So, like, if I listen to it for half time, that counts. If I get on my friend for a minute, that counts. Um, but sometimes it's really just start it, and then you're like, no here, So I might as well [00:37:30] just keep Oh, actually got better. Um, but then I go, Hey, I'm really noticing that, you know, I was a piece of I had They really didn't do any of those things. It was pretty bad. So it's kind of like, you know, something about that in that relationship, this is, you know, really see what it is without pressure without being pressure. [00:38:00] Yeah, I can say that. Uh, well, yeah, one thing like that that really works for me is is kind of being aware of the environment in in a grateful sense, like we have running water. That is so cool, right? Yeah. And and I get that is that is what that is. Generally, my go to on my Depression days is I I'll go grab a glass of water specifically to go. This is awesome. And and then and then I'll go to the bathroom and I'll go. This [00:38:30] is awesome. Just the fact that we have indoor plumbing and our and our hygiene. It's just that is awesome. And that's just that's that can get me through a Depression day. Just the mere concept of indoor plumbing. Just get really excited about toilets. Toilets are great for hygiene. Um, we have quite a few hands up. I'm just, um, aware of the time. How many? Two more. OK, the high. Um, so we done [00:39:00] things that I worked on with my in terms of like, it's hard to see, like, what's real and what isn't and what's like rational thinking. So the tool that she gave me, which had been the first time you was, um when you first start, you wrote it down. Um, but usually like evidence for and against. So for example, um, if [00:39:30] I go to a party that, you know, People think that I'm weird. Um, I'll get out the people and do evidence for and against. And I I'll find that, you know, the evidence against is, you know, vastly way before. Um, it's just nice to see it work in a tangible way. Getting things on a piece of paper. Um, last one. Yeah. OK. Um Well, personally, with the divorce thing, I treat myself like I'm someone [00:40:00] else. I don't compare myself to other people. I don't go like, Oh, Stella wouldn't still lie to myself. Um, I kind of I think, um, OK, if I were someone else, how would I think? Think them, I think. What would I think of them? I think you guys are all really empathetic people. So you can probably do this and say, um, if you fell down the stairs after getting up and getting a certificate, You, um if you find yourself beating yourself up inside, um, if you saw [00:40:30] Stella falling down the stairs after getting her, you would feel empathetic towards her, and you'd say, Oh, my gosh, poor thing. You know, you wouldn't be getting up and saying, Oh, why did you fall down the stairs so I kind of reverse that thinking and kind of try to think myself like I would think of someone else doing that thing that comes from being your own friend, right? And treating yourself how you would treat others. Be your own friend. Be your own parent. Be your own loving time by myself. I thank [00:41:00] you. Good to you, panellist. Um and thanks everyone for listening and contributing.
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